The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 9 of 16)

Well, here we are at part 9 of the creeptastic Kenner Give-a-Show slide comics, and I don't know how much more of these crappy comics I can take, but hey, let's give it a shot.

Today's kooky knee-slapper features those cageless crows Heckle & Jeckle in the punariffic parable "Nothing to Crow About". Oh, fun.

As our story opens, we find our brainless bird buddies shooting a cannon straight up in the air (oh boy, here we go again…) "so no one gets hurt". Makes sense, I guess. PTHOOM!

KLONK! The cannonball has fallen from the sky and narrowly missed the dastardly dog pirate, whom I shall name Dogbeard. Huh. Guess it didn't make as much sense as I thought. Oh, well.

In the next panel, our fabulous fiend Dogbeard has tied up those foolhardy fowls, forcing them to walk the plank, and shakes his sword at them. Good riddance, I say.

SPLOOSH! Apparently Dogbeard and I are on the same page, as evidenced by his sentiment.

We are suddenly teleported to a desert island, where Dogbeard and his pirate pals are preparing to plunder some precious piratey prizes! (Um, I mean they're going to dig for treasure… duh)

As the red light of the sun beats upon their doggy back, HEAVE HO! WE'RE RICH! They have dug up a treasure chest! Don't get too much sweat on there, Dogbeard.

Oh me oh my, Heckle & Jeckle are in the treasure chest. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Nope, didn't see that coming. I mean, really. Wow. I am shocked. I just don't know how this could have happened. My mind is blown. Just, wow.

/sarcasm

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Magazine #1975 - In The Know (January 1976)

Today we've got everybody's favorite random and completely unheard of magazine In The Know's issue for January 1976, featuring a Special Report on The 18 Most Important Celebrities of 1975! "Far out!", as John Denver might say.

As you can see, they've included lots of "important" celebrities up there on the cover. There's James Caan, Henry Kissinger, Cher, Robert Redford, Gerald and Betty Ford, Warren "Ishtar/Shampoo" Beatty, and, my favorite two, Patty Hearst and Jaws the Shark. As you all know, the exploits of Jaws and Patty Hearst are the reason why we made it through the 70's. All the mainstream History books leave that part out, for some unknown reason.

This is a pretty fun magazine, and besides the cover article, there's a few really interesting Beach Boys related articles, one including some groovy backstage pictures of them on tour. Another article is about the (annoying) Captain and Tennille, who started out as back-up vocalists for the Beach Boys. Lastly, there's an article about Stan Love, the 6' 9" basketball playing brother of Mike Love. On a related note, Mike Love is a stupid McJerkypants-Butt.

Moving on...

There's also a section in this magazine where certain celebrities talk about what Christmas is to them, including a tiny anecdote by comedy god Groucho Marx.

Another part of the Christmas section asks certain 70's super celebrities what they want for Christmas. My personal favorite comes from Pat Loud, the mom from An American Family - the first "reality show"/greatest 12-part documentary ever made.

The only thing that could have made that any better was if she used the word "cesspool". Oh well...

Of course all of these articles are pretty important to humanity, but the one that most epitomizes the everlasting fight against the Communists is this article...

YES!! BELLY DANCING!! You can't go wrong with Melaina Blume, the US Belly Dancing Champion of 1975. She is belly dancing for your freedom! AMERICA! Oh, how I love it.

And that, my friends, is the In The Know magazine for January 1976. In my experience, I find that it's always a good idea to know what was most important exactly 31 years ago. Especially if that 31 years ago was 1975.

Enjoy, and please try not to forget the 1970's. They obviously were the greatest decade in human history.

Download the In The Know magazine HERE.

Oh, and don't forget to visit In The Know magazine's crazy awesome and super futuristic website!

Record #53 - The Story of The Love Bug

Today we've got another entry in the everlasting plethora of my Disney collection. Now, submitted for your approval, here is The Story of The Love Bug!

In the film The Love Bug, a washed-up race car driver, Jim Douglas and his pal Tennessee stumble upon a Volkswagen bug named Herbie in a fancy European car showroom, run by the horrible, evil, murdering, villainous monster El Guap… I mean, Mr. Thorndyke! Apparently this car has a mind of its own and follows Jim home! They discover that he is incredibly fast for a tiny car, purchase him from Mr. Thorndyke, and decide to enter him into a race! When Mr. Thorndyke hears of this, he decides that he wants Herbie back, and will do anything to make that happen! And, just as usual, hilarity ensues. God, I love that phrase.

