Monday, January 16, 2012

Record #7-10 - Bowl-A-Record

The title Bowl-A-Record kind of explains itself, doesn't it? No? Bah! You people and your expectations of long, convoluted descriptions and paragraphs that lead to nowhere!

Well, you asked for it (not really) and now you're going to get it.

Anyways, today's record is the "supreme, scientific way of harnessing the power of your mind" to get on your way to becoming THE GREATEST BOWLER IN THE UNIVERSE!!

Okay, not really. Maybe the greatest bowler in your apartment building, but not the universe.

Sorry if I got your hopes up.

This record is supposed to teach you how to become a better bowler by using the POWER OF SUGGESTION which apparently, we all have. That's a lame superpower. I want Cheese-Vision™, dang it.

As evidenced by the back cover of this record, the narrator, Professor Richard Carl Spurney (who has a degree in Bowlology) is "one of the world's noted authorities on recorded suggestion. He has served in this capacity as consultant to our armed forces, the medical profession, educational institutions, and large corporations". Huh. Didn't know that. Don't really care, either.

In case you're wondering, the POWER OF SUGGESTION is basically you trying to convince (aka hypnotize) yourself to think that you're a better bowler. Now, maybe that helps you, and that's cool, but I  sure as heck don't try to convince myself that I'm a brain surgeon, although that would be fun...

As you listen to the narration on Side Two, you should be convinced that the power of suggestion is a serious thing.

No… wait… That's the "Power of Love" by Huey Lewis and the News.

Well,  anyways, don't listen to Side Two if you're sleepy, because you might fall asleep and wake up a better bowler and try to bowl a baby out a window or something. People do crazy things when they're hypnotized. Believe me, I've seen enough horror movies to know that these things happen almost every day.

Well, I hope you enjoy Bowl-A-Record. Perhaps one day, with the help of Professor Richard Carl Spurney, you will become a better bowler and win the World's Championship of Bowling, or as I like to call it, The Bowling Bowl.

Fair warning though -- if you do win The Bowling Bowl, I get half the prize money for introducing you to this self-improvement record.

Download the Bowl-A-Record record HERE.

Have fun, and keep bowling for the stars!!

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