The Girl in Gold Boots Memorabilia (Part 5 of 3)

Yeah, I know. I keep saying "That's the end of it all. That's the end of the Girl in Gold Boots stuff." Well, I'm sorry. I'M SORRY, OKAY?! THIS IS REALLY THE LAST ONE... maybe.

Today's article of Girl in Gold Boots-related stuff is the one and only full-length album Sinner or Saint by Joe Valino -- the guy who sang the fantastically memorable "Gold" song on the soundtrack of the film!

This is a pretty great album, actually.

I don't know really any way to recommend this album more than to say "LISTEN TO THIS." This really is a lost classic of lounge music. 

The album isn't much like his hit "Garden of Eden" single, which may be the reason why he didn't make any more records. Sad face.

This is going to sound really stupid, but I'm totally blanking on things to say about this that aren't just "LISTEN AND LIKE THIS, DANG IT" because it's just a really enjoyable album. So, listen to it and like it... dang it!

So, grab a Mai Tai and put this on. You won't be disappointed!

You can download Joe Valino's Sinner or Saint album HERE.

Record #89432 - Shindig!

Today's record is the soundtrack/compilation from the super cool 60s music TV show, Shindig!

Shindig! was a pretty cool show. Trillions (okay, not trillions but maybe billions) of really popular musicians performed (or lip synced) their hits on the show, and then sold millions of records! Yipee!

Wanna see what it was like? Well, here's The Beach Boys performing "Do You Wanna Dance" on Shindig! while Mike Love dances like a freak.

Or how about The Ronettes performing "Be My Baby"?

Or The Searchers performing Sonny Bono's song "Needles & Pins"?

Or, if you're so inclined, the greatest car chase song ever (and my ringtone), "Sunshine, Lollipops & Rainbows" by Lesley Gore?

Yup, it was prettay, prettay, prettay, prettay groovy.

This soundtrack is pretty groovy too, with some great 60s pop/rock-ness. Pretty much the only big names on this album are Fats Domino, The Impressions, and The Tams, who everybody knows (or at least should know).

Even though those artists are pretty great, my favorite artist on this album  is Steve Alaimo. Why? Well, because he starred in a really crappy movie about bikers getting their "kicks" called The Wild Rebels, which, as you can guess, was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000. That fact alone makes him go up about 32 notches in my book.

You can download the Shindig! soundtrack HERE.

Record #85432 - Don't Make Waves (Soundtrack)

Today's record is the Vic Mizzy/The Byrds soundtrack to the Alexander MacKendrick film Don't Make Waves, starring Tony Curtis!

It's kind of a weird (well, to me anyways) that the director and star of Sweet Smell of Success would decide to make a Beach Party-esque film.

To be perfectly honest, this is a strange movie. In fact, I'm not really sure how to describe this film. Because I'm insanely lazy, let's let the trailer do the explaining!

Does that help? No? Yeah, that's what I thought.

The movie's actually pretty fun all around, but my favorite thing about this film is the performance from the awesome character actor Robert Webber. He's just always super entertaining. Go watch his Rockford Files guest appearances -- especially the one where he's a Criswell-esque psychic. Oh yeah. It's just as groovy as it sounds.

The film also includes one of the few leading roles from Sharon Tate, who was murdered in the infamous Manson murders! Creeeeepyyyyyyyyyy.

The soundtrack is awesome, and hey, why shouldn't it be? It's by Vic Mizzy, who did some of the best soundtracks of the 60s, including the William Castle films The Night Walker, The Spirit is Willing, The Busy Body, and my second favorite movie of all time, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken!!

Also cool, is the theme song which is written by Roger McGuinn (under his real name, Jim) and performed by his band The Byrds. Super groovy.

You can get the Don't Make Waves soundtrack HERE.

Turn-On: Episode #1003 Script

Well, boy howdy. Today's item it something that is unimaginably ridiculous and extremely rare. It is the script from the nonexistent third episode of the unclassic 1969 sketch comedy show Turn-On, featuring guest star Sebastian Cabot!

