The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 16 of 16)

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the end... this is the end of the Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comics.

We've been through a lot together, and I don't know about you, but I've learned a lot. I've learned that 2 seconds of chicken screams are perfect nightmare fuel. I've learned how to cheat at basketball. I've learned that puppies are perfect tools for closing overstuffed suitcases. I've learned that finding oil is "durned bad luck". Most importantly though, I've learned what to say when I'm stuck in the car wash and having a psychotic episode/stroke.

Today, though, the learning ends. And what better way to close out this collegiate experience than with a Wacky Races slide comic? 

THERE IS NO BETTER WAY.

So, it comes to this. Our final Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comic is from the files of Wacky Races and is entitled "Bridge Out".

In the first panel we see our old psychotic friend Penelope Pitstop, the evil Dick Dastardly, and those spooky Munster-like people coming to a closed road because of a downed bridge. They seem very disappointed about this as evidenced by their exclamation of "WELL THAT ENDS THE RACE".

That one Munster-y/Addams Familyish guy wants to know where could they "SCARE UP A BRIDGE". 

HA. I get it.

Then, some Paul Bunyan guy in a wooden car with his pet Beaver come plowing through shouting through his teeth...

"MAKE WAY FOR THE BUZZ WAGON"

Paul Bunyan then plows through a bunch of green pine trees (and one blue one), knocking them over, and chopping them up, destroying entire ecosystems in a few short blows.

Apparently he seems to have constructed a bridge out of trees that used to be bird and chipmunk houses, and some professor in his (or her) helicopter car thingy takes it away.

The ever-smiling Paul Bunyany man and his Beaver are left behind to "CATCH UP" as everybody else Wacky Races along across the freshly laid bridge.

Aaaaaaand scene. Bow, hold for applause.

Thank you, and good night.

And good riddance to you stupid, dumb, evil, Satanic, poopy, and just plain idiotic Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Comics!!

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The end.

For now...

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 15 of 16)

We are ONE comic away from being done with these things, so be excited.

DO IT.

BE EXCITED, DANG IT!!

Okay, well since you're obviously not going to be excited we'll just get on with the program.

Today's fantastical comic stars the Wacky Racer Penelope Pitstop in the sad story "Soggy Setback".

So, Penelope and those 3 little tiny mobster guys are driving along and decide to stop at some random car wash in the middle of nowhere.

Hmm… seems legit.

As soon as they drive in, some weird purple guy wearing a mask and purple cape and hat slams the door, locking them in!

He turns on the faucet and laughs very Nelson-ish.

"GOODBYE, PESTS! HAW HAW!"

In the next panel, we see the four roadsters up to their legs in water.

Now here's where the story gets weird.

As the water is filling up the car wash, Penelope goes hysterical and says 5 words that make NO SENSE AT ALL --

"QUICK POCKETS CHUGGABOOMS

UNDERWATER ATTACHMENT"

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?! Did she have a stroke?! 

I HAVE NEVER BEEN AS CONFUSED AS I AM RIGHT NOW.

Oh God, I don't even know if I can finish this...

I just have so many questions…

Okay, okay. I can do this. I can do this. Breathe, Jeremy. Breathe.

*Phew*

Well, after having some sort of demon possessed moment, Penelope hits the gas and KRAKs right through the door and over the weird purple guy.

As Penelope and the three mobster dudes drive away, the weird purple guy sits there and laments that "THE CLAW'S PLAN IS ALL WASHED UP!". Oh. I guess the weird purple guy's name is THE CLAW. Just erase the name "weird purple guy" up there and replace it with THE CLAW. That'll work. I'm too lazy to fix it. Blah.

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Now, pass the Excedrin. My brain hurts. And I'm sure Penelope's does too.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 14 of 16)

Since this is my 50th post, I'm feeling kind of lazy, so I'm going to do the bare minimum.

Hold onto your hats.

This is a comic. It has Mighty Mouse. It is called "Magnetic Personality". Oh, the fun.

Some mice are going to a picnic in a helicopter. Why? I don't know, and frankly, I don't want to know.

Some cat has a magnet and talks to himself.

Lightningy magnetism strikes the helicopter.

HUMMMMM

The cat uses the magnet to make the helicopter "COME TO PAPA".

I don't know how he knows evil is happening, but out of the blue (well, actually out of the green) Mighty Mouse comes to save the day by SNATCHing the magnet from the cat. 

