The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 11 of 16)

Ahhhhh yes… the Kenner Give-a-Show slide comics. You can't escape it. Search your feelings, you know it to be true!

I... don't know why I just said that.

Well anyways, here we go again.

Today's comic features that pathetic puddy-tat Sylvester and his evil nemesis, Tweety! Oh, goody.

For some reason, Sylvester and Tweety, who are both well-known domesticated house pets, are entwined in some sort of chase in the forest. THE FOREST. Yeesh... the factual inaccuracies in these comics are becoming more and more obvious.

"I TAWT I TAW A PUDDY TAT!"

Yeah… Well, duh.

HEH HEH

ZOW (hey, that's a new one!) - Sylvester continues to chase Tweety until…

ZIP - Tweety swoops down and into a hollow log. Oh, great. I've seen enough silent movies to know where this is going.

Sylvester chases Tweety into the hollow log, as a butterfly flies around his butt for some unknown reason.

Suddenly, Tweety pops out from a tiny hole in the log, giving a fond farewell to the "puddy". HA! I KNEW IT!

CRUNCK KRASH CRUNK - Out of nowhere, this log decides to roll down the orangey/reddish ground towards a lake or a river or a stream or some sort of body of water.

A fjord? Yeah. I'm gonna say it's a fjord.

In the end, we see Sylvester now frantically floating down this fjord on the hollow log, whilst Tweety taunts him, like the little twerp he is.

THE END.

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Enjoy… I guess.

Record #3456 - Disco for Kids

Today's record is the freakishly funkalicious album, Disco for Kids! Now, I never really realized it till now, but almost all disco music is completely ridiculous.

I'm kidding. Obviously it's all ridiculous. Case in point - The Village People.

In 1977, disco was king. Forget punk rock. It's all about the disco, baby! YEAH!

I mean, disco was so dang popular, they even made a disco version of the Star Wars theme, and yes, just as you imagined, it is the 3rd or 4th greatest song ever recorded.

Don't believe me? Well, then you are denial and must check out the video below.

See? I TOLD YOU.

Okay, so it's not that great, but hey, it's fun!

Anyways, disco = big in the mid-70s.

Got that? Good. Now, onto the bloggery stuff.

Disco for Kids is, in one word, MAGNIFICENT. It has some of the greatest non-disco-but-categorically-described-as-disco music ever recorded, PLUS an instructional guide for dance moves! DANCE MOVES, CHARLIE! (I don't know who Charlie is, I just felt like saying that)

I don't know about you, but I have wanted to learn how to do the Knock Knee Bump since the beginning of time, and you know what? Thanks to this album, NOW I CAN! This is what America is all about, people.

Besides the great vaugely disco-ish music, my favorite thing about this record is Al Dana's nightmarish narration.

One word -- CLAP.

I honestly don't think I have ever heard anything more creepy.

One cool thing about this album, is that on Side A you have the songs with the narration teaching you the dance moves, but Side B contains all the instrumental versions of the songs! It's totally perfect for your junior high school's talent show! Ohhhh yeah!

I think my favorite track may be Slow Stomp (aka I've Got a Feeling) mostly because of the way he says "AND THE CHICKEN!" and "SIDE!" and that krazy keyboard riff. Oh, come on. You know you love it.

So, that's Disco for Kids! I've included the instructional booklet for you in the file as well. There's no need to thank me, just say a silent prayer to Günter, the Disco King, and all will be well with the Lloyd.

Download Disco for Kids, HERE.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 10 of 16)

WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO PART 10 OF THE KENNER GIVE-A-SHOW SLIDE COLLECTION!!

...I'm sorry for yelling at you, I just got excited.

Today's slide comic features that devilish dude, Yosemite Sam in "Out of my Mine". HA! I get it!

As we begin this magical tale, we see that Yosemite Sam is buying a gold mine from the cool cowboy with the inverted cow print vest. Awesome. Someone should buy me one of those.