For some reason, George Schlatter, the guy who produced Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In (which was actually funny and smart) decided to make a new show where the premise is that a computer chooses what weird ass political comedy is going to be thrust into your face on your television.

Cool, huh?

Well, not really. It didn't really go as planned. Depending on who you believe, the show was either cancelled after the first episode, or as Tim Conway says, halfway through the airing of the first episode. I choose to believe Tim Conway. He is Dorf, after all.

Interestingly enough, Albert Brooks was on the writing staff of this show. Now, look, I LOVE Albert Brooks. I think Real Life and Modern Romance are two of the funniest movies ever, but this show is just BLECH. Sorry, Al.

RANDOM TRIVIA: Apparently, since the show got cancelled, the second episode's airing (which guest starred Robert Culp) was preempted with an airing of the film The Oscar, which is one of my favorite campy 1960s movies. Groovy.

Supposedly the comedy was too provocative for its time. Or it just sucked. Here, judge for yourself from some clips from the unaired second episode.

Yeah. Weird.

The thing that I can't understand about this show is why it has to be a semi-clone of the infinitely better Laugh-In. The show moves from one sketch to the other at the speed of light, and the "jokes" in this show are either weird sight gags or nonsensical one-liners that required a set up not short enough to fit on a popsicle stick.

Take for example, this one --

HA! OH MY GOD! THAT IS SO SUBVERSIVE!

(Not really.)

Maybe I'm just too young or stupid or something, but I just don't find that funny at all. Maybe it's just really not funny. I don't know. I'm no comedy expert... although I pretend to be.

I also can't help but hear this sound whenever I read the punchline of all these jokes. That may be throwing me off.

The best thing about this script is the inclusion of some storyboard and concept art doodles for the episode, even though they aren't all that funny either... with the exception of this one --

Boob jokes are always hilarious, even if they make no sense with absolutely no context whatsoever.

If you wanna know more about this strange show, you should check out this interview with George Schlatter about Turn-On, or if you live in Los Angeles, go to the Paley Center for Media where you can watch the first episode in their library... which I've yet to do. You can also check out the Wikipedia page for a description of some skits from the first episode.

So, check out this rare oddity that you probably can't find anywhere else, and pray that maybe one day the two filmed episodes will be released on DVD for posterity... or for some other reason.

Download the Turn-On script for episode #1003 HERE.

The Girl in Gold Boots Memorabilia (Part 4 of 3)

So you thought the last post was the end, eh? No more of that stuff that movie about go-go dancers and drugs? You thought it was the end of my Girl in Gold Boots stuff, didn't you? Didn't you?!

Well, so did I. But then these things appeared on the electronic bay interweb site, and obviously I had to purchase them. 

So here we go, four more of the promotional photos from Ted V. Mikels' Girl in Gold Boots!

Book #8691 - Blackbeard's Ghost Comic Book

Today's thing of interest to nobody else but me is the comic book novelization of my favorite late 60s weird-ass Disney film, Blackbeard's Ghost!

Magical, isn't it?

Well anyways, since I've talked wayyyyyy too much about this movie before, I won't go into the whole detail of the synopsis of the film again, so we'll talk about this crazy comic book!

For some reason, the comic book starts off with a scene that takes place about 15 minutes into the film and then flashbacks to the beginning. Confusarama!

Also, why does Dean Jones' cartoon character version look nothing like him, and exactly like Generic White Guy #993842?

So, the story continues and there's some great panels that show people narrating while something confusing is happening to them -- like this motorcycle cop who is being attacked by the drunken ghost of Blackbeard.

Help! I forgot to take my anti-psychotic medication

and now I can't stop narrating!

Then, randomly a couple pages later, there is a 3 page break in the story for some odd pieces of confusingness that have nothing to do with anything regarding Blackbeard's Ghost! My favorite of these things, though, is this page entitled Jest for Fun, featuring a happy picture of a an overpopulated barrel of monkeys and a bunch of 2-3 line jokes that apparently weren't good enough for a popsicle stick.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program...

So then we are thrown violently back into the story and into a crazy race where Blackbeard is screwing around with everything and helping Godolphin win so that an illegal bet that was made can be collected to help fund an old ladies' hotel. Yippee!! 

