Article #73 - The Soul Hustler Pressbook and Soundtrack!

Today's awesome post of awesomeness is the original pressbook and soundtrack for the 1973 film Soul Hustler, starring Fabian Forte and Casey Kasem! 

GAH! What a badass poster.

As you may or may not know, I am a gigantic dork for films about religion — but mostly weird religion films about Christian cults... and Soul Hustler is one of the weirdest ones there is.

The story is about a druggie/hippie named Matthew, who, after accidentally killing his wife and kid in a car accident, goes on a crazy bender. He picks up a hitchhiker named Brian, and on the way to nowhere in particular, he stops at a church tent. He gives this crazy testimony, and claims to be the son of Jesus Christ! He's so charismatic that the crowd believes him, and the creepy pastor sees a moneymaking opportunity. After Matthew gets thrown in jail for fraud, the pastor comes and bails him out on one condition — he's got to join the pastor in his evil quest for money from gullible religious jerks! Along the way, Matthew becomes a huge deal, being the rock and roll star son of Jesus and all, and the pastor ends up hiring a press agent, played by Casey Kasem! Insanity ensues!

It's one crazy ass fun movie, and one that deserves to be seen more! Fabian is awesome as the singing son of Jesus Christ and Casey Kasem is perfect as the sleazy agent.

The movie's directed by Burt Topper, who also directed The Devil's 8 and The Hard Ride, amongst others. He also produced some awesome movies like Wild in the Streets, Devil's Angels, Thunder Alley, and Fireball 500!

The music's not half bad either. It's all fun fake Christian music, and perhaps that's why I love it. I sure do love me some fake Christian music. The songs and score are written by Harley Hatcher, who also wrote music for The Wild Angels, Kelly's Heroes, and another weird Casey Kasem movie that I've written about here before, Wild Wheels!

All the music is performed by the cast, too, so you're in for a lot more groovy Fabian-ness!

Like the Girl in Gold Boots pressbook, the Soul Hustler book contains a few pre-written articles that theaters were supposed to send to newspapers! Obviously my favorite of these is the one about the blasphemous nature of the film —

Well, there you go. The Soul Hustler is a really interesting early 70s cult film that definitely deserves to be rediscovered! While it's essentially a low budget B-Movie, it's well made and has a great message.  Fabian is actually really awesome in the movie, and the music is fun!

As always, you can CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC™ PHOTO EMIGGENER®!!

You can download the Soul Hustler pressbook and soundtrack HERE!!

Aaaaaaand if you wanna give the actual film a shot, which I highly suggest, you can purchase the VHS over at Amazon... or you can just watch it on this semi-legal interwebsite.

Enjoy!

Darkwing Duck - High Wave Robbery (Cassette & Storybook)

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know. I've been gone for a llllllllllloooooooonnnnnnggggggg time. 

But don't blame me! If anything, you should blame love... and whiskey... and Mai Tais...

Anywhoo, now that that's all over, I can finally get back to what really matters in my life — pants baskets! Uhhh... I mean BLOGGING!!

Today's magical blog of magicalness is the Darkwing Duck cassette and storybook, High Wave Robbery!

As you can see from the super groovy cover, this is an action packed thrill ride with motorcycles and fire and smoke and crazy-eyed Launchpads!

Well actually, it's just an episode of Darkwing Duck that wasn't good enough to actually be animated.

Also, I don't remember having FREE TRADING CARDS INSIDE... I feel gypped.

I enjoy this thing a whole heck of a lot. I can't even count how many times I've listened to this tape in my life. As a kid, I was OBSESSED with this thing. And to be perfectly honest, I still am.

The story concerns an evil supervillian named Frequencia who uses crazy loud sounds, or frequencies (GENIUS), to put people into a daze, and rob them while they are stuck in said daze. Darkwing Duck, of course, comes to save the day and... well, he saves the day. What else would he do?

It's a pretty awesome story.

Also, there's lots of puns. Like the names "Mrs. Rockefeather" and "Mooselangelo".

God, I love animal related puns.

Frequencia is a pretty cool lookin' supervillian too, if you ask me. I would've loved to see her in animated action, robbing people at movie premieres and art galleries! Dangit, Disney! Just start the Disney Afternoon all over again! I promise I'll pretend like the last 19 years of Disney Afternoon withdrawal never happened!

This episode ends with a BLORT — one of my favorite onomatopoeias. 

Yep. I sure do love BLORTs.

The voice acting on this story is obviously super awesome, as it includes all of the original cast from the TV show — Jim Cummings, Terrance McGovern, and Christine Cavanaugh.