The cat runs away and then WHOOSH, Mighty Mouse throws the magnet at the cat.

The magnet knocks the cat on the ground and pins him to the ground while stars and what appears to be a sparkler bounce on his brain barrier (his head).

The end.

Now, let's all join in a silent prayer to thank the sweet Lloyd that there are only 2 more of these crapfests left.

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Or don't. Whatever.

Don't enjoy this one.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 13 of 16)

 Okay. Here we go again. SLIDE COMICS. Oh come on, you know you love it.

Today's Give-a-Show stars those crazy carnivores Motormouse & Autocat in the profound potboiler "Oops!"

Autocat's NEW RADAR SUCTION HARPOOON IS READY! Yes! Finally! I mean, the 1970 model was great, but dang, this 1971 model sure is far out!

BEEP

Motormouse speeds on by on some sort of motorbikecycle!

ZZZT!

Then, Autocat who kind of resembles Heathcliff, sets his suction harpoon to retrieve anything on a motorcycle. YES! Finally, some action in these things.

KaBLOOEY

The suction harpoon explodes and flies across apartment buildings… and my favorite restaurant -- EAT!!

Looks like Autocat's caught something! He reeeeeeeels it in!

CRANK CRANK

"Oops!".

HEY!! THAT'S WHERE THE TITLE CAME FROM!! NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE!! (No it doesn't)

BEEP (again)

Oh, hilarity ensued and Autocat has harpooned a police bike. HA.

As Autocat is hauled away to jail in a paddywagon, Motormouse ZOW's by just to taunt him.

So as we all can see, the exploits of Motormouse & Autocat are just a step below (or above, your pick) Tom & Jerry.

The end.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 12 of 16)

Once again, we come back to the Kenner Give-a-Show slide comics. I'm starting to feel like I don't even need to preface these things anymore. I mean, they are all absolutely horrid, I'm just wasting my time trying to hype these up. Well, here we go...

Today's comic features the fantastical, magical, super crantabulous Cattanooga Cats in the criminially crappy chronicle, "Case Closed".

In the first panel, we see four animals, which I assume to be the titular Cattanooga Cats in some sort of red room with blue floor. The one with the green hat is reading some sort of telegram or letter or secret self-destructing note that indicates that "THEY" want them to play in "THE CITY".

I don't know who "THEY" are, or what "CITY" they are talking about, and frankly I don't care.

Next, we find them packing their suitcases with vigor. I don't know about you, but when I pack for a trip, I usually don't throw my polka-dot pants in the air and expect them to magically find their way to my suitcase, but maybe that's just me.

In our next panel, an exclamation point haunts the head of the green cat with yellow ears and red ascot (just like Freddy from Scooby-Doo!) while the overstuffed suitcase glows with the glow of a thousand suns.

"LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR PUPPY."

I totally agree.

As evidenced by the question marks hovering around her skull, the girly cat-like thing is confused to "HOW CAN PUPPY HELP?".

COMPITTY CLOMP KLOMP

What I assume to be the aforementioned "PUPPY", comes bolting along.

SKLONCH

The big, fat, blueish, greenish thing pounces on the suitcase, making it visibly fart.

"THANKS PUPPY!"

In the end, the Cattanooga Cats suitcase has been tightened shut, and all is well in all of kitty cat creation.

And so the gang is off on their 7 month tour of "THE CITY", leaving their puppyish thing to fend for himself.

How heartwarming.

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Enjoy!

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 11 of 16)

Ahhhhh yes… the Kenner Give-a-Show slide comics. You can't escape it. Search your feelings, you know it to be true!

I... don't know why I just said that.

Well anyways, here we go again.

Today's comic features that pathetic puddy-tat Sylvester and his evil nemesis, Tweety! Oh, goody.

For some reason, Sylvester and Tweety, who are both well-known domesticated house pets, are entwined in some sort of chase in the forest. THE FOREST. Yeesh... the factual inaccuracies in these comics are becoming more and more obvious.

"I TAWT I TAW A PUDDY TAT!"

Yeah… Well, duh.

HEH HEH

ZOW (hey, that's a new one!) - Sylvester continues to chase Tweety until…

ZIP - Tweety swoops down and into a hollow log. Oh, great. I've seen enough silent movies to know where this is going.

Sylvester chases Tweety into the hollow log, as a butterfly flies around his butt for some unknown reason.

