The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 14 of 16)

Since this is my 50th post, I'm feeling kind of lazy, so I'm going to do the bare minimum.

Hold onto your hats.

This is a comic. It has Mighty Mouse. It is called "Magnetic Personality". Oh, the fun.

Some mice are going to a picnic in a helicopter. Why? I don't know, and frankly, I don't want to know.

Some cat has a magnet and talks to himself.

Lightningy magnetism strikes the helicopter.

HUMMMMM

The cat uses the magnet to make the helicopter "COME TO PAPA".

I don't know how he knows evil is happening, but out of the blue (well, actually out of the green) Mighty Mouse comes to save the day by SNATCHing the magnet from the cat. 

The cat runs away and then WHOOSH, Mighty Mouse throws the magnet at the cat.

The magnet knocks the cat on the ground and pins him to the ground while stars and what appears to be a sparkler bounce on his brain barrier (his head).

The end.

Now, let's all join in a silent prayer to thank the sweet Lloyd that there are only 2 more of these crapfests left.

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Or don't. Whatever.

Don't enjoy this one.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 13 of 16)

 Okay. Here we go again. SLIDE COMICS. Oh come on, you know you love it.

Today's Give-a-Show stars those crazy carnivores Motormouse & Autocat in the profound potboiler "Oops!"

Autocat's NEW RADAR SUCTION HARPOOON IS READY! Yes! Finally! I mean, the 1970 model was great, but dang, this 1971 model sure is far out!

BEEP

Motormouse speeds on by on some sort of motorbikecycle!

ZZZT!

Then, Autocat who kind of resembles Heathcliff, sets his suction harpoon to retrieve anything on a motorcycle. YES! Finally, some action in these things.

KaBLOOEY

The suction harpoon explodes and flies across apartment buildings… and my favorite restaurant -- EAT!!

Looks like Autocat's caught something! He reeeeeeeels it in!

CRANK CRANK

"Oops!".

HEY!! THAT'S WHERE THE TITLE CAME FROM!! NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE!! (No it doesn't)

BEEP (again)

Oh, hilarity ensued and Autocat has harpooned a police bike. HA.

As Autocat is hauled away to jail in a paddywagon, Motormouse ZOW's by just to taunt him.

So as we all can see, the exploits of Motormouse & Autocat are just a step below (or above, your pick) Tom & Jerry.

The end.

Record #1970 - Paul Frees and the Poster People

Today's record is the musical/comedy album Paul Frees and the Poster People by the grooviest ghost host in the galaxy, Paul Frees! (Thank you, Captain Obvious)

Paul Frees was an amazing voice-over (and sometimes screen) actor who got his start, like most people of that time, in radio. He did a lot of announcing and narration, as well as voices on tons of anthology shows. He was excellent at impersonations (as you'll hear later), and was called on to do dubbing for certain films, sometimes completely replacing the whole dialogue!

He worked for most of the big studios, most famously doing the voice of Boris Badenov on Rocky & Bullwinkle, but his talents were utilized most often by Disney. He did voices for their films and TV shows, narrating the Man in Space series, The Nine Lives of Elfego Baca, and he also created the voice of Professor Ludwig Von Drake!

Disney Imagineering seems to love his voice, since he can be heard in pretty much every single early Disney attraction. He did voices for The Enchanted Tiki Room, Pirates of the Caribbean, Adventure Thru Inner Space (MAGNIFICATION), and his most popular, and my favorite, the Ghost Host of The Haunted Mansion.

He did write and direct one film himself -- "The Beatniks". It's… um… not very good… BUT it is entertaining enough to have been featured on one of the best episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000, so it's got that going for it!

Now, on to the record!

What makes this record awesome to me, is that it includes two things that I love immensely -- 60s pop music and crazy celebrity impersonations. YES!

The whole thing is fun to listen to, but the highlights for me are definitely the W.C. Fields version of "Mama Told Me Not To Come", the Sidney Greenstreet version of "Sugar, Sugar" (like, the best song EVER), and the Peter Lorre version of "Hey Jude".

If you can't find this fun, then you obviously have no soul.

Now, if Iris will finally shut up, give it a listen, and enjoy Paul Frees and the Poster People!

Download the album HERE.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 9 of 16)

Well, here we are at part 9 of the creeptastic Kenner Give-a-Show slide comics, and I don't know how much more of these crappy comics I can take, but hey, let's give it a shot.

Today's kooky knee-slapper features those cageless crows Heckle & Jeckle in the punariffic parable "Nothing to Crow About". Oh, fun.

As our story opens, we find our brainless bird buddies shooting a cannon straight up in the air (oh boy, here we go again…) "so no one gets hurt". Makes sense, I guess. PTHOOM!

KLONK! The cannonball has fallen from the sky and narrowly missed the dastardly dog pirate, whom I shall name Dogbeard. Huh. Guess it didn't make as much sense as I thought. Oh, well.