The narration is great too... God, I wish I sounded as cool as William Woodson! I mean, he was the narrator for the All-New Super Friends Hour!!

Also, he dubbed someone in Brian De Palma's Bonfire of the Vanities, not that that matters, or anything... even though Brian De Palma has recently become my second favorite director of all time... but that's for another post altogether.

Let's just say that I've watched Body Double 16 times in the past four months, and leave it at that... at least for now...

Oh boy.

ANYWAYS, you can download the Darkwing Duck cassette and storybook of High Wave Robbery HERE!

And, as always, you can CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC™ PHOTO EMBIGGENER®!!

Enjoy!

Book #8691 - Blackbeard's Ghost Comic Book

Today's thing of interest to nobody else but me is the comic book novelization of my favorite late 60s weird-ass Disney film, Blackbeard's Ghost!

Magical, isn't it?

Well anyways, since I've talked wayyyyyy too much about this movie before, I won't go into the whole detail of the synopsis of the film again, so we'll talk about this crazy comic book!

For some reason, the comic book starts off with a scene that takes place about 15 minutes into the film and then flashbacks to the beginning. Confusarama!

Also, why does Dean Jones' cartoon character version look nothing like him, and exactly like Generic White Guy #993842?

So, the story continues and there's some great panels that show people narrating while something confusing is happening to them -- like this motorcycle cop who is being attacked by the drunken ghost of Blackbeard.

Help! I forgot to take my anti-psychotic medication

and now I can't stop narrating!

Then, randomly a couple pages later, there is a 3 page break in the story for some odd pieces of confusingness that have nothing to do with anything regarding Blackbeard's Ghost! My favorite of these things, though, is this page entitled Jest for Fun, featuring a happy picture of a an overpopulated barrel of monkeys and a bunch of 2-3 line jokes that apparently weren't good enough for a popsicle stick.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program...

So then we are thrown violently back into the story and into a crazy race where Blackbeard is screwing around with everything and helping Godolphin win so that an illegal bet that was made can be collected to help fund an old ladies' hotel. Yippee!! 

Soooooo, they win the race and the guy who runs the illegal gambling parlor who took the illegal bet on the illegal race from the illegal ghost of Blackbeard decides to not pay them their money... which is illegal! 

So the illegal ghost of Blackbeard and Dean Jones and Suzanne Pleshette rush over to the illegal gambling hall and attempt to get their illegal winnings from the illegal Silky Seymour!

And in all the illegal hubbub, this happens...

Hallelujah.

This is my favorite comic book panel of all time. Just pure genius.

So anyways, as you can guess, everything happens in favor of the ghost of Blackbeard and Dean Jones and Godolphin college and the old ladies' hotel thing, so we have our patented Disney happy ending.

Oh, and then we top it all off with this frightening advertisement for Golden Magazine.

Is Cracky on crack? Tune in next week to find out!

You can download the Blackbeard's Ghost comic book HERE!

Arrrrrrr!

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 16 of 16)

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the end... this is the end of the Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comics.

We've been through a lot together, and I don't know about you, but I've learned a lot. I've learned that 2 seconds of chicken screams are perfect nightmare fuel. I've learned how to cheat at basketball. I've learned that puppies are perfect tools for closing overstuffed suitcases. I've learned that finding oil is "durned bad luck". Most importantly though, I've learned what to say when I'm stuck in the car wash and having a psychotic episode/stroke.

Today, though, the learning ends. And what better way to close out this collegiate experience than with a Wacky Races slide comic? 

THERE IS NO BETTER WAY.

So, it comes to this. Our final Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comic is from the files of Wacky Races and is entitled "Bridge Out".

In the first panel we see our old psychotic friend Penelope Pitstop, the evil Dick Dastardly, and those spooky Munster-like people coming to a closed road because of a downed bridge. They seem very disappointed about this as evidenced by their exclamation of "WELL THAT ENDS THE RACE".

That one Munster-y/Addams Familyish guy wants to know where could they "SCARE UP A BRIDGE". 

HA. I get it.

Then, some Paul Bunyan guy in a wooden car with his pet Beaver come plowing through shouting through his teeth...

"MAKE WAY FOR THE BUZZ WAGON"

Paul Bunyan then plows through a bunch of green pine trees (and one blue one), knocking them over, and chopping them up, destroying entire ecosystems in a few short blows.

Apparently he seems to have constructed a bridge out of trees that used to be bird and chipmunk houses, and some professor in his (or her) helicopter car thingy takes it away.

The ever-smiling Paul Bunyany man and his Beaver are left behind to "CATCH UP" as everybody else Wacky Races along across the freshly laid bridge.

