Friday, November 2, 2012

The Girl in Gold Boots Memorabilia (Part 6 of 3)

Oh, just accept it. There will never be an end to the Girl in Gold Boots memorabilia.

The record is by harmonica guy Danny Welton, who also did the theme song from Looking for Mr. Goodbar


This record includes two instrumental/incidental songs from the "soundtract"... ALL OF THE SINGLES SPELL "SOUNDTRACK" WRONG!!

The track "Julie" is the full length version of the "A New Companion" track from the earlier soundtrack, so this replaces that one on the "soundtract".

I can't figure out where the song "Stroblights" is in the film, but then again, it might not be in the finished film so I just tacked it on at the end.

Also, THEY SPELLED "STROBE LIGHTS" WRONG!!

Seriously, what is up with this misspelling conspiracy?!


You can download the updated version of the Girl in Gold Boots Soundtrack HERE.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Movie #92 - Chéz-Zam!

Today I'm going to share with you a videotape that makes me very happy.

The videotape is called Chéz-Zam, and it is by far, the greatest thing to have ever happened... EVER.


I case you couldn't tell by that beautifully creepy cover up there, Chéz-Zam is an entertainment/party group that is some crazy messed up mixture of Cirque du Soliel, CATS, Studio 54, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and 89 hits of acid... and a whole buttload of cocaine.

Why am I even trying to explain this to you with mere words?

Take 13 minutes out your day and check out the entire Chéz-Zam promotional videotape below, and find out what Chéz-Zam is really all about –


Freakin' Alan Alda.

I'm not entirely sure there's anything more that I can say – it's just perfect.

Also, I'm about 78% sure this is Clemmy from RENO! 911.


If you can believe it, these Chéz-Zam folks are still around... and if someone doesn't hire them for my next birthday party, I'll be thoroughly disappointed.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Quincy, M.E. "Slow Boat to Madness" Script

Today's script is from the classic two-part Quincy, M. E. episode "Slow Boat to Madness"!

Of course, as you all know (or should know) Quincy, M. E. stars the klug-man himself, Jack Klugman as a Los Angeles medical examiner who always gets involved in all sorts of crazy hijinks that he shouldn't be getting involved in.

This time, while on a cruise vacation in Tahiti, Quincy and his girlfriend get mixed up in a crazy situation -- someone is drugging passengers on the ship, making them go crazy and hallucinate. The drugs eventually kill the crazy hallucinating passengers, causing the rest of the people on the ship to go into a panic, afraid for their lives! Of course, Quincy being Quincy, feels the need to help and stop this crazy plot from going too far!

This is a fun two-parter with lots of action, and lots of cool late 70s/early 80s cruise ship stuff, which I LOVE... as evidenced by my earlier post of the Princess Cruise Adventure record.

One thing I really love about this episode is the ship's captain, played by character actor Ed Nelson, who is also in one of my top 5 favorite movies of all time -- Roger Corman's A Bucket of Blood. Also, he's the elusive Robert Denby, which immediately makes him the greatest human being to have ever lived.

Ed Nelson!


Oh, and you can watch A Bucket of Blood for free online, because it's in the Public Domain! Yipee!

Probably my favorite scene in this episode is in part two, when, during a screening of Phantom of the Opera, a passenger goes crazy! It's insane madness. I love it.

Oh, and the other thing I love about this episode is, after a costume party, Quincy has to seriously explain what's going on to the ship's doctor and the captain, and he is still in costume... as a jockey... with a tiny bowtie and everything.

Dr. Quincy -- Serious jockey dude
If you wanna see this episode, it's available on Netflix streaming... in HD! Jack Klugman in high definition. Nothing could be better.

Also, if you're looking for another episode of Quincy, M. E. to watch, you must must must must MUST watch what is probably the greatest episode of television ever -- "Next Stop Nowhere", where Quincy goes after punk rock. That episode guest stars Jan Levenson-Gould herself, Melora Hardin, as a teenage punk rocker. Gabba gabba hey!


You can download the Quincy, M. E. script to "Slow Boat to Madness" HERE.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The Girl in Gold Boots Memorabilia (Part 5 of 3)

Yeah, I know. I keep saying "That's the end of it all. That's the end of the Girl in Gold Boots stuff." Well, I'm sorry. I'M SORRY, OKAY?! THIS IS REALLY THE LAST ONE... maybe.

