Record #81 - Shirley, Squirrely & Melvin: "LIVE"

What would life be without crappy ripoffs of crappy novelty groups? 

Nothing, thats what. And, well, today's record is one of those.

Today's record is a ridiculous ripoff of the already tremendously terrible Alvin & the Chipmunks, by the group Shirley, Squirrely & Melvin and their album "LIVE", although I highly doubt that it's an actual "LIVE" recording.

I wonder if the people who made this really thought they'd get away with such a blatant ripoff. Dave Seville should sue these guys.

Alright, so yeah. Those Alvin & the Chipmunks people were making a lot of money off of albums like Chipmunk Punk and the like, so a bunch of people started making these weird "high-pitched animals singing pop songs" records. I guess these people didn't think twice about the inevitable comparisons between squirrels and chipmunks.

Even the Simpsons made fun of this whole "Rodent Invasion".

Hey, look! Spinal Tap!

Anywhoo, let's talk about this album. 

It really spoke to me.

It told me "WE CAN MAKE YOU HATE A BUDDY HOLLY SONG".

On that note, let's begin our track by track journey through this mess and try to make some sense out of this ridiculousness.

1) Introduction - Fake crowd noises and someone saying the group's name. So far this is my favorite track on the album.

2) Back in the USA - Our first real song is a Chuck Berry song. One of these squirrels implores us to "COME ON AND CLAP YOUR HANDS". Sorry, but no. I refuse to put my hands together to make such a noise.

3) It's So Easy - Ah, the aforementioned Buddy Holly song. This just makes me sad. If they really wanted to do "ONE FOR BUDDAY!", then they should have done him the favor of leaving it alone. Now whenever I hear the supremely superior original version, this crappy one will pop into my head. Ugh. Don't listen to this version unless you want your heart to cry.

4) The Gambler (feat. Denny Richards) - Okay, this one is just ludicrous. LUDICROUS, I SAY! This cover of the classic song features the alternate Hell-on-Earth-Universe version of Kenny Rogers -- Denny Richards. Now, are they REALLY trying to make us think that Denny Richards is a real person? I'm not convinced. Also, should squirrels be singing songs about drinking and gambling? Can these squirrels even wrap their tiny little brains around the importance of this song? Am I looking too much into this?

5) Mercedes Benz - This is a Janis Joplin song. It is an a capella song. Now, I don't really like Janis Joplin all that much, but still. Come on. These people are on a mission to ruin every single song from the past 60 years with high-pitched squirrels, and by golly, they're gonna do it.

6) Boulevard - Okay, here's a Jackson Browne song. I hate it. You hate it. We all hate it. Let's all hate it some more by making squirrels sing it. Whee!

7) Soul Man - This song makes me wish I didn't have a soul.

8) Blue Suede Shoes - Why? Because Elvis sounds SO MUCH BETTER when you up the pitch 3 and a half notches.

9) I Like Reggae Too - Ugh. I don't. 

10) Get Back - Oh yeah. Because we haven't ruined everything good in the world yet, let's ruin the Beatles. Yippee!

11) Love Lives On - Finally. The end. And, unsurprisingly, another crappy crappiness of craptoscity. Almost as bad as Ron Cey.

Thanks a lot, Canada, for ruining everything good in music. Again. Was ANVIL not enough!?

I'm kidding, of course. Anvil rules.

Shirley, Squirrely & Melvin on the other hand... Blech.

Download this idiocy HERE.