Beyond Westworld "Sound of Terror" Teleplay

Today's super insanely radical magnificentness is the script for the "Sound of Terror" episode of the short-lived TV series Beyond Westworld!!

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Hey, Jeremy. There's no TV show called Beyond Westworld! Would they really make a TV show based off the Westworld and Futureworld movies? No! That's crazy! YOU'RE CRAZY! STOP TORTURING ME WITH OBSCURE CRAP!"

Well, I hate to break it to you, but yes, they did make a TV series based off the Westworld/Futureworld movies... and it was awesome!

Okay, so it wasn't that cool. But still! A Westworld TV series? I'd watch it. And I have, thanks to the healing power of bootleg DVDs. It's an odd little obscurity with a premise that really forces you to suspend disbelief to the extreme.

In the show, a mad doctor named Simon Quaid (who used to work for the Delos parks) has created and programmed a bunch of androids to integrate into society as humans and do his bidding to help him in his mission to conquer the world! Yeesh... why can't mad doctors ever use their powers for good?

Anyways, there's these spies, John Moore and Pamela Williams, and their mission is to find these androids and destroy them! Cool, huh?

Obviously the show didn't last too long. Actually, they only produced 5 episodes and 2 of them never aired in the US. The premise for the show is pretty fun, but it really has nothing to do with the Westworld series of films, except for the name "Delos" and the crazy, murderous robots. 

It's too bad the show didn't have too much to do with the films, though. I think that Westworld is one of the most fun and interesting Sci-Fi movies ever made, and it's one of my all-time favorites. Unlike most people, I really like the sequel Futureworld, too. But then again, I'm weird. Also, I will watch, and inevitably fall in love with anything starring Peter Fonda and/or Stuart Margolin.

Now... back to the show! 

So the script we have here is from the final aired episode -- "Sound of Terror". In this episode, the evil Simon Quaid steals some Uranium from a nuclear power plant with the help of an android member of the rock group Power and Ruth to sell to a terrorist named Hakim Fadar, so John and Pamela follow the band around and thwart Quaid's plan of world domination! Super groovy. 

Check out the episode preview (and title sequence) below!

  

I really enjoy the writing in this script, especially the description of the band, which dresses them up like some weird mixture of Jefferson Airplane and The Village People.

 Man, I just love reading about shaking butts...

I especially love the dialogue that's given to the members of the band, which is very similar to a lot of the corny 70s and 80s After-School Special stuff. It doesn't make them cool, it just makes them sound like your regular old rockstar stereotype, saying all sorts of random colloquialisms that NOBODY SAYS. Well, that is unless real, actual people in the 70s called their name their "handle" and talked about getting their "kicks" a lot.

The episode ends just like your basic 70s/80s TV series with the one thing about television that  will never, ever get old -- The FREEZE FRAME! God, I love those.

I think it's a pretty fun episode with lots of music and action and spying, but it apparently wasn't fun or action-packed or spy-ful enough for everyone else, since the show was cancelled after this episode aired.

The show hasn't really been seen too much since it was cancelled (except for bootlegs), but apparently that will change in the near-ish future, since the geniuses at the Warner Archive say their going to release it on DVD! Then you can buy the DVD and watch it and read the script at the same time! Hooray for multitasking!

You can download the Beyond Westworld "Sound of Terror" teleplay HERE.

Bombs Away!

Book #8691 - Blackbeard's Ghost Comic Book

Today's thing of interest to nobody else but me is the comic book novelization of my favorite late 60s weird-ass Disney film, Blackbeard's Ghost!

Magical, isn't it?

Well anyways, since I've talked wayyyyyy too much about this movie before, I won't go into the whole detail of the synopsis of the film again, so we'll talk about this crazy comic book!

For some reason, the comic book starts off with a scene that takes place about 15 minutes into the film and then flashbacks to the beginning. Confusarama!

Also, why does Dean Jones' cartoon character version look nothing like him, and exactly like Generic White Guy #993842?

So, the story continues and there's some great panels that show people narrating while something confusing is happening to them -- like this motorcycle cop who is being attacked by the drunken ghost of Blackbeard.

Help! I forgot to take my anti-psychotic medication

and now I can't stop narrating!

Then, randomly a couple pages later, there is a 3 page break in the story for some odd pieces of confusingness that have nothing to do with anything regarding Blackbeard's Ghost! My favorite of these things, though, is this page entitled Jest for Fun, featuring a happy picture of a an overpopulated barrel of monkeys and a bunch of 2-3 line jokes that apparently weren't good enough for a popsicle stick.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program...