Today's article of Girl in Gold Boots-related stuff is the one and only full-length album Sinner or Saint by Joe Valino -- the guy who sang the fantastically memorable "Gold" song on the soundtrack of the film!



This is a pretty great album, actually.

I don't know really any way to recommend this album more than to say "LISTEN TO THIS." This really is a lost classic of lounge music. 

The album isn't much like his hit "Garden of Eden" single, which may be the reason why he didn't make any more records. Sad face.

This is going to sound really stupid, but I'm totally blanking on things to say about this that aren't just "LISTEN AND LIKE THIS, DANG IT" because it's just a really enjoyable album. So, listen to it and like it... dang it!

So, grab a Mai Tai and put this on. You won't be disappointed!



You can download Joe Valino's Sinner or Saint album HERE.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Hollywood Walk of Fame Trading Cards (Part 3 of 4)

Today's object of interest to me and one other person in the universe is PART THREE of the fantasmagorical Hollywood Trading Cards!

Today's card is the one, the only, J.R. Ewing aka Larry Hagman!


Okay, I can't lie. I don't own this trading card anymore. I gave it to my super cool friend Jennifer, who is the world's biggest Dallas fan.

Anyways, this guy is Larry Hagman. If you don't know who he is, then... well, I really don't know what to say. This guy has worked non-stop since the late 1950s! Of course, you should recognize him from I Dream of Jeannie or Dallas.

He was also in a great (and by great, I mean terrible yet entertaining) TV movie called Sarah T. - Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic, starring Linda Blair, William Daniels, and Luke Skywalker himself -- Mark Hamill.


Oh, and he was on The Rockford Files once. This immediately makes him a god.

Not too many people know this, but he also did some directing! He directed a bunch of episodes of Dallas, I Dream of Jeannie, and In the Heat of the Night, as well as one feature length film! That one film he directed is Beware! The Blob, the insane 1972 horror-comedy sequel to the classic Steve McQueen horror film, The Blob!

It's a strangely hilarious movie. The cast includes a lot of great actors from the 1970s including Dick Van Patten, Cindy Williams, Del Close, Carol Lynley, Bud Cort, Sid Haig, and the Penguin himself, Burgess Meredith! I highly recommend watching it. It is a laugh and a three quarters.

Check out the trailer for Beware! The Blob below!!


Oh yeah, and it also includes a cameo by Christian rock pioneer Larry Norman.

WWWWEEEEIIIIIRRRRRDDDDD. 


Anyways, this Larry Hagman guy is super cool. He's still working, too! In fact, he's playing J.R. Ewing again on the new version of Dallas!!

What a cool dude.


Also, if anyone can tell me what the question is on card #151, I'll give them 1,000,000 internet pixel-dollars.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The Darkwing Duck Buttons/Pins (Part 2)

Welcome to PART 2, and the last part of the Darkwing Duck pins/buttons/what-have-you!

First off, we've got your basic Disney Channel promo pin. Wow. Exciting.


Second, we've got a Megavolt pin! This one rules.

STORYTIME!! One time, I ran into Dan Castellaneta at a movie theater, and when I talked to him, I told him my favorite character of his was Megavolt and he got all freaked out, because everybody is all "HOMER SIMPSON" at him all the time. He spoke in Megavolt's voice at me and asked me politely to "shut up, dimbulb". It was AWESOME.


Next up, we've got a Disney Club pin from France! Why is he called Myster Mask in France? I have no idea.


Last, but certainly not least, we have the amazing, super cool, and super rare Double O Duck pin! Now, you may be saying to yourself, "Wait a gosh darn minute. This is supposed to be Darkwing Duck pins/buttons/what-have-you! Not Double O Duck, whoever the heck that is! I demand an apology, good sir!" Well guess what... YOU'RE WRONG!! Double O Duck is the original Darkwing Duck!! KAPOW!!

Apparently the "Double O" term is a copyright of the people who own the James Bond franchise, and wouldn't let Disney use the "Double O" in their character's name. Either that, or they charged too much. I'm okay with that.


This is a really, really early (and kind of weird) design of the character, and he's obviously based off the model sheet for Donald Duck... even though the show was originally conceived as a spinoff of a DuckTales episode with the title "Double O Duck", starring the Launchpad character. Confusing, I know.

This pin was originally given out at a press conference/stockholder event for Disney, where they were promoting all their new shows in development. All I can say is THANK GOD they changed the character to Darkwing Duck.

