Darkwing Duck - High Wave Robbery (Cassette & Storybook)

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know. I've been gone for a llllllllllloooooooonnnnnnggggggg time. 

But don't blame me! If anything, you should blame love... and whiskey... and Mai Tais...

Anywhoo, now that that's all over, I can finally get back to what really matters in my life — pants baskets! Uhhh... I mean BLOGGING!!

Today's magical blog of magicalness is the Darkwing Duck cassette and storybook, High Wave Robbery!

As you can see from the super groovy cover, this is an action packed thrill ride with motorcycles and fire and smoke and crazy-eyed Launchpads!

Well actually, it's just an episode of Darkwing Duck that wasn't good enough to actually be animated.

Also, I don't remember having FREE TRADING CARDS INSIDE... I feel gypped.

I enjoy this thing a whole heck of a lot. I can't even count how many times I've listened to this tape in my life. As a kid, I was OBSESSED with this thing. And to be perfectly honest, I still am.

The story concerns an evil supervillian named Frequencia who uses crazy loud sounds, or frequencies (GENIUS), to put people into a daze, and rob them while they are stuck in said daze. Darkwing Duck, of course, comes to save the day and... well, he saves the day. What else would he do?

It's a pretty awesome story.

Also, there's lots of puns. Like the names "Mrs. Rockefeather" and "Mooselangelo".

God, I love animal related puns.

Frequencia is a pretty cool lookin' supervillian too, if you ask me. I would've loved to see her in animated action, robbing people at movie premieres and art galleries! Dangit, Disney! Just start the Disney Afternoon all over again! I promise I'll pretend like the last 19 years of Disney Afternoon withdrawal never happened!

This episode ends with a BLORT — one of my favorite onomatopoeias. 

Yep. I sure do love BLORTs.

The voice acting on this story is obviously super awesome, as it includes all of the original cast from the TV show — Jim Cummings, Terrance McGovern, and Christine Cavanaugh.

The narration is great too... God, I wish I sounded as cool as William Woodson! I mean, he was the narrator for the All-New Super Friends Hour!!

Also, he dubbed someone in Brian De Palma's Bonfire of the Vanities, not that that matters, or anything... even though Brian De Palma has recently become my second favorite director of all time... but that's for another post altogether.

Let's just say that I've watched Body Double 16 times in the past four months, and leave it at that... at least for now...

Oh boy.

ANYWAYS, you can download the Darkwing Duck cassette and storybook of High Wave Robbery HERE!

And, as always, you can CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC™ PHOTO EMBIGGENER®!!

Enjoy!

The Darkwing Duck Buttons/Pins (Part 2)

Welcome to PART 2, and the last part of the Darkwing Duck pins/buttons/what-have-you!

First off, we've got your basic Disney Channel promo pin. Wow. Exciting.

Second, we've got a Megavolt pin! This one rules.

STORYTIME!! One time, I ran into Dan Castellaneta at a movie theater, and when I talked to him, I told him my favorite character of his was Megavolt and he got all freaked out, because everybody is all "HOMER SIMPSON" at him all the time. He spoke in Megavolt's voice at me and asked me politely to "shut up, dimbulb". It was AWESOME.

Next up, we've got a Disney Club pin from France! Why is he called Myster Mask in France? I have no idea.

Last, but certainly not least, we have the amazing, super cool, and super rare Double O Duck pin! Now, you may be saying to yourself, "Wait a gosh darn minute. This is supposed to be Darkwing Duck pins/buttons/what-have-you! Not Double O Duck, whoever the heck that is! I demand an apology, good sir!" Well guess what... YOU'RE WRONG!! Double O Duck is the original Darkwing Duck!! KAPOW!!

Apparently the "Double O" term is a copyright of the people who own the James Bond franchise, and wouldn't let Disney use the "Double O" in their character's name. Either that, or they charged too much. I'm okay with that.

This is a really, really early (and kind of weird) design of the character, and he's obviously based off the model sheet for Donald Duck... even though the show was originally conceived as a spinoff of a DuckTales episode with the title "Double O Duck", starring the Launchpad character. Confusing, I know.