Suddenly, Tweety pops out from a tiny hole in the log, giving a fond farewell to the "puddy". HA! I KNEW IT!

CRUNCK KRASH CRUNK - Out of nowhere, this log decides to roll down the orangey/reddish ground towards a lake or a river or a stream or some sort of body of water.

A fjord? Yeah. I'm gonna say it's a fjord.

In the end, we see Sylvester now frantically floating down this fjord on the hollow log, whilst Tweety taunts him, like the little twerp he is.

THE END.

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Enjoy… I guess.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 10 of 16)

WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO PART 10 OF THE KENNER GIVE-A-SHOW SLIDE COLLECTION!!

...I'm sorry for yelling at you, I just got excited.

Today's slide comic features that devilish dude, Yosemite Sam in "Out of my Mine". HA! I get it!

As we begin this magical tale, we see that Yosemite Sam is buying a gold mine from the cool cowboy with the inverted cow print vest. Awesome. Someone should buy me one of those.

After receiving the money from Sam, the devilishly cool cowboy counts his money. "Haw, haw!" Uh, oh… something bad is about to happen, I can just feel it.

CHOP! HACK!

Cut to: 3 Months Later

SHOVEL! DIG!

Yosemite Sam realizes he's been hoodwinked! Well, it's about time. Yeesh. Three months and nothing? Come on, Sam. Get with the program.

BOOM! POW!

Sam's so angry, he decides to shoot at the ground, because it can't shoot back.

"Oil! More durned bad luck!" Womp womp womp wommmmmmmmp…

Wait… OIL?! How the hell is that "durned bad luck"?! I mean, HE'S FREAKIN' RICH!! Ugh… I need to stop overanalyzing these things.

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Enjoy!

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 9 of 16)

Well, here we are at part 9 of the creeptastic Kenner Give-a-Show slide comics, and I don't know how much more of these crappy comics I can take, but hey, let's give it a shot.

Today's kooky knee-slapper features those cageless crows Heckle & Jeckle in the punariffic parable "Nothing to Crow About". Oh, fun.

As our story opens, we find our brainless bird buddies shooting a cannon straight up in the air (oh boy, here we go again…) "so no one gets hurt". Makes sense, I guess. PTHOOM!

KLONK! The cannonball has fallen from the sky and narrowly missed the dastardly dog pirate, whom I shall name Dogbeard. Huh. Guess it didn't make as much sense as I thought. Oh, well.

In the next panel, our fabulous fiend Dogbeard has tied up those foolhardy fowls, forcing them to walk the plank, and shakes his sword at them. Good riddance, I say.

SPLOOSH! Apparently Dogbeard and I are on the same page, as evidenced by his sentiment.

We are suddenly teleported to a desert island, where Dogbeard and his pirate pals are preparing to plunder some precious piratey prizes! (Um, I mean they're going to dig for treasure… duh)

As the red light of the sun beats upon their doggy back, HEAVE HO! WE'RE RICH! They have dug up a treasure chest! Don't get too much sweat on there, Dogbeard.

Oh me oh my, Heckle & Jeckle are in the treasure chest. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Nope, didn't see that coming. I mean, really. Wow. I am shocked. I just don't know how this could have happened. My mind is blown. Just, wow.

/sarcasm

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The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 8 of 16)

We are officially halfway through my abnormal accumulation of Kenner Give-a-Show slide comics! Give yourself a high-five! Woo!

Today's comic features that looney Gooney Bird in the rhyming revelation "Rare Snare"!!

On another bright and pinkish day in the jungle, as an exclamation point erupts from his head, the Gooney Bird hears a van screaming for help! What could possibly be the matter?

Wait a gosh durn second! Theres a lion in that van! Oh my (insert preferred deity here)!!

In a fearless demonstration of fortitude, our hero the Gooney Bird soars in the air, and right down in front of the van! The plundering poachers are surprised to see our friend, and take chase. He's worth a bundle! (SCREE!)

They swerve through the palm trees, faster and faster, when, without warning, the van drops down into a gigantic, pink hole in a calamitous catastrophe!! (SKRUNCH!)

The Gooney Bird has won the fight! The lion is free! Our silly smugglers fell into their own trap!

And that, my friends, is the story of the Gooney Bird.

Now, pass in your Algebra homework.