If you're so inclined, you can watch the "Double O Duck" episode of DuckTales below!!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

"Look What's Happened to Rosemary's Baby" Screenplay

In case you didn't know, there's this amazingly perfect horror film called Rosemary's Baby. It's pretty much the greatest horror movie ever made... well, you know, besides Wuhrwuhlf. Oh, and guess what? It was produced by William Castle, which immediately makes gives it a billion extra brownie points in my book.

It also was a part of THE GREATEST DOUBLE FEATURE OF ALL TIME! No, seriously. It was!


Anyways, I don't need to go into the perfectness and importance of Rosemary's Baby, since it's been well documented. What hasn't been well documented, though, is the unimportance and ridiculousness of its 1976 sequel.

Now if I know you (and I think I do), right now you're saying to yourself "THIS CAN'T BE... NO IT'S NOT TRUE...  IT'S NOT REAL... IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!"  

Well, I hate to break it to you, but yes, there is a sequel to Rosemary's Baby -- the Made-for-TV movie, Look What's Happened to Rosemary's Baby.

Oh yes. This thing really exists. And oh man, is it BAD. Well, maybe I'm being a little harsh on it. I guess it might have been OK-ish and just campy groovy 70s-ness if it had nothing to do with Rosemary's Baby, but the fact that this is supposed to be a continuation of the film, makes it so much worse than you can possibly imagine.

The UK VHS cover
There is at least one... okay, two redeeming factors of this movie. Those two redeeming factors are Ruth Gordon, reprising her Minnie role from the original film, and my favorite movie drunkRay Milland, taking over the Roman role for Sidney Blackmer... who wasn't alive anymore. Frowny face.

The film is split up into three parts, or books, or chapters, or whatever-you-wanna-call-em's -- The Book of Rosemary, The Book of Adrian, and The Book of Andrew.

The movie/first book begins right at the end of Rosemary's Baby, with Rosemary (played by Patty Duke) still freaking out about the whole baby being a Satan-baby and what not. She then kidnaps her son Adrian/Andrew away from the Satanic cult. At a bus stop, while Rosemary is on the phone with her husband Guy (George Maharis), Adrian/Andrew gets in a fight with a couple of kids and KILLS TWO OF THEM AND THEIR DOG. What a jerk. In this crazy opening, we also find out that Guy sold his son to the cult in exchange for fame and fortune in Hollywood.

Then, with the help of a Satanized prostitute named Marjean (Tina Louise), the cult catches up with her, and re-kidnaps Adrian/Andrew back from Rosemary, who is sent off in a demon-bus of some sort, driven by nobody to nowhere in particular... and she is never heard from again! In exchange for her taking care of Adrian/Andrew, the cult gives Marjean a crappy casino in the middle of nowhere.

In the second book/part, we see Adrian (played by Stephen McHattie) all grown up and living at the casino with Marjean. He also sings at the casino with his glitter/psychedelic rock band named Captain Nitro and His Acid Kings. Pure genius. Wish I had thought of that band name... dang it.

Adrian/Andrew also has a best friend/scapegoat named Peter, a self-proclaimed Jesus-Freak, who at every opportunity, tries to convert Adrian. Since the next day is Adrian's birthday, his "godparents" and all of their friends are coming to celebrate with him. His godparents, of course, being Minnie and Roman, the heads of the Satanic cult.

Because Adrian is a Satan-baby thing, he keeps having crazy nightmares, so Peter takes him to church, where he freaks out and speeds back to the casino in his Lamborghini, almost killing a bunch of bikers on the way. Back at the casino, his godparents are getting ready to do a seance/sacrifice thing with his father, Guy. To calm Adrian down, Roman offers him a joint.

No, really. He does.

So, after he smokes this joint, he immediately passes out, because that's what always happens when you smoke that Satanized weed. After he passes out, they paint his face like Marcel Marceau and do this crazy devil worship thing which then turns him into, as the script implies, an Alice Cooper-esque glam rocker.

Then, in a trance, he joins the band onstage flipping out and dancing like a madman. The whole band and audience now join Adrian in the trance. The movie then decides we need these nice close-up shots of the band like 7 or 8 times --

Beautiful.

Adrian's friend Peter notices things are going crazy, and tries to stop the band and Adrian by running up on stage and unplugging their instruments. Since the powers of Satan are strong, his Devil generator keeps them going, even with their amplifiers unplugged. FREAKY-DEAKY.