Aaaaaaand scene. Bow, hold for applause.

Thank you, and good night.

And good riddance to you stupid, dumb, evil, Satanic, poopy, and just plain idiotic Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comics!!

CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC PHOTO EMBIGGENER®!!

The end.

For now...

Article #1968 - The SKIDOO Program

Today's magicalness is the movie program from the classic Otto Preminger film travesty Skidoo.

Skidoo has gone down in history as being one of the greatest bad movies of all time. It's hard to believe that such a weirdly terrible movie can exist, considering the cast and crew of the Otto Preminger film Skidoodaly-doodoodoooooo. 

Sorry. I went insane there for a second.

The film stars Jackie Gleason, Carol Channing, Frankie Avalon, Cesar Romero, Burgess Meredith, Frank Gorshin, Peter Lawford, Mickey Rooney, George Raft, John Phillip Law, Richard "Eegah!" Kiel, and Groucho Marx as a mob boss named GOD. It also features a groovy soundtrack by Harry Nilsson. Now, considering all that talent, especially almost all of the 60s Batman villains, you would expect a pretty great film, right? 

Well, sorry, but no.

You see, this is what happens when you hire old people to make a film about LSD.

Apparently though, Groucho Marx did drop some acid with Timothy Leary in preparation for his role in the film, which is kind of weird. I would love to be there and see what kind of quips he came up with while tripping. Must've been one hilarious party.

The movie is essentially one gigantic train wreck. Scene after scene, and line after line, it just keeps going and going and getting weirder and weirder. Right when you think it can't get any stranger, it laughs in your face and says "LOOK AT THIS AND DEAL WITH IT" and, well, you just can't look away.

Especially when Jackie Gleason trips on acid.

It is quite possibly the greatest scene in the history of film as we know it.

So here we come to the end, and I present to you the movie program from the film Skidoo and its run at the Alhambra theater in San Francisco. And it is pretty awesome, if I do say so my self. (And I do)

Enjoy! And anybody who don't like that, daddy, don't like chicken on Sunday!

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 15 of 16)

We are ONE comic away from being done with these things, so be excited.

DO IT.

BE EXCITED, DANG IT!!

Okay, well since you're obviously not going to be excited we'll just get on with the program.

Today's fantastical comic stars the Wacky Racer Penelope Pitstop in the sad story "Soggy Setback".

So, Penelope and those 3 little tiny mobster guys are driving along and decide to stop at some random car wash in the middle of nowhere.

Hmm… seems legit.

As soon as they drive in, some weird purple guy wearing a mask and purple cape and hat slams the door, locking them in!

He turns on the faucet and laughs very Nelson-ish.

"GOODBYE, PESTS! HAW HAW!"

In the next panel, we see the four roadsters up to their legs in water.

Now here's where the story gets weird.

As the water is filling up the car wash, Penelope goes hysterical and says 5 words that make NO SENSE AT ALL --

"QUICK POCKETS CHUGGABOOMS

UNDERWATER ATTACHMENT"

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?! Did she have a stroke?! 

I HAVE NEVER BEEN AS CONFUSED AS I AM RIGHT NOW.

Oh God, I don't even know if I can finish this...

I just have so many questions…

Okay, okay. I can do this. I can do this. Breathe, Jeremy. Breathe.

*Phew*

Well, after having some sort of demon possessed moment, Penelope hits the gas and KRAKs right through the door and over the weird purple guy.

As Penelope and the three mobster dudes drive away, the weird purple guy sits there and laments that "THE CLAW'S PLAN IS ALL WASHED UP!". Oh. I guess the weird purple guy's name is THE CLAW. Just erase the name "weird purple guy" up there and replace it with THE CLAW. That'll work. I'm too lazy to fix it. Blah.

CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC PHOTO EMBIGGENER®.

Now, pass the Excedrin. My brain hurts. And I'm sure Penelope's does too.

Record #4569 - Aerobics USA

Today's record is the astronomically awesome Aerobics USA!

Aerobics USA is, in fact, created by Georgiana Liccione Stewart -- the same genius who brought us Disco For Kids. Remember how groovalicious Disco For Kids was?? Well, Aerobics USA is just about 2/3rds as awesome as that.

Unfortunately, Aerobics USA doesn't include not-disco-but-categorically-described-as-disco disco music. It does, however, include generic cover versions of generic 1980s pop-rock hits!

These hits include --

     • Bruce Springsteen's "Glory Days", "Born to Run" and "Born in the USA"!

     • Phil Collins' "Separate Lives"!