In the next panel, our fabulous fiend Dogbeard has tied up those foolhardy fowls, forcing them to walk the plank, and shakes his sword at them. Good riddance, I say.

SPLOOSH! Apparently Dogbeard and I are on the same page, as evidenced by his sentiment.

We are suddenly teleported to a desert island, where Dogbeard and his pirate pals are preparing to plunder some precious piratey prizes! (Um, I mean they're going to dig for treasure… duh)

As the red light of the sun beats upon their doggy back, HEAVE HO! WE'RE RICH! They have dug up a treasure chest! Don't get too much sweat on there, Dogbeard.

Oh me oh my, Heckle & Jeckle are in the treasure chest. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Nope, didn't see that coming. I mean, really. Wow. I am shocked. I just don't know how this could have happened. My mind is blown. Just, wow.

/sarcasm

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Record #53 - The Story of The Love Bug

Today we've got another entry in the everlasting plethora of my Disney collection. Now, submitted for your approval, here is The Story of The Love Bug!

In the film The Love Bug, a washed-up race car driver, Jim Douglas and his pal Tennessee stumble upon a Volkswagen bug named Herbie in a fancy European car showroom, run by the horrible, evil, murdering, villainous monster El Guap… I mean, Mr. Thorndyke! Apparently this car has a mind of its own and follows Jim home! They discover that he is incredibly fast for a tiny car, purchase him from Mr. Thorndyke, and decide to enter him into a race! When Mr. Thorndyke hears of this, he decides that he wants Herbie back, and will do anything to make that happen! And, just as usual, hilarity ensues. God, I love that phrase.

The movie spawned four sequels (including the Lindsay Lohan one, yuck), as well as a 5-episode TV spin-off and a made-for-TV remake starring Bruce Campbell.

Oh, and it was the second highest grossing US film of 1969. Kablammo! Take that, Paint Your Wagon!

Now... onto the record!

Like the The Story of Blackbeard's Ghost before it, the album The Story of The Love Bug is narrated by a character from the movie. This time, it's narrated by Buddy Hackett as his character Tennessee! Although they are similar, it is very different from the Blackbeard's Ghost record, as this has newly recorded dialogue not performed by any of the other original actors from the film. Oh well. They can't all be winners.

Now, unlike the movie which is fun and hilarious, this record is kind of awkward and just plain weird. The guy who plays Dean Jones' character in the original film sounds nothing like him, and obviously doesn't get that the character is supposed to be a little neurotic. You know, kind of like every Dean Jones character.

In another odd choice, the guy who was cast as the villainous British guy Mr. Thorndyke was the super All-American Dallas McKennon. He is probably best known as the voice of the safety spiel on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad Disney attraction, as well as Gumby and Pokey! In this record, he plays Mr. Thorndyke completely unlike David Tomlinson, and almost as a version of Dick Dastardly from Wacky Races. Although strange, it's kind of entertaining, considering this story has a lot of Wacky Races-esque situations.

Confusingly, the narration by the usually hyper and humorous Buddy Hackett is really really really really strange and kind of lethargic. It even borders along creepy at times. Especially the last line of the record. Sends shivers down my spine… blechhhh.

And last but not least, what would something from the 1960s be without some politically incorrect humor?! The portrayal of the Chinese character Mr. Woo, who ends up owning Herbie halfway through the story, is incredibly revolting, and probably pretty racist too. Eeeeek.

Now, onto the good, non-racisty stuff!!

One of the coolest things about these story records is that a handful of them include story books attached to them! The Story of The Love Bug is one of those, and has 11 pages full of super groovy art! It's bright and colorful, and does a great job capturing the scenes from the movie.

Now, please enjoy the laughter, love, and lexcitement (I couldn't think of another "L" word) of The Story of The Love Bug! And remember my friends, when buying a used car, always look under the hood for whipped cream.

*Sigh* I want a Herbie...

Download the album, along with all the storybook art HERE.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 8 of 16)

We are officially halfway through my abnormal accumulation of Kenner Give-a-Show slide comics! Give yourself a high-five! Woo!

Today's comic features that looney Gooney Bird in the rhyming revelation "Rare Snare"!!

On another bright and pinkish day in the jungle, as an exclamation point erupts from his head, the Gooney Bird hears a van screaming for help! What could possibly be the matter?

Wait a gosh durn second! Theres a lion in that van! Oh my (insert preferred deity here)!!

In a fearless demonstration of fortitude, our hero the Gooney Bird soars in the air, and right down in front of the van! The plundering poachers are surprised to see our friend, and take chase. He's worth a bundle! (SCREE!)

They swerve through the palm trees, faster and faster, when, without warning, the van drops down into a gigantic, pink hole in a calamitous catastrophe!! (SKRUNCH!)

The Gooney Bird has won the fight! The lion is free! Our silly smugglers fell into their own trap!

And that, my friends, is the story of the Gooney Bird.

Now, pass in your Algebra homework.

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The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 7 of 16)

Today's crantabulous crapfest is part 7 in our confounded collection of the Kenner Give-a-Show comic slides!