So then we are thrown violently back into the story and into a crazy race where Blackbeard is screwing around with everything and helping Godolphin win so that an illegal bet that was made can be collected to help fund an old ladies' hotel. Yippee!! 

Soooooo, they win the race and the guy who runs the illegal gambling parlor who took the illegal bet on the illegal race from the illegal ghost of Blackbeard decides to not pay them their money... which is illegal! 

So the illegal ghost of Blackbeard and Dean Jones and Suzanne Pleshette rush over to the illegal gambling hall and attempt to get their illegal winnings from the illegal Silky Seymour!

And in all the illegal hubbub, this happens...

Hallelujah.

This is my favorite comic book panel of all time. Just pure genius.

So anyways, as you can guess, everything happens in favor of the ghost of Blackbeard and Dean Jones and Godolphin college and the old ladies' hotel thing, so we have our patented Disney happy ending.

Oh, and then we top it all off with this frightening advertisement for Golden Magazine.

Is Cracky on crack? Tune in next week to find out!

You can download the Blackbeard's Ghost comic book HERE!

Arrrrrrr!

The William Castle Memorabilia (Part 2)

Today's grooviness is the full set of lobby cards from William Castle's film, Project X!

Although it's not technically a "great" film, Project X has got a few cool things going for it. First, it's (obviously) directed by William Castle, and it's his only Sci-Fi film. Second, the psychedelicarrific special effects were produced by Hanna-Barbera (who later recycled some of the character animation effects into Johnny Quest). But my favorite thing about the film is the really entertaining performance from Henry Jones, who plays a semi-mad-scientist that hooks computers up to a spy's brain and projects his dreams and memories onto some sort of hologram monitor thing! Super cool. I definitely enjoy this film a whole bunch.

As you'll notice from looking at the lobby cards, there is also some really awesome Star Trek-y set design, and in fact, they used a bunch of sound effects from the show. Most recognizable though, is the classic Star Trek sliding door sound effect!

The movie, which is set in the future year of 2118, is about a government panel bringing a cryogenically frozen spy back to reality to help them figure out what sort of crazy people-killing device the evil Chinese have created. Also, for some reason, they feel the need to distract him by inducing an amnesia type situation and make him believe he lives in the year 1968 as a bank robber on the run, hiding in a rural farm house.

Yep. It's your classic "amnesia = interesting Sci-Fi plot device" kind of story!

Before you ask, YES, I do own

this poster.

The movie has been notoriously hard to find for almost forever, but it's finally being released by the  magical gods at Olive Films on DVD and Blu-Ray, followed by another Castle oddity, the comedy The Spirit is Willing starring Sid Caesar!! That's right, the first William Castle films being put on Blu-Ray are going to be two of his most obscure films. I find that odd, but hey, I'm not complaining! I'm so excited, I pre-ordered both of them two months ago!

Below you'll find the complete set of eight promotional lobby cards from Project X. These cards are perfect, as they give you an excellent feel for the aesthetic of the film, along with some of the super cool poster art, including William Castle's trademark silhouette logo.

By the way, the last one is my favorite, but that's only because I like brains floating in gigantic fishbowls of  Hi-C Ecto-Cooler.

And as always, you can CLICK on the photos to enable the ENLARGE-O-MATIC PHOTO EMBIGGENER®!!

Record #1985 - The Goon Squad - Eight Arms To Hold You (12" Single)

Alright, Goonies... Today's record is the incredible superduperly magnificientalicious 12" single "Eight Arms To Hold You" from the soundtrack to The Goonies.

So, you might be saying to yourself "Hey, Jeremy. Why is there a song about an octopus on The Goonies soundtrack?! There's no octopus in The Goonies! You lying, dastardly son of a motherless goat!"

To answer this hypothetical question that nobody asked, I'd have to point you to this video of a (dun dun dunnnnnnn) DELETED SCENE FROM THE GOONIES!

Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Wooo! I win!

Anyways, so they wrote this song for the movie, and the song didn't end up being in the finished movie, but they still made a single for it and, well, the rest is history... I guess.

So there's 3 tracks on this. The first is the regular old vocal track, then you've got the "Bonus Beat" version, which is basically the short version of the song with more bass drum and no vocals. Lastly, you've got the "DUB" version, which is the song with 10 extra seconds of filler. Whee!

You can download the "Eight Arms To Hold You" 12" single HERE!

And, yes the file is ginormous -- just like the octopus... and Chunk's belly.