     • David Bowie and Mick Jagger's "Dancing in the Streets"!

     • Giorgio Moroder's (WHO?!?) "Reach Out"!

and last, but certainly not least...

     • The Army's lousy commercial theme song "Be All That You Can Be"!

As you can plainly see, this is a great album. It's chock full of classic music, an overdose of Springsteen, creepy narration (CLAP!), and…

DANCE MOVES, CHARLIE!!

YES!!

I have never seen a more rigorous workout than that, and as far as I know, I never will.

This record, which also includes the instrumental versions on the flip side, is a sure fire way to keep in shape AND listen to popular music at the same time!

Keep rockin' your body!! YEAH!!

Download your Aerobics USA workout HERE.

Record #3456 - Disco for Kids

Today's record is the freakishly funkalicious album, Disco for Kids! Now, I never really realized it till now, but almost all disco music is completely ridiculous.

I'm kidding. Obviously it's all ridiculous. Case in point - The Village People.

In 1977, disco was king. Forget punk rock. It's all about the disco, baby! YEAH!

I mean, disco was so dang popular, they even made a disco version of the Star Wars theme, and yes, just as you imagined, it is the 3rd or 4th greatest song ever recorded.

Don't believe me? Well, then you are denial and must check out the video below.

See? I TOLD YOU.

Okay, so it's not that great, but hey, it's fun!

Anyways, disco = big in the mid-70s.

Got that? Good. Now, onto the bloggery stuff.

Disco for Kids is, in one word, MAGNIFICENT. It has some of the greatest non-disco-but-categorically-described-as-disco music ever recorded, PLUS an instructional guide for dance moves! DANCE MOVES, CHARLIE! (I don't know who Charlie is, I just felt like saying that)

I don't know about you, but I have wanted to learn how to do the Knock Knee Bump since the beginning of time, and you know what? Thanks to this album, NOW I CAN! This is what America is all about, people.

Besides the great vaugely disco-ish music, my favorite thing about this record is Al Dana's nightmarish narration.

One word -- CLAP.

I honestly don't think I have ever heard anything more creepy.

One cool thing about this album, is that on Side A you have the songs with the narration teaching you the dance moves, but Side B contains all the instrumental versions of the songs! It's totally perfect for your junior high school's talent show! Ohhhh yeah!

I think my favorite track may be Slow Stomp (aka I've Got a Feeling) mostly because of the way he says "AND THE CHICKEN!" and "SIDE!" and that krazy keyboard riff. Oh, come on. You know you love it.

So, that's Disco for Kids! I've included the instructional booklet for you in the file as well. There's no need to thank me, just say a silent prayer to Günter, the Disco King, and all will be well with the Lloyd.

Download Disco for Kids, HERE.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 10 of 16)

WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO PART 10 OF THE KENNER GIVE-A-SHOW SLIDE COLLECTION!!

...I'm sorry for yelling at you, I just got excited.

Today's slide comic features that devilish dude, Yosemite Sam in "Out of my Mine". HA! I get it!

As we begin this magical tale, we see that Yosemite Sam is buying a gold mine from the cool cowboy with the inverted cow print vest. Awesome. Someone should buy me one of those.

After receiving the money from Sam, the devilishly cool cowboy counts his money. "Haw, haw!" Uh, oh… something bad is about to happen, I can just feel it.

CHOP! HACK!

Cut to: 3 Months Later

SHOVEL! DIG!

Yosemite Sam realizes he's been hoodwinked! Well, it's about time. Yeesh. Three months and nothing? Come on, Sam. Get with the program.

BOOM! POW!

Sam's so angry, he decides to shoot at the ground, because it can't shoot back.

"Oil! More durned bad luck!" Womp womp womp wommmmmmmmp…

Wait… OIL?! How the hell is that "durned bad luck"?! I mean, HE'S FREAKIN' RICH!! Ugh… I need to stop overanalyzing these things.

CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC PHOTO EMBIGGENER®!!

Enjoy!

Record #57 - Zingers from the Hollywood Squares

There's no real way to describe Zingers from the Hollywood Squares. Just as the title says, it includes actual zingers from the Hollywood Squares TV show. You know, back in the early 1970s it was a novel idea to name an album, and then fill it with content that actually matches the title. It was a brilliant concept.

This album is pretty dang funny, and why shouldn't it be? Look at all the hilarious people that are on this thing!

You've got Paul Lynde (of course), Don Knotts, Dom Deluise, Sally Fields, Buddy Hackett, Mel Brooks, Rose Marie, Don Rickles, Harvey Korman, Vincent Price, Suzanne Pleshette, Burt Reynolds, and of course, Charo.