This pin was originally given out at a press conference/stockholder event for Disney, where they were promoting all their new shows in development. All I can say is THANK GOD they changed the character to Darkwing Duck.

If you're so inclined, you can watch the "Double O Duck" episode of DuckTales below!!

The Darkwing Duck Buttons/Pins (Part 1)

And so here we are, falling back into the abyss of my gigantronomic Darkwing Duck collection, with the first part of my accumulation of DW related buttons/pins/what-have-you.

First off, we've got your generic "time-to-promote-the-show-oh-crap-what-do-we-do-okay-here's-an-idea-let's-make-buttons" button. Cool.

Next, we've got a button from the Disneyland Hotel, which has these Character Dinners where you go eat dinner at the hotel and then Disney characters periodically interrupt your dinner and attack you and force you to take pictures with them while you are trying to take a bite out of your club sandwich.

I always liked this model/version of Darkwing Duck. They used it a lot in the old 90s Marvel Comic Books. For some unknown reason though, in this button version, Darkwing is wearing a Pilgrim hat. Alrighty then.

And last, but not least, the Launchpad McQuack button. Because hey, why not?

Stay tuned for even more, rarer, cooler, awesomer, and radicaler Darkwing Duck button/pin thingamajigs!!

Record #79 - Elvis - Original Soundtrack

Today's record is the soundtrack from the John Carpenter TV film ELVIS, starring Kurt Russell... but not sung by Kurt Russell. Because that wouldn't make any sense, now would it?

So this is the soundtrack to the John Carpenter TV movie ELVIS... obviously. This movie was his first released after Halloween and the TV movie Someone's Watching Me!, and was the first time that John Carpenter and Kurt Russell worked together. It's also Kurt Russell's first real grown-up film after making all those hundreds of Disney movies... WHICH I LOVE.

By the way, Now You See Him, Now You Don't is THE BEST. And when I met Kurt Russell that one time I told him how much I loved it, and he looked at me weirdly. I don't blame him.

Of course, after ELVIS, John Carpenter and Kurt Russell made the super groovy movies Escape from New York, Big Trouble in Little China, and Escape from LA. And hopefully they will make MORE MOVIES BECAUSE I WANT MORE MOVIES FROM JOHN CARPENTER AND KURT RUSSELL.

MORE MOOOOOVVVIIIEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!

Anywhoo, the soundtrack is all sung by this guy named Ronnie McDowell, who is a country musician and, apparently, an Elvis impersonator on the side.

Sooooo yeahhh, you should see this movie. You can get it on DVD and watch all 3 hours of it! Do iiiittttt.

And you can download the soundtrack HERE.

Book #8691 - Blackbeard's Ghost Comic Book

Today's thing of interest to nobody else but me is the comic book novelization of my favorite late 60s weird-ass Disney film, Blackbeard's Ghost!

Magical, isn't it?

Well anyways, since I've talked wayyyyyy too much about this movie before, I won't go into the whole detail of the synopsis of the film again, so we'll talk about this crazy comic book!

For some reason, the comic book starts off with a scene that takes place about 15 minutes into the film and then flashbacks to the beginning. Confusarama!

Also, why does Dean Jones' cartoon character version look nothing like him, and exactly like Generic White Guy #993842?

So, the story continues and there's some great panels that show people narrating while something confusing is happening to them -- like this motorcycle cop who is being attacked by the drunken ghost of Blackbeard.

Help! I forgot to take my anti-psychotic medication

and now I can't stop narrating!

Then, randomly a couple pages later, there is a 3 page break in the story for some odd pieces of confusingness that have nothing to do with anything regarding Blackbeard's Ghost! My favorite of these things, though, is this page entitled Jest for Fun, featuring a happy picture of a an overpopulated barrel of monkeys and a bunch of 2-3 line jokes that apparently weren't good enough for a popsicle stick.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program...