Guy doesn't like what he sees, so he runs out to his limo, but is followed by Peter who then tries to fight him and figure out what the heck is happening. Guy then picks up a downed power line and electrocutes Peter, and Adrian passes out.

PHEW!

That was a long book/chapter/whatever. Now I'd say it's time for a commercial break.


Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.

In our final chapter (THANK GOD), we find Andrew in a mental hospital for the criminally insane, with no memory of how he got there or what happened. We also find out that he has been committed there for murdering Peter. With the help of a caring nurse named Ellen (played by Donna Mills) and some weird therapy where they put wires on cotton balls into his forehead, he magically remembers what happened. He tells Ellen he needs to go find his father and she helps him escape!



Andrew and Ellen hide in a seedy motel, where they stay for the night before going to search for his dad, the real murderer. While hanging out in the room, Ellen gives Andrew a drink... and of course, it's been drugged. Yup. ELLEN IS ONE OF THEM. Like all evil geniuses, she then proceeds to explain what is going to happen -- she is going to have his Satan baby!! GAH!! Then she... well, you know. Ugh.

Eventually, he wakes up and stumbles out of the motel room towards the street. Ellen follows him out there, and Andrew's car starts driving by itself, trying to kill him! He jumps away, over cars and bushes and what-have-you. Then, out of nowhere, the car hits Ellen! The car crashes, and the cops come. Andrew tries to show them that there's nobody in the car, but when they open the door, it's (DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN) GUY!! AND HE'S DEAD!! Andrew is then hauled away by the cops, thinking he's on something.

The film then fades into a doctor's office, where Roman and Minnie find out that their "granddaughter" and her baby are going to be just fine. The camera pans over and... BOOM! It's Ellen, she's still alive, and she's still having that Beelzebaby!!

FADE OUT.

THE END.

But don't change the channel just yet! Over the credits they show pictures of a woman giving birth and when credits end, there is a shot of a crying infant!

THE END. 

REALLY.

Spooky, huh?

No, not at all. This thing is just sad. The movie is nowhere near the masterpiece that Rosemary's Baby is. In my opinion, this movie should've just been called Return of the Devil Child or Psychedelic Satan Baby or something. If they just got rid of all the Rosemary stuff, this would be a tolerable, crappy 1970s made-for-TV movie. The Rosemary stuff just brings this thing down. The entire time, you're waiting for some classic creepiness from Minnie and Roman or the claustrophobic feeling of the original film or even the feeling of disorientation, but nope... even with all the hand-held camera stuff, none of what made Rosemary's Baby so great is there.

The screenplay for this movie was written by a guy named Anthony Wilson who, in his spare time, created Banacek! AWESOME.

The film was directed by a guy named Sam O'Steen, who was better known as an editor. In fact, he edited the original Rosemary's Baby, as well as other classics like The Day of the Dolphin, Chinatown, Cool Hand Luke, Catch-22, and The Graduate! Woah!


The script here is pretty similar to the actual movie, with only a few lines and scenes missing, including a bunch of scenes at a Tokyo airport, and a scene of Ellen and Andrew searching Hollywood Blvd for his dad. There also this really really creepy cut line that kind of foreshadows a terrible real-life situation that involved Roman Polanski, the director of the original Rosemary's Baby --

SUPER CREEPY!!!!!!!!

Since you can't find this weird movie on DVD anywhere (and I'm sure it won't be included with the Criterion Collection release of the original film) you can watch this insane Made-for-TV movie here --


And you can download the .PDF of the Look What's Happened to Rosemary's Baby script HERE!!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Record #89432 - Shindig!

Today's record is the soundtrack/compilation from the super cool 60s music TV show, Shindig!

Shindig! was a pretty cool show. Trillions (okay, not trillions but maybe billions) of really popular musicians performed (or lip synced) their hits on the show, and then sold millions of records! Yipee!

Wanna see what it was like? Well, here's The Beach Boys performing "Do You Wanna Dance" on Shindig! while Mike Love dances like a freak.


Or how about The Ronettes performing "Be My Baby"?


Or The Searchers performing Sonny Bono's song "Needles & Pins"?


Or, if you're so inclined, the greatest car chase song ever (and my ringtone), "Sunshine, Lollipops & Rainbows" by Lesley Gore?


Yup, it was prettay, prettay, prettay, prettay groovy.

This soundtrack is pretty groovy too, with some great 60s pop/rock-ness. Pretty much the only big names on this album are Fats Domino, The Impressions, and The Tams, who everybody knows (or at least should know).

