Record #6,000,001 - The Six Million Dollar Man "4 Exciting Christmas Adventures"

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Today's record is the fantasmagicalistic Six Million Dollar Man record "4 Exciting Christmas Adventures"! Hooray!

So the 1970s were weird... obviously. The Six Million Dollar Man was insanely popular, so they merchandised the crap out of it. There are t-shirts, shoes, action figures, and yes, Christmas records.

I'd like to point out that none of these stories are exciting. But one has a stereotypical German guy named Fritz! So I guess that makes the record pay for itself.

One of my favorite things about this kind of story records, is to compensate for the lack of images, they have to describe everything. This would be nice, if it didn't mean Steve Austin didn't have to talk to himself all the time. It's super awkward.

Also, I'm about 3000% sure that Lee Majors is not doing the voice of the Six Million Dollar Man. Buuuuut I could be wrong.

Well, here you go. Enjoy the non-excitement of these 4 exciting Christmas Adventures... or else Santa Claus will kill you. And if he doesn't, I will.

Download the record HERE.

Articles #722 & 456- The Pac-Man Items

So, apparently it's the 30th Anniversary of Pac-Man. Now, I've been alive for almost 24 of those years and I think it's about time someone gets me one of those tabletop Ms. Pac-Man machines. Dagnabit.

Anywhoo, thanks to the popularity of the Pac-Man video game, we got some good and... well, not so good Pac-Man memorabilia. From magnets, to band-aids, to belt buckles, to energy drinks, to cereal, to Christmas Comes To PacLand (the second-worst Christmas special of all time) -- there's way too much to count.

Now, I COULD give you Buckner & Garcia's masterpiece, "Pac-Man Fever" 45 and be done with it, but that'd be too easy.

Nope, instead I'm gonna share with you my two favorite Pac-Man items that I own.

First, we have the stuffed Pac-Man. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't remember Pac-Man having hands, arms, feet, legs, a torso, a t-shirt, or eyes. Oh well.

JUMPING JOYSTICKS!!

Here we have the Pac-Man Fever tract from your friends at "Jews F✡r Jesus". Luckily for us "boys & girls, moms & dads, punks & all-Americans", even if we do play Pac-Man, Jesus will allow us into Heaven! Because after all, if we make a pact with God, we will be a Pact-Man. Get it?!? Oh puns, how I love thee.

Oh, and the fact that they use the words "fresser" and "notorious noshers" makes me wayyyyy too happy.

Okay, I couldn't help it.

Here's the "Pac-Man Fever" 45.

Enjoy!

Download it free, HERE.