So then we are thrown violently back into the story and into a crazy race where Blackbeard is screwing around with everything and helping Godolphin win so that an illegal bet that was made can be collected to help fund an old ladies' hotel. Yippee!! 

Soooooo, they win the race and the guy who runs the illegal gambling parlor who took the illegal bet on the illegal race from the illegal ghost of Blackbeard decides to not pay them their money... which is illegal! 

So the illegal ghost of Blackbeard and Dean Jones and Suzanne Pleshette rush over to the illegal gambling hall and attempt to get their illegal winnings from the illegal Silky Seymour!

And in all the illegal hubbub, this happens...

Hallelujah.

This is my favorite comic book panel of all time. Just pure genius.

So anyways, as you can guess, everything happens in favor of the ghost of Blackbeard and Dean Jones and Godolphin college and the old ladies' hotel thing, so we have our patented Disney happy ending.

Oh, and then we top it all off with this frightening advertisement for Golden Magazine.

Is Cracky on crack? Tune in next week to find out!

You can download the Blackbeard's Ghost comic book HERE!

Arrrrrrr!

Article #794158 - The Darkwing Duck Watch

Today's item is one of my all-time favorite things - the Darkwing Duck watch.

I can't believe someone would want a Rolex when a watch like this exists.

I've probably had 5 of these watches over the past 20 years, destroying every single one of them from overuse. I just love these things with a firey passion. I stopped wearing them a couple years ago, just because I couldn't stand the thought of killing any more!

Poor mutilated DW watch...

See?! It's terribly sad to see my old Darkwing Duck watch like that... the tears are coming!!

Besides the super coolness of the watch, the art for the box is pretty awesome too! I wish they would make stuff like this again. Oh well, I guess.

A REAL WATCH

Enjoy, and don't forget to be careful when you're getting dangerous!

Article #32127 - The Darkwing Duck Scripts (Part 4 of 4)

Well, here we are at the end of the Darkwing Duck script collection. Lucky for you, though, we have barely even scratched the surface of my Darkwing Duck collection! Oh yes.

Today's script is for one of the best episodes of the entire series, "The Darkwing Squad". In this episode, J. Gander Hooter decides that Darkwing needs to train S.H.U.S.H.'s best (aka nerdiest) agents to be more like the daringly dashing Darkwing. Of course, Gryzlikoff hates this idea, but if we let him be the boss of this whole operation, then we wouldn't have this episode, which would lead to not having this script, which would lead to not having this blog entry!

*GASP*

Thank God Gryzlikoff isn't in charge.

For the rest of the episode, while Darkwing trains the bumbling agents, the evil supervillian Steelbeak takes advantage of Gryzlikoff's anger at the situation to recruit him to F.O.W.L. for his prolific plot against humanity! Of course, then it's The Darkwing Squad to the rescue!

Oh, by the way, The Darkwing Squad contains Darkwing Donkey, Darkwing Dog, Darkwing Deer, and Darkwing Dodo.

Woo hoo!

Wait… that's DuckTales… Uh, LET'S GET DANGEROUS!!

Yeah, that's right.

Unfortunately, unlike Dirty Money, this script doesn't have a storybook based on it. Sadness. But, fortunately for us all, the episode is available on the second volume of Darkwing Duck DVDs. YIPEE!

Orrrrr you can watch it below!

Download the script for "The Darkwing Squad" HERE.

Enjoy!

Record #1970 - Paul Frees and the Poster People

Today's record is the musical/comedy album Paul Frees and the Poster People by the grooviest ghost host in the galaxy, Paul Frees! (Thank you, Captain Obvious)

Paul Frees was an amazing voice-over (and sometimes screen) actor who got his start, like most people of that time, in radio. He did a lot of announcing and narration, as well as voices on tons of anthology shows. He was excellent at impersonations (as you'll hear later), and was called on to do dubbing for certain films, sometimes completely replacing the whole dialogue!