Even though those artists are pretty great, my favorite artist on this album  is Steve Alaimo. Why? Well, because he starred in a really crappy movie about bikers getting their "kicks" called The Wild Rebels, which, as you can guess, was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000. That fact alone makes him go up about 32 notches in my book.


You can download the Shindig! soundtrack HERE.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Record #1960something - Wild Wheels (Soundtrack)

Today's record is the soundtrack to the weird 1969 bikers vs. surfers movie Wild Wheels!

If you can't tell by that amazingly un-groovy cover to the soundtrack, this movie isn't that good. The soundtrack on the other hand, is super groovtastic.

In the movie, these biker people come to Malibu and are all like "HEY MAN, WE WANNA TAKE THIS BEACH!" and the surfer dudes go "NO WAY, BROSKY!". Music, love, action and adventure all take place and hilarity ensues. 

Okay, that last part was a lie.

Oh, and did I mention the bikers are led by Casey Kasem?


Yup. Shaggy. From Scooby-Doo. As the leader of a biker gang.

Oh, the 1960s, how I love you.


Anyways, like most 1960s B-movies that take place near a body of water, this movie includes musical performances by country and rock bands that you probably never heard of before, and most likely won't ever hear from again.

Well, except for Terry Stafford, who was an actual real life musician. He co-wrote and recorded the classic country song "Amarillo By Morning".

For a sample of some of this crazy movie and it's super fun music, check out this clip of The Saturday Revue performing their song "Holiday Rider"!!


Or you can check out this clip from this drabtastically filmed "movie", if you can even call it that. This time, we have the song "I Hear Music" by the 13th Committee! Yippee.


As you can see, the music isn't half bad. The soundtrack definitely stands on its own as a compilation of obscure late 60s country rock/pop. So check it out, yo!




You can download the soundtrack to Wild Wheels HERE.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

The Darkwing Duck Buttons/Pins (Part 1)

And so here we are, falling back into the abyss of my gigantronomic Darkwing Duck collection, with the first part of my accumulation of DW related buttons/pins/what-have-you.

First off, we've got your generic "time-to-promote-the-show-oh-crap-what-do-we-do-okay-here's-an-idea-let's-make-buttons" button. Cool.


Next, we've got a button from the Disneyland Hotel, which has these Character Dinners where you go eat dinner at the hotel and then Disney characters periodically interrupt your dinner and attack you and force you to take pictures with them while you are trying to take a bite out of your club sandwich.

I always liked this model/version of Darkwing Duck. They used it a lot in the old 90s Marvel Comic Books. For some unknown reason though, in this button version, Darkwing is wearing a Pilgrim hat. Alrighty then.

And last, but not least, the Launchpad McQuack button. Because hey, why not?

Stay tuned for even more, rarer, cooler, awesomer, and radicaler Darkwing Duck button/pin thingamajigs!!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Record #85432 - Don't Make Waves (Soundtrack)

Today's record is the Vic Mizzy/The Byrds soundtrack to the Alexander MacKendrick film Don't Make Waves, starring Tony Curtis!


It's kind of a weird (well, to me anyways) that the director and star of Sweet Smell of Success would decide to make a Beach Party-esque film.

To be perfectly honest, this is a strange movie. In fact, I'm not really sure how to describe this film. Because I'm insanely lazy, let's let the trailer do the explaining!


Does that help? No? Yeah, that's what I thought.

The movie's actually pretty fun all around, but my favorite thing about this film is the performance from the awesome character actor Robert Webber. He's just always super entertaining. Go watch his Rockford Files guest appearances -- especially the one where he's a Criswell-esque psychic. Oh yeah. It's just as groovy as it sounds.

The film also includes one of the few leading roles from Sharon Tate, who was murdered in the infamous Manson murders! Creeeeepyyyyyyyyyy.

The soundtrack is awesome, and hey, why shouldn't it be? It's by Vic Mizzy, who did some of the best soundtracks of the 60s, including the William Castle films The Night Walker, The Spirit is Willing, The Busy Body, and my second favorite movie of all time, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken!!

Also cool, is the theme song which is written by Roger McGuinn (under his real name, Jim) and performed by his band The Byrds. Super groovy.

You can get the Don't Make Waves soundtrack HERE.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Turn-On: Episode #1003 Script

Well, boy howdy. Today's item it something that is unimaginably ridiculous and extremely rare. It is the script from the nonexistent third episode of the unclassic 1969 sketch comedy show Turn-On, featuring guest star Sebastian Cabot!