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The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 7 of 16)

Today's crantabulous crapfest is part 7 in our confounded collection of the Kenner Give-a-Show comic slides!

This installment features that creepy but cuddly clown, Bozo the Clown, in the crazy conundrum, "Cool Idea". Oh yeah, this is going to be awesome.

In this week's fantastic fable, a little lion tamer looks on as the big burly leopard leotarded man calls on Bozo for help! The polar bear is loose!

Oh dear God, NO!

In the next panel, we see, what I assume is to be the aforementioned polar bear. He is apparently trying, and failing miserably, to hang himself from the rope of flags. (RIP)

Now, I don't know about you, but that has to be the most God-awfully ugly polar bear I have ever seen.

Next, our freakish friends (big burly leopard leotarded man, tiny top hat guy, and Bozo) huddle together, pondering how they are going to get that pesky polar bear back in his cage.

When suddenly -- BOZO'S GOT AN IDEA!!

Then, for some unknown reason, the polar bear rushes back into his cage, leaving big burly leopard leotarded man and tiny top hat guy gawking in amazement! (ZIP)

As question marks explode from their heads, the other three circus workers question the quirky harlequin on how he got the polar bear back in his cage.

He bribed him with a Strawberry ice cream ice-berg!

Oh my, that is funny.

I really am laughing here.

Oh dear, I've got the giggles.

And that's what we call "silly humor".

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The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 6 of 16)

We find ourselves here, in a familiar terrain. A place where dreams do come true, and even when they don't, at least they've got free pizza. If you didn't guess already, the place of which I'm referring to is the vault of the Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection! Woooo!

Tonight, we find ourselves in a high-flying tale of terrificness, starring the one and only Daffy Duck in "Imprudent Student". Brilliant.

Our story begins at Daffy's Flying School, where Daffy is taking Elmer Fudd on his first lesson. Considering Elmer could never figure out whether to shoot Daffy or Bugs, this is a gigantic step in their duck/man relationship.

When they get off the ground and into the wild pink yonder, Daffy begins explaining the 3 important rules of flying - "First, always keep your hands on the controls".

Of course, in true cartoony fashion, Elmer turns his head with not enough time to hear and respond the second rule of flying - "always watch where you're going".

Oh no! He's going down! (RRRRRRR)

Then, SCRONK! Uh oh. He didn't follow the third rule of flying - Never land in a tree.

And that's why you don't let off-model cartoon ducks open up flying schools.

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The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 5 of 16)

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program. That is, if your program includes another heart-wrenching installment of the Kenner Give-a-Show Slide collection! It does? Well then, you're in luck, because that is exactly why I'm here!

Today's cadaverous cartoon stars one of animation's most cherished characters, Bugs Bunny, in "Bugs Bunny Rides Again". Oh man, I'm excited. I mean, it's Bugs freakin' Bunny! He's hilarious. This HAS to be good… right?

In this tragic tale of terror, we find Yosemite Sam, looking a little redder than usual, racing through the desert on a tiny horse, ready for a showdown with that rabbit! You know, these slide comic cartoon characters really need to start wearing more sunscreen.

He arrives at the saloon, and finds his nemesis, Bugs Bunny! (dun dun dunnnnn… the plot thickens!) Apparently, Bugs has hit his head or eaten some bad carrots or something, because he obviously thinks Yosemite Sam's is a king, and calls him "sire".

Oh no! It's time for a showdown!

Well, Yosemite Sam decides it's time to make Bugs dance by shooting at his feet, which makes Bugs jump for joy as he challenges Sam to a dance-off. Ohhhhhhhhh snap!

Yosemite Sam accepts this challenge (as any gentleman should) and shuffles off!

But, while Bugs giggles with giddiness, Yosemite Sam dances himself away - right down a mine shaft in the middle of Main Street!! That bouncy Bugs Bunny has given him the slip once again!

Oh, Bugs! You rascally rabbit, you!

Stay tuned for Part 5 of The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collectionalicious! Woo!

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The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 4 of 16)

Today's episode of the Kenner Give-a-Show Slide comic collection features our favorite cartoon basketball bunch, the Harlem Globetrotters® in the captivating chronicle, "Pinpoint Accuracy"!

With only ten seconds to go and a tie game, our glorious grandmother cheerleader and dandy dog mascot are cheering on the Globetrotters, while knocking over a bucket of milk for some reason, as a flashlight and a bunch of flesh-colored and black jelly beans float behind them.