He worked for most of the big studios, most famously doing the voice of Boris Badenov on Rocky & Bullwinkle, but his talents were utilized most often by Disney. He did voices for their films and TV shows, narrating the Man in Space series, The Nine Lives of Elfego Baca, and he also created the voice of Professor Ludwig Von Drake!

Disney Imagineering seems to love his voice, since he can be heard in pretty much every single early Disney attraction. He did voices for The Enchanted Tiki Room, Pirates of the Caribbean, Adventure Thru Inner Space (MAGNIFICATION), and his most popular, and my favorite, the Ghost Host of The Haunted Mansion.

He did write and direct one film himself -- "The Beatniks". It's… um… not very good… BUT it is entertaining enough to have been featured on one of the best episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000, so it's got that going for it!

Now, on to the record!

What makes this record awesome to me, is that it includes two things that I love immensely -- 60s pop music and crazy celebrity impersonations. YES!

The whole thing is fun to listen to, but the highlights for me are definitely the W.C. Fields version of "Mama Told Me Not To Come", the Sidney Greenstreet version of "Sugar, Sugar" (like, the best song EVER), and the Peter Lorre version of "Hey Jude".

If you can't find this fun, then you obviously have no soul.

Now, if Iris will finally shut up, give it a listen, and enjoy Paul Frees and the Poster People!

Download the album HERE.

Article #32125 & 6 - The Darkwing Duck Scripts (Part 3 of 4) & Storybook

I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the script-owning scourge that squeegees my way into your soul! I am.... DARKWIIIIINNNNGGG DUCK!

Well, not really, but that was my half-assed attempt at being as awesome as the Darkwing Duck writers. Anywhoo, welcome to part THREE of my collection of Darkwing Duck scripts!

Today's script is entitled "Dirty Money" and features one of the rarest (and strangest) Darkwing Duck villains ever - the F.O.W.L. neat freak, Ammonia Pine. Puns are awesome.

In this episode, the evil Ammonia Pine (who turned to evil after "an accident with an experimental bathroom disinfectant") is breaking into banks, literally cleaning out the vaults by removing the ink off the dollar bills. Oh, and not even 10 pages in, and she sucks the head of S.H.U.S.H., J. Gander Hooter, up into her vacuum. I love it.

This, of course, leaves Gryzlikoff in charge, annoying Darkwing to no end - especially when Gryzlikoff runs him through an insane amount of "training". Cue the hilarious sitcom-type humor!

This episode was also turned into a kid's storybook, which I also own... obviously. The book has the slightly, yet completely different title of "Clean Money". Freakin' genius.

You can download the PDF of the "Dirty Money" script HERE.

This episode is available on Vol. 1 of the Darkwing Duck DVDs, ooooorrrrrrrrr you can watch it below!

Enjoy!

Record #53 - The Story of The Love Bug

Today we've got another entry in the everlasting plethora of my Disney collection. Now, submitted for your approval, here is The Story of The Love Bug!

In the film The Love Bug, a washed-up race car driver, Jim Douglas and his pal Tennessee stumble upon a Volkswagen bug named Herbie in a fancy European car showroom, run by the horrible, evil, murdering, villainous monster El Guap… I mean, Mr. Thorndyke! Apparently this car has a mind of its own and follows Jim home! They discover that he is incredibly fast for a tiny car, purchase him from Mr. Thorndyke, and decide to enter him into a race! When Mr. Thorndyke hears of this, he decides that he wants Herbie back, and will do anything to make that happen! And, just as usual, hilarity ensues. God, I love that phrase.

The movie spawned four sequels (including the Lindsay Lohan one, yuck), as well as a 5-episode TV spin-off and a made-for-TV remake starring Bruce Campbell.

Oh, and it was the second highest grossing US film of 1969. Kablammo! Take that, Paint Your Wagon!

Now... onto the record!

Like the The Story of Blackbeard's Ghost before it, the album The Story of The Love Bug is narrated by a character from the movie. This time, it's narrated by Buddy Hackett as his character Tennessee! Although they are similar, it is very different from the Blackbeard's Ghost record, as this has newly recorded dialogue not performed by any of the other original actors from the film. Oh well. They can't all be winners.