Soooooo, they win the race and the guy who runs the illegal gambling parlor who took the illegal bet on the illegal race from the illegal ghost of Blackbeard decides to not pay them their money... which is illegal! 

So the illegal ghost of Blackbeard and Dean Jones and Suzanne Pleshette rush over to the illegal gambling hall and attempt to get their illegal winnings from the illegal Silky Seymour!

And in all the illegal hubbub, this happens...

Hallelujah.

This is my favorite comic book panel of all time. Just pure genius.

So anyways, as you can guess, everything happens in favor of the ghost of Blackbeard and Dean Jones and Godolphin college and the old ladies' hotel thing, so we have our patented Disney happy ending.

Oh, and then we top it all off with this frightening advertisement for Golden Magazine.

Is Cracky on crack? Tune in next week to find out!

You can download the Blackbeard's Ghost comic book HERE!

Arrrrrrr!

The William Castle Memorabilia (Part 2)

Today's grooviness is the full set of lobby cards from William Castle's film, Project X!

Although it's not technically a "great" film, Project X has got a few cool things going for it. First, it's (obviously) directed by William Castle, and it's his only Sci-Fi film. Second, the psychedelicarrific special effects were produced by Hanna-Barbera (who later recycled some of the character animation effects into Johnny Quest). But my favorite thing about the film is the really entertaining performance from Henry Jones, who plays a semi-mad-scientist that hooks computers up to a spy's brain and projects his dreams and memories onto some sort of hologram monitor thing! Super cool. I definitely enjoy this film a whole bunch.

As you'll notice from looking at the lobby cards, there is also some really awesome Star Trek-y set design, and in fact, they used a bunch of sound effects from the show. Most recognizable though, is the classic Star Trek sliding door sound effect!

The movie, which is set in the future year of 2118, is about a government panel bringing a cryogenically frozen spy back to reality to help them figure out what sort of crazy people-killing device the evil Chinese have created. Also, for some reason, they feel the need to distract him by inducing an amnesia type situation and make him believe he lives in the year 1968 as a bank robber on the run, hiding in a rural farm house.

Yep. It's your classic "amnesia = interesting Sci-Fi plot device" kind of story!

Before you ask, YES, I do own

this poster.

The movie has been notoriously hard to find for almost forever, but it's finally being released by the  magical gods at Olive Films on DVD and Blu-Ray, followed by another Castle oddity, the comedy The Spirit is Willing starring Sid Caesar!! That's right, the first William Castle films being put on Blu-Ray are going to be two of his most obscure films. I find that odd, but hey, I'm not complaining! I'm so excited, I pre-ordered both of them two months ago!

Below you'll find the complete set of eight promotional lobby cards from Project X. These cards are perfect, as they give you an excellent feel for the aesthetic of the film, along with some of the super cool poster art, including William Castle's trademark silhouette logo.

By the way, the last one is my favorite, but that's only because I like brains floating in gigantic fishbowls of  Hi-C Ecto-Cooler.

And as always, you can CLICK on the photos to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC PHOTO EMBIGGENER®!!

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 16 of 16)

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the end... this is the end of the Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comics.

We've been through a lot together, and I don't know about you, but I've learned a lot. I've learned that 2 seconds of chicken screams are perfect nightmare fuel. I've learned how to cheat at basketball. I've learned that puppies are perfect tools for closing overstuffed suitcases. I've learned that finding oil is "durned bad luck". Most importantly though, I've learned what to say when I'm stuck in the car wash and having a psychotic episode/stroke.

Today, though, the learning ends. And what better way to close out this collegiate experience than with a Wacky Races slide comic? 

THERE IS NO BETTER WAY.

So, it comes to this. Our final Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comic is from the files of Wacky Races and is entitled "Bridge Out".

In the first panel we see our old psychotic friend Penelope Pitstop, the evil Dick Dastardly, and those spooky Munster-like people coming to a closed road because of a downed bridge. They seem very disappointed about this as evidenced by their exclamation of "WELL THAT ENDS THE RACE".