For some reason, George Schlatter, the guy who produced Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In (which was actually funny and smart) decided to make a new show where the premise is that a computer chooses what weird ass political comedy is going to be thrust into your face on your television.

Cool, huh?

Well, not really. It didn't really go as planned. Depending on who you believe, the show was either cancelled after the first episode, or as Tim Conway says, halfway through the airing of the first episode. I choose to believe Tim Conway. He is Dorf, after all.

Interestingly enough, Albert Brooks was on the writing staff of this show. Now, look, I LOVE Albert Brooks. I think Real Life and Modern Romance are two of the funniest movies ever, but this show is just BLECH. Sorry, Al.

RANDOM TRIVIA: Apparently, since the show got cancelled, the second episode's airing (which guest starred Robert Culp) was preempted with an airing of the film The Oscar, which is one of my favorite campy 1960s movies. Groovy.

Supposedly the comedy was too provocative for its time. Or it just sucked. Here, judge for yourself from some clips from the unaired second episode.


Yeah. Weird.

The thing that I can't understand about this show is why it has to be a semi-clone of the infinitely better Laugh-In. The show moves from one sketch to the other at the speed of light, and the "jokes" in this show are either weird sight gags or nonsensical one-liners that required a set up not short enough to fit on a popsicle stick.

Take for example, this one --

HA! OH MY GOD! THAT IS SO SUBVERSIVE!

(Not really.)

Maybe I'm just too young or stupid or something, but I just don't find that funny at all. Maybe it's just really not funny. I don't know. I'm no comedy expert... although I pretend to be.

I also can't help but hear this sound whenever I read the punchline of all these jokes. That may be throwing me off.

The best thing about this script is the inclusion of some storyboard and concept art doodles for the episode, even though they aren't all that funny either... with the exception of this one --


Boob jokes are always hilarious, even if they make no sense with absolutely no context whatsoever.

If you wanna know more about this strange show, you should check out this interview with George Schlatter about Turn-On, or if you live in Los Angeles, go to the Paley Center for Media where you can watch the first episode in their library... which I've yet to do. You can also check out the Wikipedia page for a description of some skits from the first episode.

So, check out this rare oddity that you probably can't find anywhere else, and pray that maybe one day the two filmed episodes will be released on DVD for posterity... or for some other reason.

Download the Turn-On script for episode #1003 HERE.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Hollywood Walk of Fame Trading Cards (Part 2 of 4)

Today is part TWO of the Hollywood Walk of Fame Trading Cards that I totally forgot I started blogging about 3 months ago.

Today's card is for the late, great Ernest Borgnine!


Well, last week Ernest Borgnine died. I was in Florida. I got really sad. I like Ernest Borgnine a lot. A whole heck of a bunch of liking the Borg. 

So, because I was away from my massive DVD collection, I went onto Netflix and watched Bunny O'Hare, which is a fun American International Pictures obscurity that stars him and Bette Davis. In the film, the two of them dress up like hippies and rob banks to send money to Bette Davis' deadbeat kids (one of whom is played by John Astin), all the while being chased by an incompetent police lieutenant played by the awesome Jack Cassidy. Everyone with Netflix should definitely check it out.

Ernest Borgnine was a fun actor. Some of my favorite films from the 50s-70s include great performances by him, including Marty (which he won an Oscar for), The Legend of Lylah Clare, The Dirty Dozen, The Oscar, From Here to EternityThe Poseidon Adventure, Johnny Guitar, Willard, and The Devil's Rain.

He was also in a not-too-great (but stupidly fun) movie Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, which was later riffed on a insanely great episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

As for the photo on the card, it's him in character from his hilarious TV show McHale's Navy, which he starred in with Tim Conway and Joe Flynn. Other than McHale, probably his most famous character he played was as Mermaid Man on Spongebob Squarepants, where his sidekick Barnacle Boy was played by his McHale's Navy co-star Tim Conway.


Something you should check out, if you're a fan of the Borg (as I like to call him), is a cool road trip documentary made with his son Cris, called Ernest Borgnine on the Bus. It's super fun!


Enjoy!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Record #79 - Elvis - Original Soundtrack

Today's record is the soundtrack from the John Carpenter TV film ELVIS, starring Kurt Russell... but not sung by Kurt Russell. Because that wouldn't make any sense, now would it?




