The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 16 of 16)

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the end... this is the end of the Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comics.

We've been through a lot together, and I don't know about you, but I've learned a lot. I've learned that 2 seconds of chicken screams are perfect nightmare fuel. I've learned how to cheat at basketball. I've learned that puppies are perfect tools for closing overstuffed suitcases. I've learned that finding oil is "durned bad luck". Most importantly though, I've learned what to say when I'm stuck in the car wash and having a psychotic episode/stroke.

Today, though, the learning ends. And what better way to close out this collegiate experience than with a Wacky Races slide comic? 

THERE IS NO BETTER WAY.

So, it comes to this. Our final Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comic is from the files of Wacky Races and is entitled "Bridge Out".

In the first panel we see our old psychotic friend Penelope Pitstop, the evil Dick Dastardly, and those spooky Munster-like people coming to a closed road because of a downed bridge. They seem very disappointed about this as evidenced by their exclamation of "WELL THAT ENDS THE RACE".

That one Munster-y/Addams Familyish guy wants to know where could they "SCARE UP A BRIDGE". 

HA. I get it.

Then, some Paul Bunyan guy in a wooden car with his pet Beaver come plowing through shouting through his teeth...

"MAKE WAY FOR THE BUZZ WAGON"

Paul Bunyan then plows through a bunch of green pine trees (and one blue one), knocking them over, and chopping them up, destroying entire ecosystems in a few short blows.

Apparently he seems to have constructed a bridge out of trees that used to be bird and chipmunk houses, and some professor in his (or her) helicopter car thingy takes it away.

The ever-smiling Paul Bunyany man and his Beaver are left behind to "CATCH UP" as everybody else Wacky Races along across the freshly laid bridge.

Aaaaaaand scene. Bow, hold for applause.

Thank you, and good night.

And good riddance to you stupid, dumb, evil, Satanic, poopy, and just plain idiotic Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comics!!

CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC PHOTO EMBIGGENER®!!

The end.

For now...

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 15 of 16)

We are ONE comic away from being done with these things, so be excited.

DO IT.

BE EXCITED, DANG IT!!

Okay, well since you're obviously not going to be excited we'll just get on with the program.

Today's fantastical comic stars the Wacky Racer Penelope Pitstop in the sad story "Soggy Setback".

So, Penelope and those 3 little tiny mobster guys are driving along and decide to stop at some random car wash in the middle of nowhere.

Hmm… seems legit.

As soon as they drive in, some weird purple guy wearing a mask and purple cape and hat slams the door, locking them in!

He turns on the faucet and laughs very Nelson-ish.

"GOODBYE, PESTS! HAW HAW!"

In the next panel, we see the four roadsters up to their legs in water.

Now here's where the story gets weird.

As the water is filling up the car wash, Penelope goes hysterical and says 5 words that make NO SENSE AT ALL --

"QUICK POCKETS CHUGGABOOMS

UNDERWATER ATTACHMENT"

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?! Did she have a stroke?! 

I HAVE NEVER BEEN AS CONFUSED AS I AM RIGHT NOW.

Oh God, I don't even know if I can finish this...

I just have so many questions…

Okay, okay. I can do this. I can do this. Breathe, Jeremy. Breathe.

*Phew*

Well, after having some sort of demon possessed moment, Penelope hits the gas and KRAKs right through the door and over the weird purple guy.

As Penelope and the three mobster dudes drive away, the weird purple guy sits there and laments that "THE CLAW'S PLAN IS ALL WASHED UP!". Oh. I guess the weird purple guy's name is THE CLAW. Just erase the name "weird purple guy" up there and replace it with THE CLAW. That'll work. I'm too lazy to fix it. Blah.

CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC PHOTO EMBIGGENER®.

Now, pass the Excedrin. My brain hurts. And I'm sure Penelope's does too.