Thursday, February 18, 2010

Article #321 - The Darkwing Duck Mask

In my first post, I claimed to have the largest Darkwing Duck collection in the known universe. I assure you, I am not kidding.

Even as my taste in films and television has changed, Darkwing Duck has always been one show that I can watch and always find hilarious. As a child, I laughed at the all of the Batman references and classic Looney Tunes-esque cartoon humor. As an adult, I've discovered that it is quite possibly the funniest and most cleverly written cartoon of all time. Here are 2 examples:

Example #1 In what other kid's cartoon would you hear any villain utter the diabolically decadent line "If the neo-postmodernist backlash hadn't caught pre-antirealism in it's wake you'd be sitting pretty!"?

Example #2 In what other kid's show would you see an episode completely dedicated to be a parody of David Lynch's Twin Peaks entitled "Twin Beaks" complete with a villain "dead, wrapped in plastic", 100s of "log ladies", and title sequence parody?

Seriously, it's my favorite show of all time, and ever since Darkwing Duck premiered in 1991, I've had an unhealthy obsession with all things DW. Luckily for me, my mom and grandmother supported the heck out of this obsession. I literally own everything and by everything, I mean EVERY-FREAKING-THING Darkwing Duck related. Some are really awesome and some are just plain weird and obsessive-like. This is one of those weird and obsessive ones.

In 1993, the Disney Afternoon was at the height of its popularity. There was Ducktales, TaleSpin, Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers, Gummi Bears, and of course (in my humble opinion) the best one of all, Darkwing Duck. And it was pretty dang popular, I mean there were action figures, watches, video games, underwear, t-shirts, shorts, fanny packs, cereal boxes, board games, lunchboxes, video tapes, trading cards, collectible stickers... basically everything that you can milk out of a kid's television show was taken advantage of. That same year, there was the unforgettable Disney Afternoon on Iceshow. There weren't too many shows, and if you try Googling it, you won't find anything. No pictures, no merchandise, no programs - NOTHING!!

One night, my dad came home from work and picked up my mom, my friend Christa, and I and surprised us by taking us to the Disney Afternoon on Ice. The only thing I really remember from the actual show is seeing DW as he skated by, and waving to me, and as awesome as that memory may be, it's definitely not as cool as this semi-creepy Darkwing Duck mask sold only at the very few shows that were put on by the Disney Afternoon on Ice.

I DARE you to find another one of these on the interweb. You can't. I assure you.

I leave you now with a hilariously bad-yet-great cover of the Darkwing Duck theme song.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Film #256 - Meet the Deedles

Once in a great while (for me anyways), a film comes along that is... unforgettable. In 1998, Walt Disney Pictures released a film entitled Meet the Deedles starring Paul Walker, Steve Van Wormer, and Frank Booth himself - Dennis Hopper.

The plot is as follows: After being expelled from their high school, twin brothers and hip Hawaiian surfers Phillip Andrew Preston Deedle III and Stuart Michael James Deedle Esq., are shipped away by their dad to a boot camp in Wyoming. Hilarity ensues as on the way from the airport to the boot camp, they are involved in a car wreck after which they escape their driver, and end up (mistakenly, I might add) as Park Rangers. As if that isn't situational comedy at its best, their mission is to foil ex-Ranger Frank Slater ("Why do there have to be people like Frank?"), his evil henchmen, their trained prairie dogs, and their plot to destroy the timeless geyser that is "Old Faithful".

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget this movie. Maybe it was the fact that I saw it in theaters. On opening day. First showing. Maybe it was the fact that as I was growing up, it was on cable every other day. Maybe it was the fact that every time I was at my buddy Lump's house, it would somehow magically end up in the VCR. Maybe it was the fact that brilliant lines like "Two words: No." and "Insert laugh here." were forever embedded into my regular lexicon. Who knows?

For some reasons that just cannot be explained, this film was always in the back of my mind. Any film I watched would ultimately be compared to Meet the Deedles, and not always favorably. It came to a point to where I couldn't stop thinking of it. At the record store I worked at, I would see "Fast and the Furious" come in almost 4 times a day and get depressed that I was seeing Paul Walker's obvious talent at playing a retarded surfer wasted. I ended up spending most of my time at work searching and waiting for the soundtrack and/or the DVD. Finally after years of waiting, the soundtrack came in. As with all movies of the late 90s, it was chock full of third-wave ska such as Goldfinger, Save Ferris, and The Dance Hall Crashers. But, as much as I enjoyed finally owning the soundtrack, I was longing for more. Like a heroin addict, I needed my Deedles. I just couldn't believe that in the 3 years of working at a record store in the heart of LA, I was never able to locate a DVD copy of Meet the Deedles.

But, after about 4 seconds of Googling, I discovered that the film was not available on DVD in the United States. Thankfully there was a DVD release, but only in Germany. Yeah... Germany. Apparently, it was a ginormous hit in the German market since, as you all know, we Germans love our low-brow surfer "out of water" comedies (we Germans love puns, too).

If you're so inclined, I suggest you pick up a copy from AmazonUK. It's pretty "tubular", that is, if you're able to suspend your reality for 90 minutes and be a 11 year old boy. Mahalo.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Article #1121 - The "John Stamos T-Shirt"

The television show Full House, described in a technical matter as 1/3 grilled cheese, 1/3 one of those packets of the powdery cheese substance from Kraft® Mac & Cheese, and 1/3 double cheese pizza with stuffed crust (you eat it backwards, just like Ringo!) all dipped into a fondue bowl full of cheese, is one of the most popular yet lamest television shows ever created. Although, as we all know, a few inherently evil things did come of that show (Uncle Joey's Bullwinkle impression, San Francisco, the Olsen Twins), one great speck of genius did rise out of the ashes. Of course, I speak of the one and only John Stamos - Uncle Jesse, and his rock band "Jesse and The Rippers".

Sadly, when the show was canceled in 1995, "Jesse and The Rippers" were never heard from again. I thought all was lost, less for a few choice episodes in syndication and on DVD until I stumbled upon this...

Luckily for me, a 14 year old girl in 1992 with a color printer and some iron-on paper created this t-shirt, decided she didn't like it, threw it into her closet, and donated it to Goodwill 17 years later.

I may be $3 poorer, but the eternal smiles this shirt gives me every time I open my closet are priceless.


Welcome to 'my little underground'.

Basically, the point of this blog (or at least what it will start as) is to act as a window into my obsessions. For one, I collect a lot of things. A lot. Some make sense. Some don't. Some are just plain weird. Some are part of a larger collection. I claim to have the largest "Darkwing Duck" collection in the known universe, and I challenge anyone to prove me wrong.

I want to share my obsessions with the world, be it music (ahem... the Ramones), toys, movies, random items of randomness, strange records, books, clothes, or the overuse of parentheses (I like that one a lot) I want to share it with you all.

I hope you enjoy your trip through 'my little underground and the world of TRON®*'.

*TRON® is a registered trademark of the Walt Disney Company, and although I may be obsessed with a Disney television show, and Disney in general (as some people may argue), I am not, have not, and will never be endorsed by the Walt Disney Company**.

**Unless they ask if I want their endorsement, whence I shall answer affirmatively.