That one Munster-y/Addams Familyish guy wants to know where could they "SCARE UP A BRIDGE". 

HA. I get it.

Then, some Paul Bunyan guy in a wooden car with his pet Beaver come plowing through shouting through his teeth...

"MAKE WAY FOR THE BUZZ WAGON"

Paul Bunyan then plows through a bunch of green pine trees (and one blue one), knocking them over, and chopping them up, destroying entire ecosystems in a few short blows.

Apparently he seems to have constructed a bridge out of trees that used to be bird and chipmunk houses, and some professor in his (or her) helicopter car thingy takes it away.

The ever-smiling Paul Bunyany man and his Beaver are left behind to "CATCH UP" as everybody else Wacky Races along across the freshly laid bridge.

Aaaaaaand scene. Bow, hold for applause.

Thank you, and good night.

And good riddance to you stupid, dumb, evil, Satanic, poopy, and just plain idiotic Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comics!!

CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC PHOTO EMBIGGENER®!!

The end.

For now...

Article #1968 - The SKIDOO Program

Today's magicalness is the movie program from the classic Otto Preminger film travesty Skidoo.

Skidoo has gone down in history as being one of the greatest bad movies of all time. It's hard to believe that such a weirdly terrible movie can exist, considering the cast and crew of the Otto Preminger film Skidoodaly-doodoodoooooo. 

Sorry. I went insane there for a second.

The film stars Jackie Gleason, Carol Channing, Frankie Avalon, Cesar Romero, Burgess Meredith, Frank Gorshin, Peter Lawford, Mickey Rooney, George Raft, John Phillip Law, Richard "Eegah!" Kiel, and Groucho Marx as a mob boss named GOD. It also features a groovy soundtrack by Harry Nilsson. Now, considering all that talent, especially almost all of the 60s Batman villains, you would expect a pretty great film, right? 

Well, sorry, but no.

You see, this is what happens when you hire old people to make a film about LSD.

Apparently though, Groucho Marx did drop some acid with Timothy Leary in preparation for his role in the film, which is kind of weird. I would love to be there and see what kind of quips he came up with while tripping. Must've been one hilarious party.

The movie is essentially one gigantic train wreck. Scene after scene, and line after line, it just keeps going and going and getting weirder and weirder. Right when you think it can't get any stranger, it laughs in your face and says "LOOK AT THIS AND DEAL WITH IT" and, well, you just can't look away.

Especially when Jackie Gleason trips on acid.

It is quite possibly the greatest scene in the history of film as we know it.

So here we come to the end, and I present to you the movie program from the film Skidoo and its run at the Alhambra theater in San Francisco. And it is pretty awesome, if I do say so my self. (And I do)

Enjoy! And anybody who don't like that, daddy, don't like chicken on Sunday!

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 15 of 16)

We are ONE comic away from being done with these things, so be excited.

DO IT.

BE EXCITED, DANG IT!!

Okay, well since you're obviously not going to be excited we'll just get on with the program.

Today's fantastical comic stars the Wacky Racer Penelope Pitstop in the sad story "Soggy Setback".

So, Penelope and those 3 little tiny mobster guys are driving along and decide to stop at some random car wash in the middle of nowhere.

Hmm… seems legit.

As soon as they drive in, some weird purple guy wearing a mask and purple cape and hat slams the door, locking them in!

He turns on the faucet and laughs very Nelson-ish.

"GOODBYE, PESTS! HAW HAW!"

In the next panel, we see the four roadsters up to their legs in water.

Now here's where the story gets weird.

As the water is filling up the car wash, Penelope goes hysterical and says 5 words that make NO SENSE AT ALL --

"QUICK POCKETS CHUGGABOOMS

UNDERWATER ATTACHMENT"

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?! Did she have a stroke?! 

I HAVE NEVER BEEN AS CONFUSED AS I AM RIGHT NOW.

Oh God, I don't even know if I can finish this...

I just have so many questions…

Okay, okay. I can do this. I can do this. Breathe, Jeremy. Breathe.