Now, unlike the movie which is fun and hilarious, this record is kind of awkward and just plain weird. The guy who plays Dean Jones' character in the original film sounds nothing like him, and obviously doesn't get that the character is supposed to be a little neurotic. You know, kind of like every Dean Jones character.

In another odd choice, the guy who was cast as the villainous British guy Mr. Thorndyke was the super All-American Dallas McKennon. He is probably best known as the voice of the safety spiel on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad Disney attraction, as well as Gumby and Pokey! In this record, he plays Mr. Thorndyke completely unlike David Tomlinson, and almost as a version of Dick Dastardly from Wacky Races. Although strange, it's kind of entertaining, considering this story has a lot of Wacky Races-esque situations.

Confusingly, the narration by the usually hyper and humorous Buddy Hackett is really really really really strange and kind of lethargic. It even borders along creepy at times. Especially the last line of the record. Sends shivers down my spine… blechhhh.

And last but not least, what would something from the 1960s be without some politically incorrect humor?! The portrayal of the Chinese character Mr. Woo, who ends up owning Herbie halfway through the story, is incredibly revolting, and probably pretty racist too. Eeeeek.

Now, onto the good, non-racisty stuff!!

One of the coolest things about these story records is that a handful of them include story books attached to them! The Story of The Love Bug is one of those, and has 11 pages full of super groovy art! It's bright and colorful, and does a great job capturing the scenes from the movie.

Now, please enjoy the laughter, love, and lexcitement (I couldn't think of another "L" word) of The Story of The Love Bug! And remember my friends, when buying a used car, always look under the hood for whipped cream.

*Sigh* I want a Herbie...

Download the album, along with all the storybook art HERE.

Record #1968 - The Story of Blackbeard's Ghost

In honor of (almost) Halloween, today's record is the (sort of) Halloween-related album -- The Story of Blackbeard's Ghost, featuring Peter Ustinov. HEY! There's a ghost! Ghost = Halloween. Deal with it, you batty beatniks!

The film, Blackbeard's Ghost is probably my favorite Disney movie. It's just another movie that I absolutely love, but can't explain exactly why. It's definitely got something to do with the oddness of Peter Ustinov though...

Blackbeard's Ghost is the story of Steve, played by Dean Jones, who moves to the small town of Godolphin to become the new track coach at the college. When he arrives, he stumbles upon a charity auction to save Blackbeard's Inn (where he is staying) from an evil casino owner (are all casino owners evil, or is that just in the movies?). He ends up winning an antique bed warmer in the auction, but when he gets up to his room, he accidentally sits on it, breaking it in half. Inside, he finds an old book of magic spells that used to belong to Blackbeard's wife. He reads one of the spells, unknowingly conjuring up Blackbeard himself, played perfectly by Peter Ustinov. Because of the spell, Steve and Blackbeard are now bonded by magic, and Blackbeard will remain in limbo (and with Steve) until he completes one good deed. All the while, Steve tries to bring his losing track team to the top, and win over a psychology professor played by Suzanne Pleshette. Hilarity ensues. No, really. It does! I'm really not kidding this time! I swear! WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?!?

This movie is just crazy fun. Blackbeard is basically one very big, drunk kid who has fun using his invisibility just to screw around with people and make Dean Jones go insane.

As with most older Disney movies, this one has a story album. Since they obviously didn't have the option of releasing a VHS tape or a DVD of their movies for home, they would release these story albums, usually with an accompanying book, to keep the films in the kids' heads until they were re-released in theaters after a few years.

The Story of Blackbeard's Ghost is different from all the rest, as this one is not just narrated by some nameless, faceless, freaky, generic-y voice-over guy -- this is narrated by Peter Ustinov in character as Blackbeard! It is a little odd to listen to at times, especially when they use sound clips from the actual movie, but hearing Peter Ustinov narrate in character as our drunken friend Blackbeard is surely entertaining enough to keep your interest through the whole story!

