The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 16 of 16)

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the end... this is the end of the Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comics.

We've been through a lot together, and I don't know about you, but I've learned a lot. I've learned that 2 seconds of chicken screams are perfect nightmare fuel. I've learned how to cheat at basketball. I've learned that puppies are perfect tools for closing overstuffed suitcases. I've learned that finding oil is "durned bad luck". Most importantly though, I've learned what to say when I'm stuck in the car wash and having a psychotic episode/stroke.

Today, though, the learning ends. And what better way to close out this collegiate experience than with a Wacky Races slide comic? 

THERE IS NO BETTER WAY.

So, it comes to this. Our final Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comic is from the files of Wacky Races and is entitled "Bridge Out".

In the first panel we see our old psychotic friend Penelope Pitstop, the evil Dick Dastardly, and those spooky Munster-like people coming to a closed road because of a downed bridge. They seem very disappointed about this as evidenced by their exclamation of "WELL THAT ENDS THE RACE".

That one Munster-y/Addams Familyish guy wants to know where could they "SCARE UP A BRIDGE". 

HA. I get it.

Then, some Paul Bunyan guy in a wooden car with his pet Beaver come plowing through shouting through his teeth...

"MAKE WAY FOR THE BUZZ WAGON"

Paul Bunyan then plows through a bunch of green pine trees (and one blue one), knocking them over, and chopping them up, destroying entire ecosystems in a few short blows.

Apparently he seems to have constructed a bridge out of trees that used to be bird and chipmunk houses, and some professor in his (or her) helicopter car thingy takes it away.

The ever-smiling Paul Bunyany man and his Beaver are left behind to "CATCH UP" as everybody else Wacky Races along across the freshly laid bridge.

Aaaaaaand scene. Bow, hold for applause.

Thank you, and good night.

And good riddance to you stupid, dumb, evil, Satanic, poopy, and just plain idiotic Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comics!!

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The end.

For now...

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 15 of 16)

We are ONE comic away from being done with these things, so be excited.

DO IT.

BE EXCITED, DANG IT!!

Okay, well since you're obviously not going to be excited we'll just get on with the program.

Today's fantastical comic stars the Wacky Racer Penelope Pitstop in the sad story "Soggy Setback".

So, Penelope and those 3 little tiny mobster guys are driving along and decide to stop at some random car wash in the middle of nowhere.

Hmm… seems legit.

As soon as they drive in, some weird purple guy wearing a mask and purple cape and hat slams the door, locking them in!

He turns on the faucet and laughs very Nelson-ish.

"GOODBYE, PESTS! HAW HAW!"

In the next panel, we see the four roadsters up to their legs in water.

Now here's where the story gets weird.

As the water is filling up the car wash, Penelope goes hysterical and says 5 words that make NO SENSE AT ALL --

"QUICK POCKETS CHUGGABOOMS

UNDERWATER ATTACHMENT"

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?! Did she have a stroke?! 

I HAVE NEVER BEEN AS CONFUSED AS I AM RIGHT NOW.

Oh God, I don't even know if I can finish this...

I just have so many questions…

Okay, okay. I can do this. I can do this. Breathe, Jeremy. Breathe.

*Phew*

Well, after having some sort of demon possessed moment, Penelope hits the gas and KRAKs right through the door and over the weird purple guy.

As Penelope and the three mobster dudes drive away, the weird purple guy sits there and laments that "THE CLAW'S PLAN IS ALL WASHED UP!". Oh. I guess the weird purple guy's name is THE CLAW. Just erase the name "weird purple guy" up there and replace it with THE CLAW. That'll work. I'm too lazy to fix it. Blah.

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Now, pass the Excedrin. My brain hurts. And I'm sure Penelope's does too.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 14 of 16)

Since this is my 50th post, I'm feeling kind of lazy, so I'm going to do the bare minimum.

Hold onto your hats.

This is a comic. It has Mighty Mouse. It is called "Magnetic Personality". Oh, the fun.

Some mice are going to a picnic in a helicopter. Why? I don't know, and frankly, I don't want to know.

Some cat has a magnet and talks to himself.

Lightningy magnetism strikes the helicopter.

HUMMMMM

The cat uses the magnet to make the helicopter "COME TO PAPA".

I don't know how he knows evil is happening, but out of the blue (well, actually out of the green) Mighty Mouse comes to save the day by SNATCHing the magnet from the cat. 

The cat runs away and then WHOOSH, Mighty Mouse throws the magnet at the cat.

The magnet knocks the cat on the ground and pins him to the ground while stars and what appears to be a sparkler bounce on his brain barrier (his head).

The end.

Now, let's all join in a silent prayer to thank the sweet Lloyd that there are only 2 more of these crapfests left.

CLICK on the photo(s) to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC PHOTO EMBIGGENER®. 

Or don't. Whatever.

Don't enjoy this one.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 13 of 16)

 Okay. Here we go again. SLIDE COMICS. Oh come on, you know you love it.