*Phew*

Well, after having some sort of demon possessed moment, Penelope hits the gas and KRAKs right through the door and over the weird purple guy.

As Penelope and the three mobster dudes drive away, the weird purple guy sits there and laments that "THE CLAW'S PLAN IS ALL WASHED UP!". Oh. I guess the weird purple guy's name is THE CLAW. Just erase the name "weird purple guy" up there and replace it with THE CLAW. That'll work. I'm too lazy to fix it. Blah.

CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC PHOTO EMBIGGENER®.

Now, pass the Excedrin. My brain hurts. And I'm sure Penelope's does too.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 14 of 16)

Since this is my 50th post, I'm feeling kind of lazy, so I'm going to do the bare minimum.

Hold onto your hats.

This is a comic. It has Mighty Mouse. It is called "Magnetic Personality". Oh, the fun.

Some mice are going to a picnic in a helicopter. Why? I don't know, and frankly, I don't want to know.

Some cat has a magnet and talks to himself.

Lightningy magnetism strikes the helicopter.

HUMMMMM

The cat uses the magnet to make the helicopter "COME TO PAPA".

I don't know how he knows evil is happening, but out of the blue (well, actually out of the green) Mighty Mouse comes to save the day by SNATCHing the magnet from the cat. 

The cat runs away and then WHOOSH, Mighty Mouse throws the magnet at the cat.

The magnet knocks the cat on the ground and pins him to the ground while stars and what appears to be a sparkler bounce on his brain barrier (his head).

The end.

Now, let's all join in a silent prayer to thank the sweet Lloyd that there are only 2 more of these crapfests left.

CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC PHOTO EMBIGGENER®. 

Or don't. Whatever.

Don't enjoy this one.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 13 of 16)

 Okay. Here we go again. SLIDE COMICS. Oh come on, you know you love it.

Today's Give-a-Show stars those crazy carnivores Motormouse & Autocat in the profound potboiler "Oops!"

Autocat's NEW RADAR SUCTION HARPOOON IS READY! Yes! Finally! I mean, the 1970 model was great, but dang, this 1971 model sure is far out!

BEEP

Motormouse speeds on by on some sort of motorbikecycle!

ZZZT!

Then, Autocat who kind of resembles Heathcliff, sets his suction harpoon to retrieve anything on a motorcycle. YES! Finally, some action in these things.

KaBLOOEY

The suction harpoon explodes and flies across apartment buildings… and my favorite restaurant -- EAT!!

Looks like Autocat's caught something! He reeeeeeeels it in!

CRANK CRANK

"Oops!".

HEY!! THAT'S WHERE THE TITLE CAME FROM!! NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE!! (No it doesn't)

BEEP (again)

Oh, hilarity ensued and Autocat has harpooned a police bike. HA.

As Autocat is hauled away to jail in a paddywagon, Motormouse ZOW's by just to taunt him.

So as we all can see, the exploits of Motormouse & Autocat are just a step below (or above, your pick) Tom & Jerry.

The end.

The Girl in Gold Boots Memorabilia (Part 2 of 3)

Today's grooviness is PART TWO of the three part collection of my Girl in Gold Boots memorabilia. The piece we're going to be looking at today is the original pressbook from the 1968 Ted V. Mikels cult classic!

As you can plainly see,  the film was promoted as a BOX-OFFICE BONANZA OF GOLD! Oh, how I love the word "bonanza". I don't know how much money it actually made, but I highly doubt it was a "bonanza". Perhaps it being featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 brought it more fans, DVD sales, and money! At least, I hope it did.

As with all pressbooks, the whole thing is basically just a tiny newspaper that's sole purpose is to explain to you how awesome the movie is, and show you that if you put this film in your theater,  you will be rolling around in buckets of gold and rainbows from the mystical land of Figgleforth.

The pressbook also contains what I love the most about B-Movie/Exploitation films -- promotional materials. Possibly my favorite thing about these kind of films are the catchphrases and the taglines they come up with for the posters and advertisements.

"Vibrant... 

Unpredictable... 

She hungered for fame... 

The men in her life offered her 

love, danger, excitement!"