Now, this film is available on DVD, but I warn you, the transfer is the most horrifyingly hideous DVD transfer I have ever seen. It really looks like they transfered a copy of the film that someone had forgotten under their couch for 40 years. To top it all off, it's not even framed right, and there is even a part where a talking character's face is only half visible on the screen! Stupid crappiness of the DVDness.

Blackbeard always smiles

before he kills someone for releasing

a bad DVD of a great movie.

Hopefully, the atrociousness of the DVD won't keep you from enjoying this record of The Story of Blackbeard's Ghost! Have fun, and... Arrrr! (That's Piratespeak for "Enjoy!")

Download the record HERE.

Record #604 - The Bob Crane/Pat Buttram Record

Today we've got a promotional compilation album of classic radio personalities Bob Crane and Pat Buttram entitled "Laffter Sweet and Profane". Alrighty then. As you most assuredly know, both of these guys went on to bigger careers, and I shall fill you in with all the Trivial Pursuit-ish information that you will never find any use for. After all, that's what this blog is all about. Duh.

Side one of this record is entitled "Extricated from a 5-Year Shambles Caused by Bob Crane". Now, this side is actually pretty entertaining. It's basically (well, exactly) a compilation of the best of Bob Crane's morning radio show. You get cigarette commercials, banter with the crazy co-hosts and producers, and the best part of the whole thing -- an improv scene with Jonathan Winters.

Bob Crane was, as you'll hear, a really superly duperly awesome radio show host. The format they used for the show was insanely ahead of its time, and that's probably why he was so popular. In fact, it was the number one rated morning show in Los Angeles and he was known as "The King of the Los Angeles Airwaves". Take THAT, whoever-the-heck-is-number-one-on-the-radio-now!

He was also an accomplished drummer, and sat in with many great jazz musicians on his show, as well as playing with them as the special guest drummer in club shows. Check out this video of him drumming along to "These Boots are Made for Walking" while some crazy dancers attempt to dance!!

Eventually he moved on from radio and into TV with spots on The Twilight Zone, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, and the Dick Van Dyke Show. This led to him starring as Col. Hogan on Hogan's Heroes, which was extremely popular and ran for 6 years.

Unfortunately, after Hogan's Heroes, he couldn't find too many jobs. He did become the star of a TV series called The Bob Crane Show (how the heck they came up with that brilliant title, I'll never know), but that only lasted one season. He did get some parts in a couple of the most obscure Disney movies, starring in "Superdad" and a cameo in "Gus" - a Don Knotts movie about a football-kicking mule. Yep, you read that right. The 70s weren't really a high point for Disney (minus the awesome Kurt Russell/Cesar Romero movie, "Now You See Him, Now You Don't"). Other than guest-starring bits on TV, he wasn't really able to find too much work, so he resorted to traveling around the country performing in dinner theaters.

On one of his dinner theater stints in Scottsdale, Arizona, he was murdered as he was sleeping in his hotel room - apparently being face-crushed by a camera tripod. The murder, which occurred wayyyyy back in 1978, is still unsolved. He supposedly led an (how do I say this politely…) interesting lifestyle in his later years. Yeah. Uh… just look it up... I won't go any further. This is a family blog, after all! His life is documented in the book and movie "Auto-Focus", and both are really awesome, if I do say so myself (and I do).

Now, away from the creepy, murdery, death stuff, and on to Pat Buttram!!

Side two of this record is entitled "Excerpted from the Triumphant Toastmaster of Pat Buttram". Of course everybody needs a toastmaster. One of the main ingredients of any good party is a toastmaster, and when your party is the Democratic or the Republican party or the Friars Club, you apparently hire puberty-voice himself, the triumphant toastmaster, Pat Buttram.

Now, as we said before, the title of this album is "Laffter Sweet and Profane". Unfortunately for Pat Buttram, there really isn't too much "laffter". It's definitely not sweet. Technically speaking, it's not very profane, either. This is just… odd, and maybe a little politically incorrect. His toasts (if you can even call them that) are sufficiently abundant of really, really, really corny jokes. Some almost as bad as those dreadful "Take my wife, please" jokes. By far the best part of this side of the record is towards the end when Jack Benny shows up for like 30 seconds. Oh wait, um… SPOILER AL… meh, who cares.