Today's Give-a-Show stars those crazy carnivores Motormouse & Autocat in the profound potboiler "Oops!"

Autocat's NEW RADAR SUCTION HARPOOON IS READY! Yes! Finally! I mean, the 1970 model was great, but dang, this 1971 model sure is far out!

BEEP

Motormouse speeds on by on some sort of motorbikecycle!

ZZZT!

Then, Autocat who kind of resembles Heathcliff, sets his suction harpoon to retrieve anything on a motorcycle. YES! Finally, some action in these things.

KaBLOOEY

The suction harpoon explodes and flies across apartment buildings… and my favorite restaurant -- EAT!!

Looks like Autocat's caught something! He reeeeeeeels it in!

CRANK CRANK

"Oops!".

HEY!! THAT'S WHERE THE TITLE CAME FROM!! NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE!! (No it doesn't)

BEEP (again)

Oh, hilarity ensued and Autocat has harpooned a police bike. HA.

As Autocat is hauled away to jail in a paddywagon, Motormouse ZOW's by just to taunt him.

So as we all can see, the exploits of Motormouse & Autocat are just a step below (or above, your pick) Tom & Jerry.

The end.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 12 of 16)

Once again, we come back to the Kenner Give-a-Show slide comics. I'm starting to feel like I don't even need to preface these things anymore. I mean, they are all absolutely horrid, I'm just wasting my time trying to hype these up. Well, here we go...

Today's comic features the fantastical, magical, super crantabulous Cattanooga Cats in the criminially crappy chronicle, "Case Closed".

In the first panel, we see four animals, which I assume to be the titular Cattanooga Cats in some sort of red room with blue floor. The one with the green hat is reading some sort of telegram or letter or secret self-destructing note that indicates that "THEY" want them to play in "THE CITY".

I don't know who "THEY" are, or what "CITY" they are talking about, and frankly I don't care.

Next, we find them packing their suitcases with vigor. I don't know about you, but when I pack for a trip, I usually don't throw my polka-dot pants in the air and expect them to magically find their way to my suitcase, but maybe that's just me.

In our next panel, an exclamation point haunts the head of the green cat with yellow ears and red ascot (just like Freddy from Scooby-Doo!) while the overstuffed suitcase glows with the glow of a thousand suns.

"LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR PUPPY."

I totally agree.

As evidenced by the question marks hovering around her skull, the girly cat-like thing is confused to "HOW CAN PUPPY HELP?".

COMPITTY CLOMP KLOMP

What I assume to be the aforementioned "PUPPY", comes bolting along.

SKLONCH

The big, fat, blueish, greenish thing pounces on the suitcase, making it visibly fart.

"THANKS PUPPY!"

In the end, the Cattanooga Cats suitcase has been tightened shut, and all is well in all of kitty cat creation.

And so the gang is off on their 7 month tour of "THE CITY", leaving their puppyish thing to fend for himself.

How heartwarming.

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Enjoy!

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 11 of 16)

Ahhhhh yes… the Kenner Give-a-Show slide comics. You can't escape it. Search your feelings, you know it to be true!

I... don't know why I just said that.

Well anyways, here we go again.

Today's comic features that pathetic puddy-tat Sylvester and his evil nemesis, Tweety! Oh, goody.

For some reason, Sylvester and Tweety, who are both well-known domesticated house pets, are entwined in some sort of chase in the forest. THE FOREST. Yeesh... the factual inaccuracies in these comics are becoming more and more obvious.

"I TAWT I TAW A PUDDY TAT!"

Yeah… Well, duh.

HEH HEH

ZOW (hey, that's a new one!) - Sylvester continues to chase Tweety until…

ZIP - Tweety swoops down and into a hollow log. Oh, great. I've seen enough silent movies to know where this is going.

Sylvester chases Tweety into the hollow log, as a butterfly flies around his butt for some unknown reason.

Suddenly, Tweety pops out from a tiny hole in the log, giving a fond farewell to the "puddy". HA! I KNEW IT!

CRUNCK KRASH CRUNK - Out of nowhere, this log decides to roll down the orangey/reddish ground towards a lake or a river or a stream or some sort of body of water.

A fjord? Yeah. I'm gonna say it's a fjord.

In the end, we see Sylvester now frantically floating down this fjord on the hollow log, whilst Tweety taunts him, like the little twerp he is.

THE END.

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Enjoy… I guess.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slides Collection (part 1 of 16)

Today we've got the first of my collection of 16 Kenner Give-A-Show Slides.

If you don't know what a Give-A-Show Slide Projector is, then check this out...

Now, if you haven't already been scared away by the frightening chicken at the end of that commercial screaming "BY KENNER!!!", then you're gonna find the rest of this article pretty cool.

It seems like back in the late 60's, kids could be entertained by, well, pretty much anything -- especially awfully written comic strips of their favorite Hanna-Barbera and Warner Brothers cartoons being projected on their walls!

Today's comic (if you can even call it that) is the Space Kidettes in the hilariously punnified adventure titled "Bone-A-Fide Detective".

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Enjoy!