Friday, June 21, 2013

Record #1978 - The "Moment by Moment" Soundtrack

Oh boy. Here we go again.

So, there's this movie that came out in 1978. It stars John Travolta and Lily Tomlin. The film is called Moment By Moment, and it is by far, the most disgustingly terrible film I have ever seen.

And this is the soundtrack...

So in this movie, Lily Tomlin plays Trisha, a drug addicted rich lady who is insanely bored with her life. The film starts out with Trisha having a chance meeting with a drug dealer named Strip (no, I'm not kidding... that's really the character's name) at Schwab's Pharmacy, where she finds out that she's run out of her sleeping pill prescription. Strip follows her home and they start a really creepy relationship in exchange for drugs. Of course, to make things worse for everyone involved, they have lots of sex, and make out in a hot tub.


Why does this movie exist?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

"Ohhhhhhh, Strip!"


Seriously, guys. It's the worst.

In fact, Moment By Moment is so freaking bad, it's never been released on DVD or VHS or Beta or Laserdisc or even CED!!

Well, you know, except in Germany... because we all know how much Germans love repulsive love stories.

Aaaaaanyways, even with all the star power of Lily Tomlin and John Travolta, this movie just didn't do great. Apparently, people just don't want to see a love story about two super famous people who are obviously not attracted to each other... and also look like brother and sister.

No, seriously... Lily Tomlin looks exactly like Ellen Travolta!



Also, weirdly enough, this film was written and directed by Jane Wagner, who is the longtime romantic partner of Lily Tomlin. Oddness.

Also, this movie was apparently going to be featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, but at the last second, they weren't able to get the rights to do it. Damn it, that would've been awesome.


The music in this film is kind of ridiculous, and adds to the insanity of it all.

And of course, it being the late 70s, and it being a crappy love story, the Moment By Moment soundtrack includes one of the worst "love" songs ever — "Sometimes When We Touch" by Dan Hill.

Basically, it's all the kind of music you'd find on Los Angeles radio smooooooth jazz... 94.7... The Waaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy-haaaaaaayyyyyyyvvvve!


Also, I have a theory about playing non-stop smooth jazz in prison... but that's a whole different (and perhaps more political) post altogether.

You can download the soundtrack to Moment By Moment HERE!!

GAH! Kill me.

Also... ENJOY!

Monday, May 27, 2013

Rip Taylor's Dramatic Reel

No, I'm not kidding. This thing is real. My awesome boss, Phillip, at the greatest video store in the universe, CineFile Video, discovered this amazing VHS. And boy oh boy, do I thank him for it.

So, apparently after appearing in such dramatic masterpieces as Indecent Proposal and Wayne's World 2, Rip Taylor decided he wanted to be the next Rip Torn and become a dramatic Oscar® caliber actor. And of course, to show off his acting chops, they cut together this videotape compilation of his best dramatic work.

Weirdly enough, this tape starts with Rip in a Dr. Pepper commercial, where he screams and giggles at us about winning $100,000 or a "nostalgic Dr. Pepper mini-truck", or an "exciting 1985 Buick Century". Groovy.

Of course the tape also includes the aforementioned toupĂ©e-less scene from Indecent Proposal (which disappointingly doesn't consist of him throwing confetti at Robert Redford), as well as another hairless scene from some weird short lived 90s TV series called Johnny Bago with Denise Crosby, where Rip Taylor plays the wannabe game show host mayor of some creepy town.

Then it cuts to the most schizophrenically disturbing commercial for adult survivors of child abuse I've ever seen. AND THEN, a weird-ass clip from an infomercial for the Psychic Friends Network where Rip implores you to finally do something for yourself, and call the Psychic Friends Network... NOW!!

And of course, since we started with some funny, we must end with funny — so the tape ends with a clip from Rip's live comedy show where he tells a terrible joke about Bill Clinton having sex with a doberman. Thank you, Jesus.

Check it out below!

Well, that's it. That is the "dramatic reel" of the great Rip Taylor.


It sure is.

And if you thought that was great, check out the back of the VHS box where it proclaims all the awesomeness that is Rip Taylor.


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Article #73 - The Soul Hustler Pressbook and Soundtrack!

Today's awesome post of awesomeness is the original pressbook and soundtrack for the 1973 film Soul Hustler, starring Fabian Forte and Casey Kasem! 

GAH! What a badass poster.

As you may or may not know, I am a gigantic dork for films about religion — but mostly weird religion films about Christian cults... and Soul Hustler is one of the weirdest ones there is.

The story is about a druggie/hippie named Matthew, who, after accidentally killing his wife and kid in a car accident, goes on a crazy bender. He picks up a hitchhiker named Brian, and on the way to nowhere in particular, he stops at a church tent. He gives this crazy testimony, and claims to be the son of Jesus Christ! He's so charismatic that the crowd believes him, and the creepy pastor sees a moneymaking opportunity. After Matthew gets thrown in jail for fraud, the pastor comes and bails him out on one condition — he's got to join the pastor in his evil quest for money from gullible religious jerks! Along the way, Matthew becomes a huge deal, being the rock and roll star son of Jesus and all, and the pastor ends up hiring a press agent, played by Casey Kasem! Insanity ensues!