Pure genius. If you can resist that, then you are a much stronger person than I.

The pressbook also includes a few biographical articles on each of the main actors in the film -- Leslie McRae, Tom Pace, Jody Daniels, and Mark Herron. As far as I know, the main three characters are all still alive... but, I could be wrong. All I know is that I'd love to meet Jody Daniels, Leslie McRae, or Tom Pace... HINT HINT...

Leslie McRae did a lot of work in the 60s and 70s, with bit parts on lots of TV shows, such as Here's Lucy, Love, American Style, and Green Acres. She also had small parts in The Long Goodbye, the classically campy film Valley of the Dolls, and as Don Rickles' girlfriend in The Money Jungle. She had starring and supporting roles in some other films, like Ted V. Mikels' Blood Orgy of the She-Devils, Bummer, Wonder Women, Coffy, and probably the most popular, Paul Bartel's cult classic Death Race 2000. Her most recent role took place after a 30 YEAR absence from film and TV, in the 2005 docu-drama Day of Miracles -- which she also produced. From what we can tell from her IMDb page, she has been mostly producing projects since 1997, including the 2007 Academy Awards! WOAH. Mind = Blown.

Tom Pace mostly performed in TV, such as Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Mission: Impossible, and  11 episodes of Combat!. Ted V. Mikels seemed to like him, since he cast him in two of his other films -- Blood Orgy of the She-Devils and Astro-Zombies. He also had a bit part in the classic disaster film Airport, where he plays one of the passengers on the plane who makes concerned faces in the background.

Jody Daniels, being a musician-turned-actor, started out recording for Dot Records, putting out only one 7" single, and unfortunately, no full length LP. The only other movie that he had a starring role is in an extremely rare biker film entitled Hells Chosen Few, which was also released in 1968. He also had bit parts in the films Policewomen, High Yellow, and the TV movie The Eye Creatures.

According to this pressbook, Jody performed a song on an episode of the classic anthology show, Route 66. As a normal crazy person should, I decided to look this up on IMDb to find out and pick up the DVD. Unfortunately for me, IMDb does not list any episodes featuring our pal Jody Daniels. But, that didn't stop me. Since I work part-time at the world's greatest video store, CineFile Video, I decided to rent out a season of Route 66, on the extremely unlikely chance that I would find it.

As soon as I brought it home, I searched online to find the episodes on the DVD that were filmed in Texas, since the show usually cast people from the towns they were filming in. Well, as luck would have it, the first episode I picked was the one! I got about 2/3 of the way through, when a party scene arose. I heard guitar, the camera cut around the party, and there he was -- tight gray suit, clean shaven, slicked back hair, and playing the same exact guitar he plays in Girl in Gold Boots! Kablam!

Check him out in the scene from the Route 66 second season episode "A Long Piece of Mischief" in the video below! He's rockin' out in the background throughout the whole scene, but at about 0:45, there's a good look at him and that awesome guitar.

Of the four main stars, the one with the most intriguing life story has to be Mark Herron, who played the greasy nightclub owner, Leo McCabe. One thing that the pressbook only briefly mentions is that he had a role in Frederico Fellini's 8 1/2, which is now considered one of the greatest films of all time.

But by far the most interesting thing about Mark Herron is the fact that at the of the making of Girl in Gold Boots, he was married to super duper movie/music star Judy Garland! He was her fourth husband, and their marriage lasted from November 1965 to January 1969. They broke off the marriage when she discovered that he was gay, and apparently having an affair with her daughter Liza Minnelli's boyfriend and later husband.

Oh boy.

Mark and Judy -- professional smilers.

Another page of this pressbook promotes something that was never officially released -- the Girl in Gold Boots Soundtrack. Chris Howard wrote the main theme and other songs for the film, but many of the songs (including the theme) were sung by Larry Cartell. Other tracks were performed by Joe Valino and Jerry Wallace. Jody Daniels even wrote a song for the film! 

Now, for gigantic nerdy fans of this film, being able to find all the surprisingly super songs from the movie is like finding the holy grail of B-Movie music. Since the album was never released, it seems almost impossible, unless you're magical like me...