Apparently the Globetrotters have stolen the DNA of Stretch Armstrong, as one of them was able to stretch their freakishly long arm behind the backboard to make a score point! GO TEAM!

In true basketball fashion, the ball goes to the opposing team, who almost immediately decide to shoot the ball from the middle of nowhere, whilst one Globetrotter dances in the foreground, and the others skip by in the back.

Our sunburnt sports-guy shoots a last second shot and OH NO! It's going in!

Then, out of what appears to be nowhere, there is an explosion! (POOFF SSSSSSSS)

As it turns out, it was the ball that exploded! The now flattened ball is just hanging on the edge of the basket looking (to me, at least) like a deflated peanut. THE GLOBETROTTERS WIN, as usual. Yeesh. These guys need to lose eventually, they're getting wayyyy too cocky.

After winning (again, ugh), the Globetrotters walk over and talk to the question mark flying over the referee's head, telling it that the game had them on pins and needles, as a platoon of UFOs fly behind them. WAIT A GOSH DARN MINUTE!! THOSE GLOBETROTTERS FLATTENED THE BALL WITH A SHINY PIN!!

Aaaaaaand the moral of the story is -- cheaters ALWAYS prosper.

Godspeed, you fantastic fraudsters!

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The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 3 of 16)

It's been a while since I've posted about these, but then again, it's been a while since I posted at all. But hey, who's counting?

Welcome, one and all, to part 3 of my astounding collection of the bewitchingly compelling Give-a-Show Slide comics.

Today's installment features the adventures of that pleasant pup we all know and love - Scooby Doo, starring in an enchanting tale entitled "Fogbound Hound".

In this adventure, Scooby and his dangerously sunburnt pals from Mystery Inc. are out on a groovy night on the lake when they accidentally turn into a spooky fogbank! (GASP*)

Then, to much surprise, their motor quits on them! (SPUT SPUTTER)

Unable to be seen under the heavy fog, the fabulous fivesome are being approached on by a ship! With no warning, Scooby belts out a loud "OOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as Shaggy looks on with wonder.

Oh, thank the Lord! It worked! The sailors on the ship were able to see them, and not run them over! Phew! It sure was lucky they had a "built-in foghorn"! Aaaaaannnd cue the canned laughter.

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*GASP added by me, not actually in comic. Void in Texas, Alaska, Puerto Rico, and wherever fine books are sold.*

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slides Collection (part 2 of 16)

Welcome to part 2 of my collection of the riveting Kenner Give-A-Show Slides.

Today, we have a "hilarious" Josie & The Pussycats comic entitled "Spellbound".

In this comedy of epic proportions, Sabrina the Teenage Witch's evil twin has infiltrated the comic world of Josie & The Pussycats, where she happens upon Josie flirting with Alan B! *GASP!*

Of course, since all evil teenage witches love buff, blonde guys, she gets jealous and decides to cast a spell to make Alan B fall in love with her. KER-ZAP!

In true Bewitched®-ish fashion, Alan B becomes enamored with a quarter he spots on the ground and bends over to pick it up, making the magical lighting bolt just miss his butt by inches, and mistakenly strike a construction worker driving a steamroller, who in turn falls in love with the evil Sabrina! ZORP!

As with all madly in love construction workers, he immediately abandons his still-rolling steamroller, which then flattens a brand new police car! SKRONCH!

This, of course, makes the policeman chase him while he chases after evil Sabrina, while hearts leak from his thick head.

In the end, we learn that using magic to make big, burly, blonde men fall in love with you is never a good idea.

Thank you, and good night!

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The Kenner Give-a-Show Slides Collection (part 1 of 16)

Today we've got the first of my collection of 16 Kenner Give-A-Show Slides.

If you don't know what a Give-A-Show Slide Projector is, then check this out...

Now, if you haven't already been scared away by the frightening chicken at the end of that commercial screaming "BY KENNER!!!", then you're gonna find the rest of this article pretty cool.

It seems like back in the late 60's, kids could be entertained by, well, pretty much anything -- especially awfully written comic strips of their favorite Hanna-Barbera and Warner Brothers cartoons being projected on their walls!

Today's comic (if you can even call it that) is the Space Kidettes in the hilariously punnified adventure titled "Bone-A-Fide Detective".

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Enjoy!