Pat Buttram (a man saddled with one of the most unfortunate last names of all time) was originally known as the sidekick to Roy Rogers, then later, Gene Autry. He moved into TV along with Gene Autry, and kept moving forward from there onto Green Acres as Mr. Haney. He was known for his voice that he described as "never quite made it through puberty".

Because of that crackly voice, he was often used in animated films, and especially a lot of Disney movies. He was the Sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood, Chief in The Fox and the Hound, one of the bullets in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and my favorite (and his last role), the old Possum Park animatronic show presenter in A Goofy Movie.

Finally, we come to the end of a plentiferous plethora of useless information, and to the part where you can download the record. Have a grand old time!

Download it HERE.

And just because I love you, here's an educational short entitled "Patriotism" featuring America's greatest patriot, Bob Crane. Woo!!

Article #32124 - The Darkwing Duck Scripts (Part 2 of 4)

Today is the 20th anniversary of the premiere of Darkwing Duck. I remember coming home from school every day, running straight to the TV and turning on the Disney Afternoon to watch my favorite show. I credit Darkwing Duck with being the biggest influence on my sense of humor, and even as I still watch it today, I laugh just like I did when I was 6 years old. I still love it, and I still miss it. Also, I feel really, really old.

Today, I bring you the second of the four Darkwing Duck scripts. This one's from the episode "Disguise the Limit". In this episode, Darkwing gets ZAPPED by another one of Dr. Sara Bellum's (puns!) ray guns, which makes Darkwing transform over and over into duplicates of other people, including this week's villain, NEGADUCK!! Hilarity ensues!

Download the "Disguise the Limit" script HERE!

This episode is available on the second volume of Darkwing Duck DVDs, buuut if you don't have it, check it out below!

Article #32123 - The Darkwing Duck Scripts (Part 1 of 4)

Today, we've got the first of my collection of four Darkwing Duck scripts. I purchased these teleplays about a year ago, from eBay, just thinking they were another awesome thing to add to my always growing Darkwing Duck collection. Little did I know, these scripts belonged to Ron Feinberg, the voice of S.H.U.S.H. (the secret spy organization Darkwing sometimes worked for) agent Grizzlikof!

Ron Feinberg was a character actor who, before moving to voice acting primarily, guest starred on many classic shows, such as Mission: Impossible, Hawaii Five-O, and the classically forgotten caveman sitcom, It's About Time!

All four of these scripts are obviously Grizzlikof-featuring episodes, and in fact are some of my favorites. Today's script is for "Bad Tidings", a Batman meets I Love Lucy style episode where Grizzlikof and Darkwing have to put their differences aside to stop Steelbeak (my favorite Darkwing Duck villain) and his evil organization F.O.W.L. (the Fiendish Organization for World Larceny) from conquering the world with their tidal wave machine. Yep. A TIDAL WAVE MACHINE. God, I love cartoons.

DOWNLOAD THE PDF OF THE "BAD TIDINGS" SCRIPT HERE

Sadly, this episode isn't available on DVD (YET!!), but here's the YouTube links to watch as you read along!

Enjoy!

Article #457 - The Darkwing Duck Bus Sign

"I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the batteries that are not included! I am Darkwiiiiiinnnng Duck!"

Today we have something extremely rare and super awesome - The Darkwing Duck Bus Sign.

As I've said before, I believe I have the world's largest Darkwing Duck collection, and if you don't believe me after seeing this, then you are in denial and must consult your local therapist.

Now if I know you (and I think I do), you must think I'm crazy because I own a bus sign. A Darkwing Duck bus sign, no less. But don't worry! As far as I know it was never actually ON a bus. So, maybe I'm not as insane as you may think. Or maybe I am...? Dun dun DUNNNNNNNNN. The plot thickens!