After receiving the money from Sam, the devilishly cool cowboy counts his money. "Haw, haw!" Uh, oh… something bad is about to happen, I can just feel it.

CHOP! HACK!

Cut to: 3 Months Later

SHOVEL! DIG!

Yosemite Sam realizes he's been hoodwinked! Well, it's about time. Yeesh. Three months and nothing? Come on, Sam. Get with the program.

BOOM! POW!

Sam's so angry, he decides to shoot at the ground, because it can't shoot back.

"Oil! More durned bad luck!" Womp womp womp wommmmmmmmp…

Wait… OIL?! How the hell is that "durned bad luck"?! I mean, HE'S FREAKIN' RICH!! Ugh… I need to stop overanalyzing these things.

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Enjoy!

Record #1970 - Paul Frees and the Poster People

Today's record is the musical/comedy album Paul Frees and the Poster People by the grooviest ghost host in the galaxy, Paul Frees! (Thank you, Captain Obvious)

Paul Frees was an amazing voice-over (and sometimes screen) actor who got his start, like most people of that time, in radio. He did a lot of announcing and narration, as well as voices on tons of anthology shows. He was excellent at impersonations (as you'll hear later), and was called on to do dubbing for certain films, sometimes completely replacing the whole dialogue!

He worked for most of the big studios, most famously doing the voice of Boris Badenov on Rocky & Bullwinkle, but his talents were utilized most often by Disney. He did voices for their films and TV shows, narrating the Man in Space series, The Nine Lives of Elfego Baca, and he also created the voice of Professor Ludwig Von Drake!

Disney Imagineering seems to love his voice, since he can be heard in pretty much every single early Disney attraction. He did voices for The Enchanted Tiki Room, Pirates of the Caribbean, Adventure Thru Inner Space (MAGNIFICATION), and his most popular, and my favorite, the Ghost Host of The Haunted Mansion.

He did write and direct one film himself -- "The Beatniks". It's… um… not very good… BUT it is entertaining enough to have been featured on one of the best episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000, so it's got that going for it!

Now, on to the record!

What makes this record awesome to me, is that it includes two things that I love immensely -- 60s pop music and crazy celebrity impersonations. YES!

The whole thing is fun to listen to, but the highlights for me are definitely the W.C. Fields version of "Mama Told Me Not To Come", the Sidney Greenstreet version of "Sugar, Sugar" (like, the best song EVER), and the Peter Lorre version of "Hey Jude".

If you can't find this fun, then you obviously have no soul.

Now, if Iris will finally shut up, give it a listen, and enjoy Paul Frees and the Poster People!

Download the album HERE.

Article #32125 & 6 - The Darkwing Duck Scripts (Part 3 of 4) & Storybook

I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the script-owning scourge that squeegees my way into your soul! I am.... DARKWIIIIINNNNGGG DUCK!

Well, not really, but that was my half-assed attempt at being as awesome as the Darkwing Duck writers. Anywhoo, welcome to part THREE of my collection of Darkwing Duck scripts!

Today's script is entitled "Dirty Money" and features one of the rarest (and strangest) Darkwing Duck villains ever - the F.O.W.L. neat freak, Ammonia Pine. Puns are awesome.

In this episode, the evil Ammonia Pine (who turned to evil after "an accident with an experimental bathroom disinfectant") is breaking into banks, literally cleaning out the vaults by removing the ink off the dollar bills. Oh, and not even 10 pages in, and she sucks the head of S.H.U.S.H., J. Gander Hooter, up into her vacuum. I love it.

This, of course, leaves Gryzlikoff in charge, annoying Darkwing to no end - especially when Gryzlikoff runs him through an insane amount of "training". Cue the hilarious sitcom-type humor!

This episode was also turned into a kid's storybook, which I also own... obviously. The book has the slightly, yet completely different title of "Clean Money". Freakin' genius.

You can download the PDF of the "Dirty Money" script HERE.

This episode is available on Vol. 1 of the Darkwing Duck DVDs, ooooorrrrrrrrr you can watch it below!

Enjoy!