And what would a 1970s TV show be without Charo? Nothing, that's what!

Instead of watching the "New" Hollywood Squares (ugh), enjoy this audio recording of actual funny people doing what they do best (which is be funny, just in case you didn't know).

Download the album HERE.

Aaaaaannnnd, last but not least, check out this hilarious video of Paul Lynde doing the local weather in Toledo, Ohio!

Enjoy!

And don't forget, every time you order a McRib, a demon gets its horns.

Record #1977 - This is Your... Princess Adventure

Today's record is the perfectly splendiferous, This is Your...Princess Adventure. Unfortunately, this record isn't about another treacherous trip with Cinderella, gosh darn it. It's almost better though, because, as you can plainly see, this is a document of YOUR Princess Cruise Adventure! Hey! Cruises are awesome! They're like a big floating buffet!

There is no doubt that you partook in the all of the activities offered to you by the cruise line - the casino, the lounge singers, jackpot Bingo, dance lessons, London pub night, the midnight buffet, the nightlife entertainment, the captain's cocktail party, and most importantly, skeet shooting!

Now, I've been on 3 cruises, but not ONE of them has given me the option of shooting things that are catapulted off the ship. The only activities I've been offered are shuffleboard and ping pong. I demand more guns!!

Anyways, this record is tons of fun, and it features a bunch of the strange and bizarre second-rate cruise entertainment. From my personal experience, ALL Cruise entertainment is super weird, yet delightfully fun! For example, the last time I was on a cruise there was a mariachi band playing Katy Perry songs. That's why you pay the big bucks for these fancy cruises.

As it says on the cover, this is a souvenir "LIVE" recording of your entire Princess Cruise! I'd really love to know why the word "LIVE" is in quotation marks. It says on the back that it is "actually recorded live onboard". So… is it really live, or is it just "LIVE"? Hey Princess Cruises, I NEED to know.

And, just as it's described, this deep and moving album truly is the perfect recording to share your Princess Cruise adventure with your loved ones at home. Now, find your muster station, sit back, relax, put this album on the phonograph, and enjoy vacationing vicariously through other people's 1977 Princess Adventure!

Download your very own Princess Cruise HERE.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 3 of 16)

It's been a while since I've posted about these, but then again, it's been a while since I posted at all. But hey, who's counting?

Welcome, one and all, to part 3 of my astounding collection of the bewitchingly compelling Give-a-Show Slide comics.

Today's installment features the adventures of that pleasant pup we all know and love - Scooby Doo, starring in an enchanting tale entitled "Fogbound Hound".

In this adventure, Scooby and his dangerously sunburnt pals from Mystery Inc. are out on a groovy night on the lake when they accidentally turn into a spooky fogbank! (GASP*)

Then, to much surprise, their motor quits on them! (SPUT SPUTTER)

Unable to be seen under the heavy fog, the fabulous fivesome are being approached on by a ship! With no warning, Scooby belts out a loud "OOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as Shaggy looks on with wonder.

Oh, thank the Lord! It worked! The sailors on the ship were able to see them, and not run them over! Phew! It sure was lucky they had a "built-in foghorn"! Aaaaaannnd cue the canned laughter.

CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC PHOTO EMBIGGENER®!!

*GASP added by me, not actually in comic. Void in Texas, Alaska, Puerto Rico, and wherever fine books are sold.*

Article #908 - The "Beatnick" Cigarette Holder

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm lazy.

Now, onto the blogging...

If I smoked, this would be the single most important item in my whole collection.

When I spend time in costume stores, there's no telling what I will come out with.

Near my house, there is a ginormous warehouse of costume supplies called "Robinson Beautilities". It is very easy to get lost in the piles of clip-on earrings, fake moustaches (a personal favorite), and prosthetic noses.

One day, while diving through the clearance section, I found what might be possibly be the coolest thing I own.

Now, as much as I love those rascally Dalmatians, the evil, monochrome-haired Cruella de Vil has always been a personal hero of mine. You know, minus the whole slaughtering house trained animals for her own amusement (and wardrobe). So, naturally when I saw this "Beatnick" Cigarette Holder, I squealed with delight.

This is also one of those items where I don't know if I love the actual item, or the packaging more.

"Oh' man it's AWAY out!". It literally does not get better than that.

I leave you know with the single greatest song ever written/performed about smoking.

Oh, and here's a public domain movie about beatniks directed by Paul Frees (the voice of Boris Badenov), ingeniously entitled, The Beatniks.

Enjoy!