The thing that makes this so ultimately groovalicious to me though, is that it is a full size (5 feet x 2 feet) bus sign and signed by the voice of Darkwing and voice over god, Jim Cummings!

ENJOY!

CLICK on the photo to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC PHOTO EMBIGGENER®!!

Book #1129 - The TV Facts Magazine

Today we've got an awesome TV Facts magazine from the week of November 29-December 5, 1981.

Yes, of course it's got Loni Anderson on the cover! Why wouldn't it?!

By far, my favorite thing about magazines from the past, are the advertisements. Like this one - an ad featuring EVA GABOR WIGS. God, I love wigs.

You know, every time I pick up an old magazine, I get annoyed with all the stuff that I missed.

Especially this one called Disneylandia. Apparently, it's an episode of the awesome Disneyland or Wonderful World of Color shows, in Spanish.

Now, knowing me, I'd totally be switching the channels during the Disneylandia commercials to try to multi-watch Happy Days Again, Laverne and Shirley and Friends, Hogan's Heroes, Tic Tac Dough, Match Game, and The Muppet Show. It'd be a tiring hour of television, but I think I could do it. And oh, how happy I would be!

Of course, we can't forget those late night movies. God, there are so many great movie listings in here, but one stands above the rest…

Yes! The epic Don Knotts and Tim Conway movie, "Private Eyes"!! Why can't TV be this awesome now? Sigh…

Well, if you're wondering where you can pick up a copy, well…

…or you can just download this awesome time capsule of television HERE.

Enjoy!

Article #321 - The Darkwing Duck Mask

In my first post, I claimed to have the largest Darkwing Duck collection in the known universe. I assure you, I am not kidding.

Even as my taste in films and television has changed, Darkwing Duck has always been one show that I can watch and always find hilarious. As a child, I laughed at the all of the Batman references and classic Looney Tunes-esque cartoon humor. As an adult, I've discovered that it is quite possibly the funniest and most cleverly written cartoon of all time. Here are 2 examples:

Example #1 In what other kid's cartoon would you hear any villain utter the diabolically decadent line "If the neo-postmodernist backlash hadn't caught pre-antirealism in it's wake you'd be sitting pretty!"?

Example #2 In what other kid's show would you see an episode completely dedicated to be a parody of David Lynch's Twin Peaks entitled "Twin Beaks" complete with a villain "dead, wrapped in plastic", 100s of "log ladies", and title sequence parody?

Seriously, it's my favorite show of all time, and ever since Darkwing Duck premiered in 1991, I've had an unhealthy obsession with all things DW. Luckily for me, my mom and grandmother supported the heck out of this obsession. I literally own everything and by everything, I mean EVERY-FREAKING-THING Darkwing Duck related. Some are really awesome and some are just plain weird and obsessive-like. This is one of those weird and obsessive ones.

In 1993, the Disney Afternoon was at the height of its popularity. There was Ducktales, TaleSpin, Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers, Gummi Bears, and of course (in my humble opinion) the best one of all, Darkwing Duck. And it was pretty dang popular, I mean there were action figures, watches, video games, underwear, t-shirts, shorts, fanny packs, cereal boxes, board games, lunchboxes, video tapes, trading cards, collectible stickers... basically everything that you can milk out of a kid's television show was taken advantage of. That same year, there was the unforgettable Disney Afternoon on Iceshow. There weren't too many shows, and if you try Googling it, you won't find anything. No pictures, no merchandise, no programs - NOTHING!!

One night, my dad came home from work and picked up my mom, my friend Christa, and I and surprised us by taking us to the Disney Afternoon on Ice. The only thing I really remember from the actual show is seeing DW as he skated by, and waving to me, and as awesome as that memory may be, it's definitely not as cool as this semi-creepy Darkwing Duck mask sold only at the very few shows that were put on by the Disney Afternoon on Ice.

I DARE you to find another one of these on the interweb. You can't. I assure you.

I leave you now with a hilariously bad-yet-great cover of the Darkwing Duck theme song.