The movie spawned four sequels (including the Lindsay Lohan one, yuck), as well as a 5-episode TV spin-off and a made-for-TV remake starring Bruce Campbell.

Oh, and it was the second highest grossing US film of 1969. Kablammo! Take that, Paint Your Wagon!

Now... onto the record!

Like the The Story of Blackbeard's Ghost before it, the album The Story of The Love Bug is narrated by a character from the movie. This time, it's narrated by Buddy Hackett as his character Tennessee! Although they are similar, it is very different from the Blackbeard's Ghost record, as this has newly recorded dialogue not performed by any of the other original actors from the film. Oh well. They can't all be winners.

Now, unlike the movie which is fun and hilarious, this record is kind of awkward and just plain weird. The guy who plays Dean Jones' character in the original film sounds nothing like him, and obviously doesn't get that the character is supposed to be a little neurotic. You know, kind of like every Dean Jones character.

In another odd choice, the guy who was cast as the villainous British guy Mr. Thorndyke was the super All-American Dallas McKennon. He is probably best known as the voice of the safety spiel on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad Disney attraction, as well as Gumby and Pokey! In this record, he plays Mr. Thorndyke completely unlike David Tomlinson, and almost as a version of Dick Dastardly from Wacky Races. Although strange, it's kind of entertaining, considering this story has a lot of Wacky Races-esque situations.

Confusingly, the narration by the usually hyper and humorous Buddy Hackett is really really really really strange and kind of lethargic. It even borders along creepy at times. Especially the last line of the record. Sends shivers down my spine… blechhhh.

And last but not least, what would something from the 1960s be without some politically incorrect humor?! The portrayal of the Chinese character Mr. Woo, who ends up owning Herbie halfway through the story, is incredibly revolting, and probably pretty racist too. Eeeeek.

Now, onto the good, non-racisty stuff!!

One of the coolest things about these story records is that a handful of them include story books attached to them! The Story of The Love Bug is one of those, and has 11 pages full of super groovy art! It's bright and colorful, and does a great job capturing the scenes from the movie.

Now, please enjoy the laughter, love, and lexcitement (I couldn't think of another "L" word) of The Story of The Love Bug! And remember my friends, when buying a used car, always look under the hood for whipped cream.

*Sigh* I want a Herbie...

Download the album, along with all the storybook art HERE.

The Kenner Give-a-Show Slide Collection (part 8 of 16)

We are officially halfway through my abnormal accumulation of Kenner Give-a-Show slide comics! Give yourself a high-five! Woo!

Today's comic features that looney Gooney Bird in the rhyming revelation "Rare Snare"!!

On another bright and pinkish day in the jungle, as an exclamation point erupts from his head, the Gooney Bird hears a van screaming for help! What could possibly be the matter?

Wait a gosh durn second! Theres a lion in that van! Oh my (insert preferred deity here)!!

In a fearless demonstration of fortitude, our hero the Gooney Bird soars in the air, and right down in front of the van! The plundering poachers are surprised to see our friend, and take chase. He's worth a bundle! (SCREE!)

They swerve through the palm trees, faster and faster, when, without warning, the van drops down into a gigantic, pink hole in a calamitous catastrophe!! (SKRUNCH!)

The Gooney Bird has won the fight! The lion is free! Our silly smugglers fell into their own trap!

And that, my friends, is the story of the Gooney Bird.

Now, pass in your Algebra homework.

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Record #57 - Zingers from the Hollywood Squares

There's no real way to describe Zingers from the Hollywood Squares. Just as the title says, it includes actual zingers from the Hollywood Squares TV show. You know, back in the early 1970s it was a novel idea to name an album, and then fill it with content that actually matches the title. It was a brilliant concept.

This album is pretty dang funny, and why shouldn't it be? Look at all the hilarious people that are on this thing!

You've got Paul Lynde (of course), Don Knotts, Dom Deluise, Sally Fields, Buddy Hackett, Mel Brooks, Rose Marie, Don Rickles, Harvey Korman, Vincent Price, Suzanne Pleshette, Burt Reynolds, and of course, Charo.

And what would a 1970s TV show be without Charo? Nothing, that's what!

Instead of watching the "New" Hollywood Squares (ugh), enjoy this audio recording of actual funny people doing what they do best (which is be funny, just in case you didn't know).

Download the album HERE.

Aaaaaannnnd, last but not least, check out this hilarious video of Paul Lynde doing the local weather in Toledo, Ohio!

Enjoy!

And don't forget, every time you order a McRib, a demon gets its horns.