This installment features that creepy but cuddly clown, Bozo the Clown, in the crazy conundrum, "Cool Idea". Oh yeah, this is going to be awesome.

In this week's fantastic fable, a little lion tamer looks on as the big burly leopard leotarded man calls on Bozo for help! The polar bear is loose!

Oh dear God, NO!

In the next panel, we see, what I assume is to be the aforementioned polar bear. He is apparently trying, and failing miserably, to hang himself from the rope of flags. (RIP)

Now, I don't know about you, but that has to be the most God-awfully ugly polar bear I have ever seen.

Next, our freakish friends (big burly leopard leotarded man, tiny top hat guy, and Bozo) huddle together, pondering how they are going to get that pesky polar bear back in his cage.

When suddenly -- BOZO'S GOT AN IDEA!!

Then, for some unknown reason, the polar bear rushes back into his cage, leaving big burly leopard leotarded man and tiny top hat guy gawking in amazement! (ZIP)

As question marks explode from their heads, the other three circus workers question the quirky harlequin on how he got the polar bear back in his cage.

He bribed him with a Strawberry ice cream ice-berg!

Oh my, that is funny.

I really am laughing here.

Oh dear, I've got the giggles.

And that's what we call "silly humor".

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Record #1977 - This is Your... Princess Adventure

Today's record is the perfectly splendiferous, This is Your...Princess Adventure. Unfortunately, this record isn't about another treacherous trip with Cinderella, gosh darn it. It's almost better though, because, as you can plainly see, this is a document of YOUR Princess Cruise Adventure! Hey! Cruises are awesome! They're like a big floating buffet!

There is no doubt that you partook in the all of the activities offered to you by the cruise line - the casino, the lounge singers, jackpot Bingo, dance lessons, London pub night, the midnight buffet, the nightlife entertainment, the captain's cocktail party, and most importantly, skeet shooting!

Now, I've been on 3 cruises, but not ONE of them has given me the option of shooting things that are catapulted off the ship. The only activities I've been offered are shuffleboard and ping pong. I demand more guns!!

Anyways, this record is tons of fun, and it features a bunch of the strange and bizarre second-rate cruise entertainment. From my personal experience, ALL Cruise entertainment is super weird, yet delightfully fun! For example, the last time I was on a cruise there was a mariachi band playing Katy Perry songs. That's why you pay the big bucks for these fancy cruises.

As it says on the cover, this is a souvenir "LIVE" recording of your entire Princess Cruise! I'd really love to know why the word "LIVE" is in quotation marks. It says on the back that it is "actually recorded live onboard". So… is it really live, or is it just "LIVE"? Hey Princess Cruises, I NEED to know.

And, just as it's described, this deep and moving album truly is the perfect recording to share your Princess Cruise adventure with your loved ones at home. Now, find your muster station, sit back, relax, put this album on the phonograph, and enjoy vacationing vicariously through other people's 1977 Princess Adventure!

Download your very own Princess Cruise HERE.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 6 of 16)

We find ourselves here, in a familiar terrain. A place where dreams do come true, and even when they don't, at least they've got free pizza. If you didn't guess already, the place of which I'm referring to is the vault of the Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection! Woooo!

Tonight, we find ourselves in a high-flying tale of terrificness, starring the one and only Daffy Duck in "Imprudent Student". Brilliant.

Our story begins at Daffy's Flying School, where Daffy is taking Elmer Fudd on his first lesson. Considering Elmer could never figure out whether to shoot Daffy or Bugs, this is a gigantic step in their duck/man relationship.

When they get off the ground and into the wild pink yonder, Daffy begins explaining the 3 important rules of flying - "First, always keep your hands on the controls".

Of course, in true cartoony fashion, Elmer turns his head with not enough time to hear and respond the second rule of flying - "always watch where you're going".

Oh no! He's going down! (RRRRRRR)

Then, SCRONK! Uh oh. He didn't follow the third rule of flying - Never land in a tree.

And that's why you don't let off-model cartoon ducks open up flying schools.

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Article #696 - The Phantom Mullet

Yeah, OK. So I'm lame. Didn't post in a couple weeks. Big whoop. I'm sorry. Geez. Get off my case already.

Anyways, this article is actually something that I created back in 10th grade art class. Our awesome art teacher who was a Norwegian Simon Pegg lookalike gave us the assignment of creating a piece that included the actual English word of what we were creating somewhere in the piece. Now, if I was a regular person, I would have chosen some sort of cheap way out, like "car", or "banana", or "government issue". But no, I chose "mullet". For reasons of cheap teenage tomfoolery, I chose to also include in his headband the logo of Five Iron Frenzy, the greatest ska band ever, whose beautiful ode to Rowsdower-esque hairstyles everywhere, "The Phantom Mullet" inspired this piece.

Apparently, my art teacher liked it, as he placed it on display in the hallway of the History Building for all to see, which, as you all know, is second only to getting your art displayed in your local grandmother's house.

Enjoy.