But that's a different post altogether.

Well, I hope you and your gold and blue fur bikini enjoy the pluperfect pressbook from Girl in Gold Boots. Now, keep your gold boots movin', uh huh! Yeahhhh you're lookin' just fine, yeah girl!

Sorry, I got carried away there for a moment.

Download the pressbook PDF HERE!!

And stay tuned for the super duper and unimaginably intense PART THREE of the Girl in Gold Boots memorabilia!!

Record #7-10 - Bowl-A-Record

The title Bowl-A-Record kind of explains itself, doesn't it? No? Bah! You people and your expectations of long, convoluted descriptions and paragraphs that lead to nowhere!

Well, you asked for it (not really) and now you're going to get it.

Anyways, today's record is the "supreme, scientific way of harnessing the power of your mind" to get on your way to becoming THE GREATEST BOWLER IN THE UNIVERSE!!

Okay, not really. Maybe the greatest bowler in your apartment building, but not the universe.

Sorry if I got your hopes up.

This record is supposed to teach you how to become a better bowler by using the POWER OF SUGGESTION which apparently, we all have. That's a lame superpower. I want Cheese-Vision™, dang it.

As evidenced by the back cover of this record, the narrator, Professor Richard Carl Spurney (who has a degree in Bowlology) is "one of the world's noted authorities on recorded suggestion. He has served in this capacity as consultant to our armed forces, the medical profession, educational institutions, and large corporations". Huh. Didn't know that. Don't really care, either.

In case you're wondering, the POWER OF SUGGESTION is basically you trying to convince (aka hypnotize) yourself to think that you're a better bowler. Now, maybe that helps you, and that's cool, but I  sure as heck don't try to convince myself that I'm a brain surgeon, although that would be fun...

As you listen to the narration on Side Two, you should be convinced that the power of suggestion is a serious thing.

No… wait… That's the "Power of Love" by Huey Lewis and the News.

Well,  anyways, don't listen to Side Two if you're sleepy, because you might fall asleep and wake up a better bowler and try to bowl a baby out a window or something. People do crazy things when they're hypnotized. Believe me, I've seen enough horror movies to know that these things happen almost every day.

Well, I hope you enjoy Bowl-A-Record. Perhaps one day, with the help of Professor Richard Carl Spurney, you will become a better bowler and win the World's Championship of Bowling, or as I like to call it, The Bowling Bowl.

Fair warning though -- if you do win The Bowling Bowl, I get half the prize money for introducing you to this self-improvement record.

Download the Bowl-A-Record record HERE.

Have fun, and keep bowling for the stars!!

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 11 of 16)

Ahhhhh yes… the Kenner Give-a-Show slide comics. You can't escape it. Search your feelings, you know it to be true!

I... don't know why I just said that.

Well anyways, here we go again.

Today's comic features that pathetic puddy-tat Sylvester and his evil nemesis, Tweety! Oh, goody.

For some reason, Sylvester and Tweety, who are both well-known domesticated house pets, are entwined in some sort of chase in the forest. THE FOREST. Yeesh... the factual inaccuracies in these comics are becoming more and more obvious.

"I TAWT I TAW A PUDDY TAT!"

Yeah… Well, duh.

HEH HEH

ZOW (hey, that's a new one!) - Sylvester continues to chase Tweety until…

ZIP - Tweety swoops down and into a hollow log. Oh, great. I've seen enough silent movies to know where this is going.

Sylvester chases Tweety into the hollow log, as a butterfly flies around his butt for some unknown reason.

Suddenly, Tweety pops out from a tiny hole in the log, giving a fond farewell to the "puddy". HA! I KNEW IT!

CRUNCK KRASH CRUNK - Out of nowhere, this log decides to roll down the orangey/reddish ground towards a lake or a river or a stream or some sort of body of water.

A fjord? Yeah. I'm gonna say it's a fjord.

In the end, we see Sylvester now frantically floating down this fjord on the hollow log, whilst Tweety taunts him, like the little twerp he is.

THE END.

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Enjoy… I guess.