It's one crazy ass fun movie, and one that deserves to be seen more! Fabian is awesome as the singing son of Jesus Christ and Casey Kasem is perfect as the sleazy agent.

The movie's directed by Burt Topper, who also directed The Devil's 8 and The Hard Ride, amongst others. He also produced some awesome movies like Wild in the Streets, Devil's Angels, Thunder Alley, and Fireball 500!

The music's not half bad either. It's all fun fake Christian music, and perhaps that's why I love it. I sure do love me some fake Christian music. The songs and score are written by Harley Hatcher, who also wrote music for The Wild Angels, Kelly's Heroes, and another weird Casey Kasem movie that I've written about here before, Wild Wheels!

All the music is performed by the cast, too, so you're in for a lot more groovy Fabian-ness!

Like the Girl in Gold Boots pressbook, the Soul Hustler book contains a few pre-written articles that theaters were supposed to send to newspapers! Obviously my favorite of these is the one about the blasphemous nature of the film —

Well, there you go. The Soul Hustler is a really interesting early 70s cult film that definitely deserves to be rediscovered! While it's essentially a low budget B-Movie, it's well made and has a great message.  Fabian is actually really awesome in the movie, and the music is fun!

As always, you can CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC™ PHOTO EMIGGENER®!!

You can download the Soul Hustler pressbook and soundtrack HERE!!

Aaaaaaand if you wanna give the actual film a shot, which I highly suggest, you can purchase the VHS over at Amazon... or you can just watch it on this semi-legal interwebsite.


Saturday, April 13, 2013

Darkwing Duck - High Wave Robbery (Cassette & Storybook)

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know. I've been gone for a llllllllllloooooooonnnnnnggggggg time. 

But don't blame me! If anything, you should blame love... and whiskey... and Mai Tais...

Anywhoo, now that that's all over, I can finally get back to what really matters in my life — pants baskets! Uhhh... I mean BLOGGING!!

Today's magical blog of magicalness is the Darkwing Duck cassette and storybook, High Wave Robbery!

As you can see from the super groovy cover, this is an action packed thrill ride with motorcycles and fire and smoke and crazy-eyed Launchpads!

Well actually, it's just an episode of Darkwing Duck that wasn't good enough to actually be animated.

Also, I don't remember having FREE TRADING CARDS INSIDE... I feel gypped.

I enjoy this thing a whole heck of a lot. I can't even count how many times I've listened to this tape in my life. As a kid, I was OBSESSED with this thing. And to be perfectly honest, I still am.

The story concerns an evil supervillian named Frequencia who uses crazy loud sounds, or frequencies (GENIUS), to put people into a daze, and rob them while they are stuck in said daze. Darkwing Duck, of course, comes to save the day and... well, he saves the day. What else would he do?

It's a pretty awesome story.

Also, there's lots of puns. Like the names "Mrs. Rockefeather" and "Mooselangelo".

God, I love animal related puns.

Frequencia is a pretty cool lookin' supervillian too, if you ask me. I would've loved to see her in animated action, robbing people at movie premieres and art galleries! Dangit, Disney! Just start the Disney Afternoon all over again! I promise I'll pretend like the last 19 years of Disney Afternoon withdrawal never happened!

This episode ends with a BLORT — one of my favorite onomatopoeias. 

Yep. I sure do love BLORTs.

The voice acting on this story is obviously super awesome, as it includes all of the original cast from the TV show — Jim Cummings, Terrance McGovern, and Christine Cavanaugh.

The narration is great too... God, I wish I sounded as cool as William Woodson! I mean, he was the narrator for the All-New Super Friends Hour!!

Also, he dubbed someone in Brian De Palma's Bonfire of the Vanities, not that that matters, or anything... even though Brian De Palma has recently become my second favorite director of all time... but that's for another post altogether.

Let's just say that I've watched Body Double 16 times in the past four months, and leave it at that... at least for now...

Oh boy.

ANYWAYS, you can download the Darkwing Duck cassette and storybook of High Wave Robbery HERE!

And, as always, you can CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC™ PHOTO EMBIGGENER®!!


Friday, November 2, 2012

The Girl in Gold Boots Memorabilia (Part 6 of 3)

Oh, just accept it. There will never be an end to the Girl in Gold Boots memorabilia.

The record is by harmonica guy Danny Welton, who also did the theme song from Looking for Mr. Goodbar

This record includes two instrumental/incidental songs from the "soundtract"... ALL OF THE SINGLES SPELL "SOUNDTRACK" WRONG!!

The track "Julie" is the full length version of the "A New Companion" track from the earlier soundtrack, so this replaces that one on the "soundtract".

I can't figure out where the song "Stroblights" is in the film, but then again, it might not be in the finished film so I just tacked it on at the end.


Seriously, what is up with this misspelling conspiracy?!

You can download the updated version of the Girl in Gold Boots Soundtrack HERE.