So this is the soundtrack to the John Carpenter TV movie ELVIS... obviously. This movie was his first released after Halloween and the TV movie Someone's Watching Me!, and was the first time that John Carpenter and Kurt Russell worked together. It's also Kurt Russell's first real grown-up film after making all those hundreds of Disney movies... WHICH I LOVE.

By the way, Now You See Him, Now You Don't is THE BEST. And when I met Kurt Russell that one time I told him how much I loved it, and he looked at me weirdly. I don't blame him.

Of course, after ELVIS, John Carpenter and Kurt Russell made the super groovy movies Escape from New York, Big Trouble in Little China, and Escape from LA. And hopefully they will make MORE MOVIES BECAUSE I WANT MORE MOVIES FROM JOHN CARPENTER AND KURT RUSSELL.

MORE MOOOOOVVVIIIEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!

Anywhoo, the soundtrack is all sung by this guy named Ronnie McDowell, who is a country musician and, apparently, an Elvis impersonator on the side.


Sooooo yeahhh, you should see this movie. You can get it on DVD and watch all 3 hours of it! Do iiiittttt.

And you can download the soundtrack HERE.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Record #6,000,001 - The Six Million Dollar Man "4 Exciting Christmas Adventures"

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Today's record is the fantasmagicalistic Six Million Dollar Man record "4 Exciting Christmas Adventures"! Hooray!


So the 1970s were weird... obviously. The Six Million Dollar Man was insanely popular, so they merchandised the crap out of it. There are t-shirts, shoes, action figures, and yes, Christmas records.

I'd like to point out that none of these stories are exciting. But one has a stereotypical German guy named Fritz! So I guess that makes the record pay for itself.

One of my favorite things about this kind of story records, is to compensate for the lack of images, they have to describe everything. This would be nice, if it didn't mean Steve Austin didn't have to talk to himself all the time. It's super awkward.

Also, I'm about 3000% sure that Lee Majors is not doing the voice of the Six Million Dollar Man. Buuuuut I could be wrong.



Well, here you go. Enjoy the non-excitement of these 4 exciting Christmas Adventures... or else Santa Claus will kill you. And if he doesn't, I will.

Download the record HERE.

Monday, June 18, 2012

The William Castle Memorabilia (Part 3)

And now, a message from the director of The Tingler, Mr. William Castle.


Today's post, which is presented in TEXT-O, is the exhibitor's instruction manual for the PERCEPTO gimmick for William Castle's classic film The Tingler!


I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT!

Well, luckily I have this PERCEPTO manual, and now I will forever know how to "do it".

So, in The Tingler, Vincent Price is this semi-evil doctor whose main goal in life is to prove that a creepy lobster-like creature grows in your spine when you are scared. And of course, he calls this spine tingling crustaceany thing The Tingler!

INTERESTING FACT -- The Tingler is the first film to show the movie-fied effects of the psychedelic drug LSD in a scene where Vincent Price freaks out on acid. 

WANNA SEE?!? OF COURSE YOU DO!!



When they originally showed the film in theaters, the great William Castle came up with an almost completely insane (and hilarious) gimmick -- during a scene where The Tingler gets loose in the theater, the theater owners would SHOCK certain seats with a joy buzzer type contraption which he entitled PERCEPTO! Genius. I can only hope that one day I can be PERCEPTO'd.


As you can see, this manual was sent to all the theater owners by Columbia Pictures to show them how to hook up these crazy things to the seats. They were apparently powered by car batteries, and controlled from the projection booth. They were cued by a moment where the screen goes black and Vincent Price yells...

"THE TINGLER IS LOOSE IN THE THEATER! 
EVERYBODY, SCREAM! SCREAM FOR YOUR LIVES!"


There was another part to the gimmick as well. The theater would hire a couple of girls to scream and freak out, running around the theater and fainting during the "SCREAM FOR YOUR LIVES!!" scene. They would then be dragged out on a stretcher by a couple of ushers, while the audience freaks out, or laughs at them for being stupidly scared.

GAH! I WANT TO SEE THIS IN A THEATER IN 1959! GIVE ME A DANG TIME MACHINE, YOU LAZY SCIENTIST JERKS!




You can download the PERCEPTO manual for The Tingler HERE!!

Oh, and if you're looking for an early Christmas gift for me, well you can just go buy me a Tingler.

Enjoy! And don't forget to SCREAM!! SCREAM FOR YOUR LIVES!!